The crux of the creation of waverose really was just me reading and reading and being incredibly mad that nobody was really like. There for him emotionally on a consistent basis. Like obviously yeah he has Melvin and yeah he has his students but 1) you can’t put the burden of emotional support on your students, that’s not appropriate 2) Melvin is really just one guy and he has limited things he can do... I wanted to like. Somehow put my feelings into Reality somehow. Not reality-reality but at least to conceptualize like what would it be like if I Was there for him and what would I say to him. How would I talk to him. What conversations would we have. How could I convey to him that I didn’t think what he was trying to prove was something he had to throw his life away for, how could I convey to him that there was something beyond living for the legacy of a 2300 year old man... how could I tell him that he was worth living because he was just an interesting person. How could I tell him that it was okay for him to just be himself, as Waver Velvet, and not as a Lord or as anyone’s retainer. I didn’t want him to keep holding himself up to that legacy because I know how crushing that can be when that’s all you have. I wanted to give him something more than that. I wanted to be there for him on a day-to-day basis and to listen to him and to talk to him and to comfort him and advise him when I notice him doing something that’s leading him down an ultimately self-destructive path. There’s no nobility in trying to prove that you weren’t worthy enough, or that you have to become worthy. And that man has long since left his mark on this earth in an incredible way. You don’t have to hold that on your shoulders. It’s meant as a courtesy. You are not the sole vassal of Alexander, the sole person who could know how he was and how he acts and how he is. Please trust me when I say that. <--- Something like that. I was just frustrated at the idea that his whole self-worth revolved around Alexander. His whole self revolved around Alexander. And Alexander is a dead man. He has been dead forever. He isn’t coming back. A lot of CF is about grieving and working through and accepting that fact. There are a lot of lessons about moving forward through pain and about looking at the bigger picture as well. I know Melvin is about to see that there is more to Waver than just the legacy of Alexander imparted onto him. I know Gray and the rest of his students can see it, too. I know Camus can see it as well. A lot of people can see it. To the point where people ask themselves “just what did he see in that war” when they see how heavily affected he is. 

I SEE THE VOTES ON THAT POST okay fine whatever. extremely indulgent waver on my lap pov shot that had turned into a values study under the cut. slightly nsfw and extremely evil