#walkingandthinking

Lois, you are perfect!

You came into this world without too much of a hitch. I was so apprehensive about having a baby that I was doubtful how I'd feel in that moment you were handed to me... or in the days and weeks after.

I knew I wanted a family. I could see our life in the future; family gatherings, me helping you with your homework and holidays together. I could see us talking about your life, jobs and ambitions. What I couldn’t see was a baby in my arms and knowing what to do. Knowing how to soothe you when you were upset, how to hold you, how to change you, how to feed you. I felt I’d be able to guide you in being a good person but, the day-to-day stuff that comes with having a baby, I felt it to be the impossible.

Then you were handed to me at 11.52pm on the 28th May. From that amazing moment, it just felt perfect. Natural. Normal even. I’m not saying it felt like a baby manual had just downloaded in my brain, I just felt that as you arrived, so did my confidence to figure it out... even with the many inevitable bumps along the way.

It’s these bumps I now think about. Who knows what will arise. So much stuff can happen in life it’s hard to know what challenges you, we, will encounter. Your future’s not for me to deicide. You’ll make your own decisions and figure out your own path. However, as your Mum, it’s my role to help guide you to make good decisions.

We are given one shot, Lois. Life is short. And because of this I have decided to write down some of my thoughts, my musings for your life, in hope that you will make smart decisions that lead to nothing but your happiness.

I love you more than these words will ever describe.