#whatneverwas

sand in our shoes, waves in our guts

flowers blooming by some miracle

because you always had a talent to make those happen.

maybe we’ll meet, and you’ll be married, and I’ll have kids

and we’ll just sit there, hands barely touching,

catching up on what never was.

maybe we

won’t go anywhere at all

just that second, eternal, fleeting

dust flying into our eyes

Sometimes, in the quiet moments of the day, the feeling of missing you catches me. It's like a soft ache that's so familiar I almost forget it's a stranger. Because what I miss isn't you. I miss a reflection, an echo that you once set off inside me.

In my memory, you've become an empty stage. A place where I can act out my unfulfilled desires, my sadness, and my dreams. The real person you are would probably be an unwanted noise in this carefully staged performance.

It's an irony so delicate it almost hurts. I long for you, even though I know I don't truly want you. Because your closeness would destroy the enigma you are to me. And that's exactly the mystery of this kind of longing: It's a love for what isn't, for what could be, but never will be.

I miss an idea that, in my imagination, was the perfect answer to a question I never asked myself.

First look at What Never Was

A new trailer has been released for What Never Was, which is set to release January 11, 2019.