#weed rules

Yesterday while i was roadie-ing a blunt with Ryan, i was thinking about something weird me and my friends used to do when we were younger. 

We always had to smoke in the car, like many teenagers in Iowa. At first when i started smoking around age 15 (i had tried weed before i was 15 but that was about the time i really got into it/got high from it) it was always in somebody else's car. I mainly only knew boys with cars, and they were all older- at least 17. So when the boys would come to pick up my friends and I to go smoke, they would just take us to one of their many "spots" that they'd already discovered, tested and proved to be a non-sketchy area long before they even met us. 

A couple months after I turned 16 my mom bought me my own car. 

That was a game changer. Now, instead of smoking with the boys & relying on them for their weed, them being old enough to buy the blunt and their knowledge of where to smoke at....it was just me and some other 16 year old girls.  Left to our own devices...we came up with a number of tactics to keep us on top of our stoner game and making sure we gave NOBODY i mean nobody  a good reason to think of us as less savvy for being "girl stoners".

We always had good weed. We had our own weed. We didn't let people short us (though our habits of robbing people did bring about some very negative karma for us a couple times). We'd sit outside the cigarette outlet asking people who fit our desired demographic to buy us blunts,usually it was an early to mid 20's black or white male who was alone and didn't look too church-y. I'll explain why we chose those factors in another post. Most importantly we didn't need anybody else to get high...so of course that includes being able to smoke on the go at any time whenever. I mean who wants to let another person in on the blunt just so we can use that persons' house? And since we were 16 we only knew about 3 people who had their own house/a house we could smoke in!

So what did we do? Easy : smoked in the car.  How did we do it? Not Easy : Rolling by teamwork, Roadie-ing the blunt, and when we weren't roadie-ing...we had to utilize the most infamous of tactics...Role Playing. 

Just like our blunt-buying market research and data collection, i'll explain the concept of team rolling and fully go over our roadie strategy at another time. But Role Playing must be explained now. 

Say you aren't going to roadie today. It's only wednesday, and you need to conserve gas until payday on friday. You still have to smoke in the car, because Haley's mom is already home from work and you didn't hustle fast enough to get out of 7th period to be able to smoke on her back porch. So it's time to hot-box. You head on over to the weird little housing development thats almost out of town. It's private property so you know the cops cant go there...unless a resident calls them.  

What's the best way to keep somebody from calling the cops on you ? Dont look so goddamnn suspicious. 

Think about it from a resident of the apartments we used to smoke at's point of view. 

Well, obviously it looks weird if there's just a full car of girls sitting in the parking lot of your apartment bulidings. It looks even weirder that they're just sitting in the car. If you're outside letting your dog out or taking out the trash, shouldn't that be long enough for one of these girls to at least open the car door and get out if they've just arrived? Or for them to drive away if they're leaving? It looks like they're just sitting in there, laughing, socializing and playing music like they're having a party. Or even worse, they're all just sitting in the car looking terrified staring straight ahead, and ...wait....one of them keeps looking back to see if you've gone inside? Seems like a pretty creepy cop-calling situation to me. 

So here's what we did to avoid the whole drawing-attention-to-ourselves-by-being-too-stationary thing. We drew attention to ourselves by looking as much as possible like we were in some kind of transition. Somebody comes out of their house, drives up, or god forbid the holy grail of stoner embarrassments : somebody parks RIGHT next to you while in mid-box, you just pretend you're busy. Somebody would say "fuck. Role Play" and immediately the blunt/pipe is down, two people start talking to each other. One girl gets on the phone asking for "mom are you there" or "hey were here come outside " (if you think you can be heard). You can shuffle through the glove box, change songs on your radio..anything to look like a normal group of girls that just moving slowly and procrastinating while still actually doing something,  cuz well...thats what girls do. 

Other good times to use Role Playing was when we'd be sitting in a parking lot rolling a blunt (Rule #573: Never roll up at the same place you're going to hotbox the car at. ) and somebody would park by us. Or when you're at the gas station waiting for the weed man. 

It's strange to think of how we were paranoid about being too idle...but then again its better safe than sorry. We just wanted to avoid anyone thinking things like "what are those girls doing" because those are questions that lead to "are they smoking weed right now"