#wallendawalk

As with most productions, there is a lot of waiting around for your cue. This is where the falling happened. I fell hard and fast. I didn't try to hold back, not even a little bit. That's what you do when you're fourteen and invincible, isn't it? We talked the waiting time away in his car (with the doors open so as not to worry the 'rents) that was parked in the grass of the make-shift back stage of the church yard . I don't remember much of what we talked about, but I do remember falling for every word he said hook, line, and sinker. Not implying he was ever dubious or conniving, just that it didn't matter what he said, I was smitten. 

His car always smelled like Doublemint gum and Tommy Hilfiger cologne. We had AOL instant messenger dates. We paged each other with secret beeper number-code messages (remember this is pre text message days). Beepers?(1) Really? I. Am. Old. He some how managed to figure out the title and artist of my favorite song (pre shazaam days) and bought me the record, even though the only time I had ever heard the song other than on his car radio (radio djs are never any help are they?) was in an Applebee's. I still giggle a bit every time I hear Summertime by The Sundays. He welcomed me into his group of friends who were all a few years older, (which made me feel oh so cool) and who are, to this day, people I still consider dear friends of mine. He told me I was pretty and whispered sweet nothings into the telephone. You know, all the stuff that the first part of a Molly Ringwald movie is made of. Infatuation… loads of it, and not a single ounce of physical contact save for a lot of full-on drawn out hugs good bye. But that's saying a lot considering we were well trained by our church to only engage in "side - hugs" as opposed to "full frontal hugs" (<-- joke >.<) because it was less likely to stir up un-godly desires in the opposite sex or something dumb like that. And then came the last one of those kinds of hugs. 

This flirtation courtship lasted a month or two before it was time for him to leave again on another one of his trips with his family and their world-renowned circus act. We said good bye to each other with another one of those drawn out, heart pounding, I'm-saying-something-by-holding-on-a-second-longer embraces and a promise that we would miss each other a lot. He called me a few times when he could while on the road, but it was on that trip that he would meet his future wife, the super talented and all-around bad ass: Erendira (Allow me to pause for a moment and just tell you that she is a goddess of radditute. Love that gal). So as you may have guessed, it was on his return that I got my first taste of that precious rite of passage that comes with your teens. 

As a child, you're handed this beating, fist sized and fragile life force. You toss it up once or twice, and nothing happens. Then one day you lose your grip and drop it. Only when it hits the floor of your stomach do you fully realize the respect and care you should have given it in the first place, the kind they told you to give it, but never listened. Only then do you vow to remember that pain, take note of your wrong calculations, and step lightly from that point forward. It's something you take with you for life. No one ever forgets their first heart break and I'll never forget mine. I may not have been a milestone in his life, but he definitely was in mine and I'm ok with that. Isn't that always how the story goes anyway?

As is expected when first taking off the emotional training wheels, it took some time for me to get over it (and boy did I let everyone know how tough it was on me >.<), but in the end we all stayed friends. I'd even venture to say that years later I came to regard him along with some of his/ our guy friends as the sort of big brother types that a girl could count on should the need arise. And trust me, back then the messes I got myself in were endless (what's changed?). I'm pretty sure each one of those boys had a hand in keeping me from walking into one disaster or another. One of these protectors in particular (ehem Joe) definitely saved me from flunking high school. No question.

When my mother called me today to remind me about the ABC special on TV covering Nik's Niagra walk she said, "Isn't that exciting? Didn't you guys date or something?" And I wasn't sure how to answer that. Even though this encounter was quite a milestone in my life, you can probably see why it would be difficult for me to consider him an "ex". Beside the fact that we never kissed, or even held hands for that matter… In addition to it being a bit of an odd idea for me to think of my present pal as the same boy from my past… beyond all that, truth be told, I never really did reach that official "girlfriend" status. Prior to his meeting Erendira, I think the church, my scary-protective family, and our age difference (14 and 18) may have played a role in that, but who knows. What I do know is, in those few short weeks/ months Nik had said a lot of sweet and charming things to me, but one thing lingered in my head much longer than all the others. He said, "One day I'll take you up there. I've taken all my girlfriends up there." You see, he had taken each one of his girlfriends at some point during their relationship, planted them on his shoulders, and walked them across the wire. Thanks to my presumptuous teenage nature, when he said this, I had eagerly taken it to mean he was planning to date me. Which leads me to the only regret I have of the whole ordeal. I don't regret not getting the chance to date him. I don't even regret a single second of the heart ache that followed, not the confusion that comes with those first unwieldy, broken-heart recoveries. I don't even regret how foolish I was to give my heart so willingly, freely and easily with out an ounce of caution. Nope. Not even close. No, friends, I have very few regrets in my life, but one thing I regret, without question, is never getting the chance to go up on that dang high wire. *Le Sigh... ;)

"I'd walk the wire for you," he said. Well, tonight I watch as he walks the wire for you, for me, his family, America, Canada, the world and of course himself. And I couldn't be more excited to see him attain his dreams.

Click here to watch the ABC TV special rerun