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I got an office table - actually, this is more of a study table - and an office chair. I wanted to buy it so bad coz honestly, I’m trying to just divert my attention to something beautiful. Something that is pleasing to my eyes. It served its purpose tbh but only for a while. I’m seated here about to go back to work and I suddenly felt my heart got heavy again.

I grew tired of feeling this way. It’s been like this for almost 2 years now. A year ago, I promised myself that I’ll make it up for her, for her birthday. I have plans actually. I will celebrate coz I know my life is worth celebrating and I won’t let my past take that away from me.

It’s 6 days before my birthday. I know my heart still has time to recover before I celebrate my 35th. I have always believed in miracles and I know my miracle is about to come. Just in time for my 35th. Nope, it’s not her anymore. I am done with being disrespected. I am not allowing myself to go down that ugly road again.

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I ask you to pray for those who are going through struggles that are too painful to share. Those whose words and tears aren't enough to express the agony they're in. The silent warriors fighting their own silent battles. Those who fought so hard to remain hopeful only for their hopes to be stepped on. Those who tried to build themselves with whatever's left of them only to be broken again. Those who tried to give light even if they're still in the darkness. Pray for them. Pray for their hearts. Pray for their healing.

But if you're the one struggling, please do not lose that grip. I know you're exhausted. I know you're feeling hopeless and helpless. I know you feel alone even when you're surrounded by people. Hang in there. We may not see it yet. It may be hard to look for something to hope for. But know that there is light at the end of this long, dark, frightening tunnel. You just have to believe.

#wearythoughts #ECQDiaries #scribbles #mental health #bekind