#vodkadiary

So many new interactions these days. At times I feel like I’m on cloud 9 because the social side of myself is being fed generously. 

And then, night comes.

When the sky fades to black and the only thing keeping me up is my mind dancing around fears, mingling with dreams and trying it’s best not to fall prey to loneliness, I am at once reawakened to the reality that as much as I need energetic rays of other humans, being alone is nothing to be ashamed of. 

Last Saturday I drank two glasses of wine before I could get to the door. Before I knew it, I was suppose to be sitting across from a man who I had only heard about over conversation and read about over coffee, donning sleepy eyes with a touch of eagerness to get his attention somehow. 

The plight most women have when escaping the realms of their slight loneliness only to find the man too perfect or the boy too meek seems to be an epidemic. I mention this because it resonates with the negative thinking most ladies my age carry around in their purse, knocking into the lip gloss and condoms. 

Gaining inspiration versus a return-text is far more valuable, attainable and rewarding than a silly notion created in the mind to dull the uncomfortable solitude. 

I must remember this rapid ascent into pure self-confidence and sureness. Despite my previous lack of enthusiasm, I'm ready to approach a goal that is slightly abstract than it is recognizably crazy. 

Sincerely,