#vvariiable

i 6eg to differ. if i'd left you would have worried your sorry ass a6out me and it's disgusting.

i'm good. i'm okay now.

i'm going home and i want you to stop fucking worrying. you're not my lusus. you only cared for some o6scure reason that pro6a6ly relates to morals or something so, now, the two of us can get over this mutual pity party and i'm going hive.

Of course he had to come home at the least opportune time. Literally the worst time! The worst of the worst of the worst. Just in the middle of singing, god forbid, you would have clocked him in the face on sight. But it had to be this song. This fucking song. 

Thank god at least he's sort of loud coming in. As much as you would never admit it (ever,) The quiet bit had always made you tear up. Every time. All of the times. And it plays. And it's the only sound in the room as the two of you stand frozen, fish fins and dual ears twitching. And he's holding takeout. He's stunned. 

When you go Would you have the guts To say--

A thin beam of psionics sentences the speakers to a wispy, steamy demise. You will not cry. Not in front of him. He's seen enough of your weak side, as much as you hate him for it. You hate that he won't make a move. You hate that he won't say something instead of just letting this pusher snapping silence reign supreme. Every muscle screams for action, to make evasive kick-ass moves and wave a not so forlorn goodbye to this detested hive. 

"This didn't happen." You finally snarl. "None of it! You didn't hear me, signing, you didn't see me, like this, and for the love of fuck you did not hear that song ever in your miserable excuse for a life. Do you understand me, Ampora??????"

"No."

In that moment, you almost shatter. Almost crumble. A twisted tango is wrapping your organs up inside of you, choking, screaming, until the buzz around your hands reminds you. You can handle this.

"What."

"I don't understand." Why the Hell is he so calm, why didn't his expression go to anything else after that brief moment of surprise--

"I don't understand because nothing happened. Do you want take out? It's Chinese this time. The lines for sushi are unbelievable on Fridays." Like that, easy as anything he's sitting down and pulling out some weird-ass stick duo thing. Compliance doesn't seem natural on him. For once in your life, Sollux Ampora is doing exactly as you said. Like that, every ounce of coiled anger dissipates, you're weak on your feet, and you stumble to the table. 

"Sure. Whatever." 

Meals had always been a solitary affair. Fuck if your lusus could be bothered to eat unless it was bee honeycomb. Silence became your mealtime companion, but it couldn't hold a candle to this stillness. Not a word passes between the two of you. It's been an entire sweep since you shared a meal with another troll.