my boyfriend when he gets angry curses and yells at me and blames me for everything. should i just accept heâs right and stop defending myself ? and then when i try to be obedient and quiet and good he hates it and tell me to act normal. what should i do?
Hi. Sounds like a confusing situation.
Are you and your boyfriend in a Vanilla relationship or a kink based one? (Not looking for a response) â but thatâs the first question that comes to mind. Iâm going to guess from the way you asked this question itâs more vanilla with a bit of an abusive element to it. Now if it was kink-based like they are your 24/7 Dom.. then Iâd ask is the abuse consensual?
But it doesnât sound like it is, it doesnât sound to me like you and your boyfriend have put in the work to discuss the type of relationship you both wantâ on one hand he wants to be mean and abusive to youâ and you want to defend yourself.. so it sounds to me like youâre not ok with how heâs treating you.. and youâre trying to be obedient and quiet and âgoodâ for him.. and he hates it. So doesnât seem like he really is interested in a relationship with a submissive partner, atleast not a healthy one.
I donât really think my opinion should matter on what you should do.. I donât know you.. but it sounds to me like you should get the hell out of there.
I will add one thing thoughâ in my previous relationships that have always revolved around hard dark kinksâ i.e. degrading, consensual abuse, sadism, violence, manipulation, etc.. they are ALWAYS consensual. There have been hundreds of conversations, foundations have been built, trust has been earned. Anything else, that doesnât have that level of effort put into it.. is just an abusive man child who doesnât actually give a shit about you, is incapable of leading you and isnât worthy of a womanâs submission or partnership.












