#vnc 54

Seeing how in the latest chapter we have seen Dominique have conversations with her younger self, in which ones her younger self seems to express her inner emotions, and Dominique refutes them constantly because she doesn’t identify with them or just doesn’t want to hurt or be bad to anybody.

With my psychologist we lalety have been talking about treating the wounds of the inner child. How sometimes the way we act or feel are just our inner child coming through with the pain we endured and neglected and therefore never healed. The inner child you can ignore for so long, but will come back to you.

Seeing how young Dominique talks through her pain, talks about “Jeanne being in the way” “hating her”, while Dominique refutes her, knowing that Jeanne is a dear friend. It’s amazing, the way Dominique seems to be fighting with the emotions caused by pain of her inner child with the reason she has learned growing up. And what I’ve learned in with my psychologist, is that when our inner child acts up, we need to take calm and talk to them with patience. The same way Dominique hugs her, and refutes her over and over again. It’s amazing.

And seeing little Louis there, and the way he said “our name”, I can’t help but think that maybe it isn’t Louis (again this is not a theory, just my thoughts) but maybe it is the version of Louis she tried to be all those years. Because we know she felt useless, and with the adoration (and jealousy) she may felt for him, when he was gone, she thought the only way to exist was to fill what was left from her brother, being like him.

So I assume Dominique has not have the time to realize who she truly is. Who she is outside of her family, who she is outside of Louis shadow, who she is outside of the pain of her childhood, who she is outside of her own self hatred. The self hatred that has not allowed her to see herself as a person and one worthy of being here. So she hides her pain, dresses as her brother, and tries her best to compensate her existence, helping Noé in everything she can. The only person she has left, the one she doesn’t want to disappoint. Because she doesn’t know that he loves her for the simple fact of being her, not for what she can offer or what person she tries to be.

So I believe Dominique is dealing with the pain of her wounded inner child, the version of Louis she created and tried to be, and herself, the person she hates the most and yet doesn’t know at all.

Me:

VnC 54, VnC 54! Dominique starts to pull herself together; Mikhail continues to fall apart, culminating in the source of his power, his Book of Vanitas, spewing out black smoke when he attempts to use it to kill Noé, Domi, Jeanne, and possibly Vanitas. What’s going on?

The smoke coming out of the Book reminds me of that smoke that always surrounds Naenia. Maybe the Book’s malfunctioning has something to do with that? We know Naenia is (probably) connected with Luna, but we never see that strange smoke around Luna. And, come to think of it, we don’t see smoke around the “stabilized” version of Naenia either— just the unstabilized, smoky version.

Maybe the Book of Vanitas is becoming unstable for some reason, blurring the lines between the real world and the world of formulas. Maybe this’ll be the end of our newly introduced second book of Vanitas? (this destabilization thing could also work as a way to wind up for a senate arc where Chloé returns, but I can’t tell if that’s actually a theory or just my brain coming up with crack excuses for an arc i just really want to see happen)

If Mikhail’s Book of Vanitas is indeed unstabilizing, it follows to ask… why? Maybe the Book is being acted on by some outside force, and Naenia’s about to show up? Or maybe the Book is unstabilizing itself thanks to some built in protocol. Maybe the Books can’t be used to hurt other Kin of the Blue Moon, or can’t be used with murderous intent towards humans? Maybe the Book can sense and respond to its user’s mental and physical abilities, and Mikhail’s deteriorating emotional state led to the book becoming unstable as well? Or maybe /waves arms in classic theorist fashion/ something else entirely?

Either way, I’m sure we’ll find out in the next chapter!

Fun Fact:

On the cover of VnC Book 9, Mikhail is looking away from Butterfly Noé, completely ignoring his existence. During this chapter he does something very similar— he doesn’t respond to Noé once, and even talks about Noé like he isn’t there. Vanitas is knocked out this chapter, and he’s also unconscious on the cover of Book 9. With all the similarities between the cover and these chapters… maybe next chapter we’ll finally learn who or what Mikhail’s grinning at..!