C: We're collaborating on some poetry that you've written and combining that with some visuals that we’re creating together, and we've posted the first one and it's called Trust. What can you say about this?

B: A lot of the poems I've written are kind of a dialogue with my inner voice. Many were written at a time when I was going through a difficult time in my life, trying to make sense of what was going on. 

C: So this poem, Trust, what can you say about it?

B: "You catch me when I land on the moment your heart kicks in."  I guess what it is, is self-compassion. Giving yourself a break and not being so hard on yourself, knowing that, you have heart and that there's something in you that will always look out for you. 

C: That's a thing that's happened in your life... 

B: Yeah, there were times during the dark times of losing both parents in a short time period, going through a divorce, breakdowns, loss of employment etc., I kind of hit a bit of a low in my life. And when I would remember to go easy on myself it helped me keep going.  

C: That's good wisdom for all of us. 

B: It came from the fact that I had supportive people around me that were helping and caring for me at that time. Having that support allowed me to be able to reflect and actually practice self-compassion.

C: You discovered the power of a good support system.  

B: Yeah. And in the end I think you got to look out for yourself in a lot of ways but without the help of others that can be a lot more difficult.

C: What would you like people to know if they're going through hard times?

disclaimer: mind my English

diperuntukkan kepada forum We Discuss #5, ternyata sebanyak ini kalau otaknya udah bocor (kala itu takut diskusinya berkepanjangan)

 What is space and place?

It is a concept of dimension.

Space; is a dimension that can be filled. It can be filled, but it shouldn’t have to. It’s more like,

“hey, look at there. There’s still some space for your frame.”

“there’s not enough space at your hard disk”.

It’s a matter of fill. Even if the space is empty, it’s still a category of space; an empty space. That’s why they invent the “space bar” function; to add empty space.

Space is relating with member. With some kind of member, everything can build a space. Outer-space exist because we have a member at inner-space, and we found things out of our space then name it with space objects. If there were no stars twinkling be found, there’s no such thing as a dimension of outer-space; it’s just a dimension of nothingness – or would it called an empty space?

Back to the context of membership. The relation of each of its member could build a kind of space… Blah, i don’t know how to continue this part.

Place; is a dimension that has a specific function; a purpose; and everyone deal with it. A bathroom is a bathroom because we have a deal that that room is for bathing. Even the bathroom is not in use, — or in renovation; which is when the dimension lose its appearance— we still called that dimension ‘bathroom’. When you find a space in your living room walls – about 30x30cm – will you put a water faucet there? The space is possible, but then again the question is for what? What is the purpose a faucet being there, hanging awkwardly in your glamorous living room? Will my guest wash their hands at the glamorous living room? It is not a place to do that. They should wash their hands in the bathroom. The faucet placed there for that purpose.

A place could separate by amount of spaces, but a space doesn’t always need to be a place. A place will permanently related to functionality, but we always need something to filled in to build spaces from the empty space.

Private or public; it’s a matter of borders. What makes a private private? A private is a private because we feel it is not obliged to shared, although it could. Norms build the border line, an unwritten-unspokable-rule. We have a deal that it should be only mine; then it known as a norm, and the norm gives you a constraint – like a rule — about what you can & cannot do about the things we dealt it should be private. One side has a sense of belonging, and the others should appreciate it, respect about it, you named it.

What about a place like mall, cafe, is it a private or public place? It’s true that that places has an ownership, but the function is for served people. Because of its ownership, it has a rule due to context of ownership; and it has norms due to context of public purpose. Nothing said as a rule that you can’t walking barefoot at a mall, but the norms do not let you walking barefoot at public space – or place. For the cafe, I once met some couple had a meeting on a cafe, while there are some other customer – yeah, they were so many and noisy – held a hangout there at the same room (since a cafe doesn’t have kind of partition). The couple annoyed and getting angry “hey guys, can’t you see we have a meeting here?”. What suddenly comes to my mind is that “what’s your problem, ‘Coup? If you want some privacy don’t do a meeting at the place which serve everyone who deserve same services as well as you. Both of you are pay the bill for the same services. It’s all included in the menu cost.”. Yes, when it comes to a consumer’s view, buyers is the king. They can do most of anything could possible as long as they can pay the bill for the services; the business need the consumer’s money that they can exchange with services. It is more like the customers have the rights for all the facilities that cafe can offered, similar with the feeling of ownership, but with a thin line called law. The cafe is a public place with purpose to serve people, yet a private space for those who feel have the rights to be served at somewhere they could enjoy themselves – economically.

It suppose to be private when the only thing matter is yourself, but when it include an impact and response from the society – the existence of people – it become a public. When it’s private, it always about how the others respect to you, when it’s public, it always about how you respect to the others.

Home or House?

Take a closer look. Go deeper, to what the essential use for these words. When you say it was a home, probably because it has a deep connection with your heart. A feeling; feeling that gives you a comfort, an ideal, a suitable, place or space that so you. You can be you at home.

It always be “I love this place. It feels homey.”

It never always be “I love your apartment. Looks like housey.”

What? Is housey even a word? Adjective? Terms? Slank, like swag?

Maybe ‘Home is where the heart is’ is true. Home is about a place that touch your heart. It has memories. It affects your life, and your life affects that home. House may just refer to the building, some dimension that can be rent, prices always rise, it save you from the weather – not the world, the reality. No one brave enough to say “you should buy this home” as delevoper. No one can guarantee a house can be your home. And if you see how the use of the Home-and-House up there, you can take the word ‘home’ with your feeling, while you can take the word ‘house’ as a tangible thing that your senses can worked.

A house can be homey, but a home do not have to be housey.

“you should go home” but no “you should go to your house” – perhaps it refers to “your soul not belongs to this place anymore. Go somewhere that can makes you being you. It is a home, maybe its formed as your house, then go to your house.”

Have we agree about that – how we use those terms?

 Cyberspace

What so good about being cyber? It is true that the cyberspace is a world without boundaries, everyone could live in it. Almost every kind of explanation of almost everything you can find in cyberspace – on internet. It becomes phenomenon because everyone start called “Google is my God, I can find any answer on it.” Or “You think that you’ve talked to the God yet give you an answer? If it so, Googling it. It much faster.”. At some point we expect the social life is interesting. We mobilize ourself to find the truth, yet it’s tiring us. Then the 0-1 digital combination is expanding;exploding, and — boom!—here comes the era where we can see the world without going too much. We can attracted with people around the world with the cost of internet billing. We can gathered a massive amount of information just by a few motion of our finger – as simple as type it, tap it, zoom it, click it, drag it, copy here, copy there, post it here, rip it there, publish here, share it there. It can be saved, and can be retrieved anytime we want. But still, is that the interaction that we need?

In my opinion, it is true that we have something that ‘gathered’ us in cyberspace. When it comes to internet, I feel connected with others; but only that way. Exactly what the internet service offered – internet connection. They give us connection, but not even single platform on internet guarantee us – human; or netizen in their language – related.

Again, like the home-and-house case, there are motives for the use of these words. We can say that we’re connected because we are on the same line.

“now our minds are connected. We’re on the same page, aren’t we?”

Well, for me connected means that we shared what we agreed on some line, with all the difference, keep the origin and not to be blend. Just you being you and your unique differences, you may have a several role in that connectivity – such as an administrator, or else – but it wouldn’t change the uniqueness of the party of the connectivity. Yes, connecting means being a part of some connectivity – may I say network? – but it also easy to being apart without cause some side effect for the connectivity.

Connectivity is replaceable and disposable; easily.

Easily to being useless – as your Twitter followers, perhaps? – easy to be a common, “it is nothing wrong with us if  it’s not with you, you may existed but then so what?” for the sarcastic.

Relation is way more step ahead from connection, in my opinion. When it comes to relation, it feels like we have some kind of emotional attachment. You know each other, it’s more like you being a part of something else even just a bit. It has a lifeline within. What’s the point of being related? It is that you can be the other’s referral and vice versa. That’s why people can get statuses like relationship, membership, friendship, fellowship, scholarship, even internship – correct me if I wrong about the last two. We say a couple is in a relationship because the boy knows the girl more than anyone so we can ask the boy something about the girl and we believe the answers are approximately true– the boy can be her referral. Same thing goes on the other –ship.

When we are not related anymore, it feels like something’s missing. It is just like the engine is missing some parts, so that the engine can’t work well. Detachment that means try to erase something. Everyone dies and gone in existence, but the presence lives in our heart; the memories being kept in mind – should I blame the brain and the heart? Well, those two are what makes a humanoid a human. That is a relation.

 That is always a ‘relationship’, no one ever heard the use of ‘connectionship’. Wait, what? ‘connectionship’? Is that even a word? Has Shakespeare spoken that way? Is it just like housey? Yes, we think the same way. We’re probably on the same page. Our minds probably connected.

So, what is the good of being cyber then? The idea about live in social life that was made by system. When it comes to a system, that means your life always has two option; yes or no. The way a system worked always includes reducing errors. It has one step that after we decide something, they convinced us our choice. The system need us to consciously living in it. Meanwhile, reality keeps the brain and the heart useful, to keep us a humanoid a human. Digital world may give us an option to choose the life we live, but reality gives us consequences that will develop our life. Yes, your digital life is a monotone, unless the system being developed by the developer, but reality is not encrypted; you may delete the memories but the presence stand still. You will always be remembered as known as you were, not as a character that you set by a system. A band still wants a gig because they need an acknowledgement from people that they can share the ambience from the time they made the music, and it feels great. Cyberworld doesn’t runs our hormone as great as a band creates an animo to share their ambience. The rush of Dopamine is what makes us feels happy, not the rapid of data connection. We can’t sense the speed of data connection.

November 2013, after We Discuss #5