hi. long time no speak. hope everyone’s doing well. just here to say apparently being out (of the closet) is a liberating experience. who woulda thought. oh the jokes i have cracked. that’s all. happy week ahead to anyone who needs it 🌞🌷💗

i shed actual tears for artemis ii at least twice a day. the trip that made it out the group chat and the planet. fuck me man. four silly ole peeps got me wanting to be an astronaut again.

it wasn’t your job to wipe away the tears. it wasn’t your job to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, but you did, and you have been since you were little. it was never your job to fill the shoes everyone else left empty in their life. it was never your responsibility to be the one true constant — the only constant, in their life. they made you the sun, but you never asked to shine as brightly as you did. you were just a child eager to be loved and feel loved and give love. but they revolve around you now. you can see that as an adult. you didn’t as a child. you didn’t understand why everything was always so heavy then, always so rooted in someone else’s trauma and pain at the expense and overshadowing of your own. they made you their sun before you could protest, before you could push back, before you could even stand on your own two feet. but the sun is just a hot ball of gas, the sun doesn’t have feelings, or emotions, or a life that goes on outside of everything else. you cannot continue to try to be something that doesn’t share the same depth as you, sweetheart. it’s not your responsibility to shine endless light and heat on the coldest places of them. it was never your responsibility. i’m so sorry that you were made to feel like it was. they should’ve been the sun. the bright and hopeful constant that touched the darkest places of you, but instead you sat alone, because after all, nothing shines on the sun itself. they outcasted you to the depths of space where time stands still and there’s no gravity to ground you, but you can find your way back down. you can stop sharing your light with everyone who never deserved it, and should’ve never asked for it in the first place. you’re not the sun, angel. you’re just somebody’s baby. and everyone’s baby deserves a chance to live for themselves, not the survival of others. live for you. live for the little one inside of you that stifled her own feelings to remain that source of unwavering light even when you wanted to cry and scream and break things. it was never your job, and it’s still not your job. it’s okay to be tired. it’s okay to be done. you’ve had the weight of the universe on your shoulders since you came into this world, but it’s time to take a step back. it’s time to put you first.