#vsdl

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I know that like me you often wonder: What is former SAG and non-Governor Ken Cuccinelli up to these days?

Because it is important to keep tabs on demented weasel fuckers. You do not want Ken sneaking up on you. Eww. Anyway, if you guessed he completed his metamorphosis into a gelid splat of vomit ... You were close:

… “A legal retainer with Virginia Self Defense Law costs as little as $8.33 a month — less than half the cost of a hunting license,” the firm’s Web site says. “Don’t be a victim! Don’t let these realities become your family’s fiscal nightmare!”

For that price, the firm promises to defend clients facing firearms charges stemming from an act of self defense and those who have been “harassed by law enforcement for lawfully carrying their weapon.”… [emphasis mine]

I actually hope this catches on. Every dollar that some paranoid SIG licker is paying to a professional goat poker like Ken is a dollar he doesn't have for the eleventy thousand other things conservative douchenozzles want him to spend it on.

And based on the wording of the ad, there's a few ways this scam could work. One is the law firm gets cute with the definition of self defense. "Well yes Mr. Glockenspiel, you say it was self-defense, but that can only really be decided by a jury of your peers. So if you're found not guilty, you won't have to pay us a dime..."

The other is to restrict their help to firearms charges. "No, no, no, Mr. Walther, you've been charged with two counts of murder. If they'd included something about unlawful discharge of a firearm in a church, we'd be able to help you. Byeeeee."

Or both of the above.