#whereisbritt

I guess I am going to try and write a blog. Confidence is key. I have a lot of thoughts. I feel entitled to share them. Usually I share them with myself, out loud, in my car on the way to work, in the bathroom late at night or to my friend Britt, who writes them down, and reads them back to me. She’s the Grace Farrell to my Daddy Warbucks. I am confident we will never be financially stable enough to adopt an orphan, however, we are in hot pursuit of a Punjab. As a friend, and liaison to crisp white slacks and statement turbans. I have, over time, forgotten a lot of my colorful thoughts as I am too busy putting my car keys in my refrigerator for no apparent reason. So, i will try to muster them up and share them, and you will listen. So help me, you will listen. Or don’t. If i know you, I will probably hear about it. If I don’t know you, I will probably still hear about it because bitches love to talk shit.

So, wait, it’s 2015. I am a lot older than I ever thought I would be and I decided this year I was going to try and be more kind and less critical of everyone. Blanket statement. It has proven to be next to impossible, but it is my journey. Starting with my 7 year old niece, because often I treat her like a peer. She’s way more capable than I am, just in general, so I don’t often notice I am being spicy with her. She actually has more money in her savings than I do. FACT: She has $123. She offered me “Two Bucks” if I videotaped her doing something “hilarious” and personally sent it to Tom Bergeron of America’s Funniest Home Videos. We are in the same spin class (I am kidding, I do not do spin, but I do know Tom Bergeron.*) I explained to her that comedy was “spontaneous” and that she couldn’t force it. She blinked and offered me one more dollar, because “I looked like I could use it.” So, I taped her kicking her sister. She informed me however she will not share the $10,000 with me if she wins, with an emphatic “nope, absolutely not.” Needless to say I never sent him the video. She’ll learn.

Overall in 2015 I just want to alter my way of thinking because one time I read part of the book The Secret and if you think positively, positive things happen. And I’ve done it, and it worked. I have secreted a TON, on everything, everywhere I could, just secreting left and right. When you have secreted something, you know. You can definitely feel it.

I know what I did there.

So, allow me to take you, readers, who will include Britt, my sister, and someone who has a beef with me, presumably dating back to 2009, who came across my Tumblr while googling me late at night. Welcome, and thank you for giving me a purpose to be on my computer for a raucous amount of time that does not include google imaging Billy Zane.

Regards,

Paige!