#wallmans

Be fierce

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Comment: larssoli said "Løper #Holmenkollstafetten for #Wallmans i dag! #tøyenkatusha #wallmansoslo #run #running #runner #oslo"  

so i don't know how many people know this, but i was on an audition for wallmans today, starting 1000 and finishing 1700, and oh my god. that is one of the most nerve-wracking experiences i've ever had. there were about 30 of us in the first group and we all had a shared dance audition - those of us who had signed up for song or all-round - and jesus christ. the pace was so fast. i learned maybe a quarter of the dance. i had no chance of keeping up. luckily i wasn't the only one struggling, but it was HORRIBLE to feel so incompetent. then at last they said, 'if you don't know the dance now, don't worry about it, just keep eye-contact and feel the song'. so i did, and basically just free-styled a whole bunch of stuff, and when i was waiting for a final dance group with just me and two other people, one of the judges came to me and said, 'don't worry about the dance - when you concentrate you lose your energy. you have very good energy and a good look in your eyes. so just focus on that.' so that was a bit of a boost, and i basically just... tried to pretend i knew what i was doing. but wow. that was scary. then, the most painful part, waiting for almost FIVE HOURS until i could do my song audition, in which i drove back and forth between my mom and oslo, and i just got more and more anxious as time went by. i came back an hour before my audition and heard all these voices practicing and belting and being GOOD and i'm like 'okay, okay, just remember to breathe', and basically when it was my turn i just blanked. i followed the pianist to a place behind the scene where we would go through the song, and OF COURSE i have managed to buy notes that are way way higher than the actual version i've practiced ahahahaha. hah. so when it was my turn, i just sang along and forgot about uuuhhh. maybe half the song? i just skipped tons of lines in both verses, and when we came out the pianist looked at me and said, 'how nervous were you, from 1 to 10?' and i just thought, wow don't be a douchebag about it. but smiled and said, 'uh, pretty nervous.' and he said, 'a word of advice - choose a song you know better next time.' and then he just glared at me and left. haha. hahaha. jerk. SO YEAH wow i'm still not over this and i'm gonna take a long fucking shower and just ... urdfvjhdsvjfhsvjd. but i got through the day. i'm still alive. so i'm gonna make a cup of something warm and just calm down a bit.