#whirlybird

“What’s with that look, meatbag?”

The tiny little human is grinning up at him, trying to hold back laughter. He’s on his back, mass shifted with them lazily riding his spike. it’s a face that’s making him edgy, plates prickling. A voice is snarling at him that they’re laughing at him. He’s disgusting. Bad at this. Unfuckable. Unlovable. It’s making his pincers twitch, caught between giggling with them and pushing them off and leaving.

Noticing the big yellow peeper narrowing into a scowl the human crosses their arms over his chassis, resting their head on top as they smile so sweetly at him.

“Hey whirlybird- right. Stop glaring at me like that while you’re inside me. You’re going to give me a complex - I had a thought.” They’re grinning now.

He vents, trying to ground himself. Focus on the feeling of his spike being strangled by that soft gripping valve.

“It’s about how you can’t believe you’re taking this handsome mech for a spin, right?” His pincers clack at his sides.

“It’s about how you’re going to ride me like an equinoid off into the sunset?”

His little human giggles again, racing a finger down him, eyes not leaving his.

“It was an intrusive thought.” They’re giggling trail off, biting their lip. Whirl makes a show of slowly blinking his optic, interested now.

“Those are my favourite thoughts.”

They take a breath before continuing excitedly.

“So your all mass shifted right? It’s great and all. Very convenient for riding you like a uhh…equinoid.” He nods, twitching inside them a their pace slows so they’re now planted on him.

“Well I was wondering. You have full control over that right? Like it’s not something you have to actively concentrate on or like a reserve you just run out of in the middle of it, right?”

A groan leaves the mech as his head flops back on the berth.

“No? Who cares? Ask brainstorm. I’m sure he loves dirty science talk while blowing his load.” He’s venting loudly again and his human rolls their eyes at how huffy their metal chicken can be.

“Because i was thinking-“

“Nope. Enough. Giddy-up.” He’s making clicking sounds, hips thrusting up against them as they glare and knock on his chest, clenching hard around him. They smile when he lets out a whine and his head pops back up, frowning at them again.

“Yeah so anyway…I was thinking. Like what would happen if hypothetically you were to mass shift back to full size inside of me. Like, that thing is bigger than I am so I wonder if I’d just implode into red mist. Maybe I’d just be left like an open pizza pocket and all my organs would slide down your spike. Bet it would be brutal.” His human is cackling, each wheeze causing them to pulse around him. His head cocks to the side, optic dilating. He’s quiet.

His human stares back at him, reading his expression and also falling silent before letting out a yelp and scrambling off of his spike, just as the air whips past them. They’re catapulting upwards, legs and arms flailing to wrap around the base of the now giant spike materialising in front of their eyes to not fall. When they stop moving, they look up at the phallic tower looming over them then to the giant yellow peeper blinking at them. Innocent and curious.

“Whirl!”

They’re trying to catch their breath, not sure if they should laugh or cry. Adrenaline sparking through them.

“You stupid fucking chicken! Hypothetically! I said hypothetically!” They’re hitting and kicking the base of his spike with those fleshly little limbs. It’s enough to make his body shudder and his optic rolls back as he lets out a groan.

They glare at him, then up, just in time to get a face full of the thick glowing fluid oozing and spurting down his shaft. They splutter, now drenched in it as they try to wipe their face clean. Taking a breath, they collapse onto their ass, hysterical. Angry but hysterical.

“Holy shit. I can’t believe you. You’re a fucking degenerate, you know? Literally the worst.”

He is venting hard, pushing himself onto his elbows.

“It’s your fault for having thoughts. It’s especially your fault for sharing them.”

They give him a withering look.

“Oh. Yeah. Real smart. Let’s tell whirl about my impulsive, dangerous, and totally sexy idea. He’s such a paragon of self control.”

Yep. Ok. He’s right. He at least has the decency to look sheepish. They flop down into his hip, finders tracing the dented scuffed metal. His pincers are prodding at their back, tracing the curve of them while trying not to break skin.

“Hey whirl. You totally knew I’d get off in time, right?”

“Totally.”

They snort.