#wedding oops

I’ve been married twice. The first time, I had the whole hoopla; Catholic Mass, bridesmaids & groomsmen, reception, etc. A few days before, the ring bearer’s father told me his son had fallen & hit his head the night before. My poor little guy! Thankfully, it wasn’t too bad (it was bad *enough* that he’d been hurt!) but, as his dad explained, he needed stitches. The dad thought he should offer me the opportunity to withdraw him from participating -he didn’t really believe I was shallow, but he was leaving it in my hands. I’ve seen some ‘zillas who would probably have nixed him for fear of this showing up in the pictures. To them, I say…drop dead. If you’re worried about the appearance of someone in your bridal party more than their appearing, you have more than a few screws loose.

Another thing that may have sent some twits spiraling; just prior to Mass, one of my bridesmaids told me that one of the Unity candles had broken. Not the main one, but the one I would use to light the big one with my husband (or…wasband, now). Totally not a big deal. I asked if the little tapers that the altar boys use could be left for me instead. Yep. No problem. All is well in the kingdom of me. The bridesmaid had opened her bit of news with, “Now I don’t want you to get upset, but…”. Really, I thought she was going to tell me the groom had been seen highjacking my limo. In truth, my brother pointed out the nearest exits to him & told him they were unlocked. Still, he stayed. What a trooper.

My uncle read the second reading. In the Catholic Mass, this comes after (wait for it…) the first reading and the Responsorial Psalm. Uncha goofy went to the altar immediately after the first reader finished. This is why you shouldn’t have blown off the rehearsal, Uncha. You could’ve seen your cue in the program as well, but I digress. Didn’t throw a hissy, though. We all just smiled at him, uncomfortably standing on the altar through the FIVE VERSE PSALM I personally chose. See, back then I was a Cantor so I put a lot of emphasis on the music portion of the Mass -much to the chagrin of my less church-y loved ones, I now regret.

I loved every bit of my first wedding, the things that went to plan, the spontaneous whoopsies, everything. I never had to take a breath (or a drink) due to nerves. I was surrounded by my favorite humans and there were lots of laughs, some serendipitous moments and all of the things that needed to happen to get this Papist wed happened.

My second wedding took place on a beach. Just the minister, me & my guy, a witness & the minister’s husband who recorded it for us. This wasn’t because I didn’t want the same ceremony as the first. No, I thought I’d already done that and, in my opinion only, felt that asking everyone to participate/attend another for me might be seen by some as a gift-grab. I know my closest loved ones would have gone along with whatever I’d asked, but that was a little outside my comfort zone. We sent out announcements after we eloped (most of our friends & all of our family knew we were doing this ahead of time) and some sent gifts anyway. I wrote thank you cards the day each arrived -unlike my first where I very, very shamefully sat on that duty way too long. It’s been decades and I still cringe when I remember that severe faux pas.