I dont think anyone is gonna care about this, but im proud of myself so imma talk about it, i cleaned my room for the first time in three months today! Well i didnt finish, but my clothes are in my drawers and i can see my desk and i can walk on the floor without steping on something and i took out the trash!
And it was so weird for a bit after i was done, beacuse i felt so proud for doing something so simple. And then i felt mad at myself BEACUSE it was so simple, and then i remembered something. It wasnt. For three months it wasnt simple, beacuse its not just cleaning my room, its getting up from my bed, it swalking and picking things up and moving around, and for a long time now, that wasnt simple, it wasnt simple, beacuse i was tired and sad and lost and just wanted to lay and sleep and maybe never wake up. And thats the thing! I got up! I got up and cleaned some of my room and i walked and i listened to music and for a bit i was fine.
And thats the point! Im proud of myself, not beacuse i did something simple, but beacuse i did a hundred litle things that are hard for me right now.
And if you did something today, that you find hard to do, regardles of how small or simple it is, then i am proud of you to! I am proud that you got out of bed! I am proud that you ate something! I am proud that you walked around! I am proud that you cleaned up something, even if you didnt finish! I am so proud of you! Beacuse you did it! And thats all that counts :)
