#wehaveasay

I hate him. I'm not ready to be a mom. I'm 20 and still in school. While he is out hitting the bars I'm stuck at work. I hate that on my 21 I'm going to be home while he's probably out at the bars. I hate he was too selfish to respect my wishes. I don't know what I saw in him. But I can't leave, the baby needs a father. And if I left him, the baby wouldn't have a father. He knew I didn't want kids, but I couldn't say no to him. He pressured me, making me give in. I was weak and now I'm paying. You play adult games and you win adult prizes. I'm just done trying anymore. I'll never be able to provide the baby with a life it deserves. I don't want it to struggle like I have. I don't want it to hate me. I'm not ready to be a mom, yet society tells me I have to be. I will never get to be a normal 20 year-old. I'm going to probably struggle my whole life. And for what? To raise a baby that's probably going to hate me? I just wish what I wanted would have been respected. I never understood the intentions behind the women's march, but as I type this I finally understand; I just want my wishes, concerns, and choices to be respected. Something that wasn't done, causing me to be in this situation. Maybe if my choices and concerns would have been respected I wouldn't be in this situation.