#welcometothelightside

You could feel the warmth from his body burrowing into every cut and scrape that you had sustained in your fight with Palpatine. You were leaving the place between worlds, a darker place than what you had imagined when you could see his face coming into view. Ben’s voice calling out your name, you can’t leave him, this can’t be how balance works not if it means he looses you. The darkness dissipates and suddenly Ben’s face is all you can see, your hand immediately seeks out his cheek, and you bring your lips to his. There is a peacefulness after the destruction of the Sith, the planet Excegol even seemed to quiet itself but you knew evacuation was a must at this time. You lay there in Ben’s arms smiling, his face in your hands. Ben starts to fade and your hearts racing, this can’t be the end, this can’t be what they meant by bringing peace to the galaxy. Sitting upright in your bed, clutching the covers and creating crescent shaped cuts in the tops of them. It had been two months since you lost Ben Solo, countless past Jedi had been in contact with you through the force but not one had worn the face of the man you loved. Hadn’t he redeemed himself, had the force decided it wasn’t done with him, had the darkness been to great for him to ever be one with the force? Countless questions roamed your head these days, and it didn’t seem like even going out on missions through the galaxy could simmer your anger. BB-8 chirped with concern in the corner as he rolled through the door way, Leia’s force ghost appearing with a stern look on her face. “You’ve got to beat this Rey.”  You decided upon no response being the best response, most of the time you plastered a fake smile on your face and nodded with Poe’s orders. You knew they knew something was going on with you, but you just didn’t really care. It didn’t feel right that you were alive only because Ben willed it so. BB-8 once again chirping at you to get a move on, and Leia disappeared, at least for now. Taking a hot shower you noticed that in your grief you had probably gained some weight, food seemed to be the most comfort that you could truly find. Pulling your Jedi Robes on and they were just a tad bit more snug than you remembered. ‘Just what I need.’

Being sure to grab your new lightsaber on your way out to defend the rest of the galaxy. Although there hadn’t been much to defend it from since the fall of the Sith. Poe had been in contact with the planets on the outer rim after the mass rally to Exegol, the Resistance had grown into something much more than it ever had been before. You were proud of him and Finn, and that still managed to shine through. Clasping a hand on his shoulder he was briefing of Cantonica, the gambler’s pride planet. You had not been with Rose and Finn when they went there, you had surrendered yourself to Kylo Ren and Snoak. A shudder crept down your spine of that memory, but the look on his face when he begged you to take his hand. You were paying half attention and Finn caught sight of you, narrowing his eyes, as you playfully smiled back. Something else on the hologram catching your eye, a headline title of ‘Rogue Jedi Knight Spotted’. No one else seemed interested in the title at this time, and you couldn’t help but wonder if this would be a lead on Ben. He wasn’t gone, you wouldn’t accept it, not until you had proof.

It hadn’t really been a secret of the research that you had been doing, just no one else really seemed to be on board with you doing it. Poe had his new position to attend to, and well Finn, Finn had his own troubles. Rose and Jannah on either side of him, both of them flashing smiles at you. They had been jealous of you a few months prior, but after Pasaana, and finally talking to Finn about his deep embedded secret and not undying confession of love for you. He was just trying to tell you that he found himself being force sensitive, you were a bit unsure how to process this information at first, considering the strong connection that you and Ben shared through the Force. That was a piece of you that was now gone as well, and you kept walking around the hologram table in which everyone was gathered. It appeared it was going to be yet another boring day, and you wanted to ask about taking a hiatus. This hiatus would include a trip to Naboo, and take a waltz down where a lot of this started. You can’t fix the future if you keep repeating the past, and maybe it could give you the answers that you were hoping for. Alderaan was gone, Jakku was gone, and there was no reason to go back to where the last Jedi Temple was. You had all of the books from Ahch To, and perhaps it would give you the incentive to start training a new generation of Jedi. At least that was what the past leaders had been taunting you with. Poe finished up his tasks, delegating flight commands for new flight patterns, and finding better ways to get people to join the resistance.  “Why are people going to join a cause, in which there is no cause for anymore?” You questioned. 

Poe looking up from the hologram table, just the two of you left in the room.  “The Sith may be gone, and there may be ‘balance’ in the force. That doesn’t mean that all evil has been vanquished.” He returned. “What do you want Rey?” He paused. “You’ve got a look in your eye that I’m not sure I like, you’re about to tell me your going off on your own again, aren’t you?”

“I want to go to Naboo.” No hesitation this time, like the last time you wanted to leave. It was partially the reason you believed your request had been denied, not to mention it was only a few weeks after the defeat of the Sith.