You're wow

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Have you applied? Sjsu isn’t that hard to get into at all! I got in and sometimes I think I shouldn’t have lol

5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

I love my birthday, because it’s smack in the middle of fall, but when you’re in school it’s the worst, because everyone is on break and you can’t really do anything with your friends because they’re all spending mandatory family time. That being said, I’ve never been like a big birthday party person. However, I do remember, when I was 12, I had this birthday dress up party, with just my friends and I got this beautiful dark green, blue and black crushed velvet dress from Limited Too (omg) because even back then I was emo. We got to play dress up and my mom did my hair—we had this nice dinner my mom made and drank a lot of sparking cider, then watched LOTR. Of course. 

11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

When I was in middle school, I kept having these recurring dreams where the president mandated that all kids above the age of like 13 had to get married immediately, and to who their parents agreed to have them marry. My husband was interchangeable with whoever I had a crush on at that time, and I would wear like  a red dress and like, have to be rescued from a giant raft in raging rapids. After saving me, my crush would fall madly in love and our parents would rejoyce. That’s super fucked up, now that I’m actually articulating it. 

37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

I thought I was in love with one of my exes from High School. He was such a “bad boy” and we met right at a transitory time in my life, when I was growing up and leaving high school. We were prom dates and the first boy I actually thought about sleeping with, not that it ever got that far. He was emotionally disconnected and in love with someone else. I thought I was going to just die when we broke up (after like a month and a half). I needed to be in love with him to justify the disappointment I felt at being left. It fucked me up for months and months—I couldn’t even date this really nice boy because I convinced myself that I still loved my ex. But when I did actually fall in love, I realized that I was really just infatuated. There’s no denying I had very intense feelings for this person, but it wasn’t love as much as the catalyst for me to confront much of my personal insecurities about my body, sexuality, and who I thought I wanted to be as I left my childhood home.

39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.