#wanted actually

He looks real,

He feels real,

He talks just as I remember-

How could this be fake?

How could I simply be imagining things?

Is my mind truly that cruel?

How could this part of my life,

This piece of my world,

This precious person,

Simply be a lie?

What is there to gain?

My wilting soul twists,

My troubled thoughts race.

My own mind turned against me-

A roaring animal

Towering over me

Taunting me with dull eyes,

And pretend feelings.

Claws digging into my soul,

Plucking my heartstrings out of my chest,

As if they were delicate flower petals.

Questions line my tattered thoughts

Guarded walls,

choking me with crumbling stone and chalk clouded air.

Am I real?

How do I know who to trust anymore?

Maybe this is all just one big game,

A prank played on me?

There's a chance,

It's fake,

Just as there's

A chance

It's real.

My hands,

My ears,

My nose,

My eyes,

They all feel real,

Feel like me.

Theres a chance, i think,

An anxious beast in my brain

Telling me that my body is fake.

That I'll wake up

And never have existed.

Is this how he feels?

Stuck between the nothingness of imagination

And an endless worry?

Would moving on be too cruel?

Give up his name and forsake his memory?

Should I wipe his tangerine fur

And bright amber eyes

From my mind?

My memory?

Should I truly forget?

Let go?

Would he be hurt,

If he was here?

Watching me lay

Staring at the ceiling,