#vletters

Dear Vince,

Hey. I know it's been a minute, but just so you know, it wasn't anything personal or on purpose. I tried calling after it happened, but I just couldn't work up the courage to tell you over the phone, so I'm doing it in a letter. It's more pussy, I know, but it's the best I got. I had a heart attack a few weeks ago. Now before you start breaking down walls, it was a mild one and I'm fine..well after a little surgery to remove some blockage. I was taking steroids for a while, trying to keep up with workouts and everything. This athlete shit's a lot harder for somebody like me to keep up with, compared to guys who have been doing this since they were like 5 and pushed at it by their asshole dads trying to live through their kids or moms looking for their kid to be their meal ticket. But I'm getting that it was still no excuse. I stopped a while ago, but the damage was done to my heart. I got into a..kinda fight with Drew Torres, he hit my chest and that basically caused it. But don't blame him, alright? If it wasn't him, it could have been something pushing down on my chest too hard. It's nobody fault but mine. Hell, if anything, he saved my life, stayed there until the ambulance came and called Vanessa. Lucky stuff. I feel..different since then. I keep to myself, unless Lola wants to hang out (and we'll talk about that situation more when I see you in person again, heh), and I'm just trying to get back to normal. But laying in that hospital bed, I just felt like I could have really died. How do you go back to being normal after that? I swear, I heard mom's voice before I passed out and it was like..calming. Like I wasn't scared to die if I had to. Maybe that's a good thing? I'm not sure... Aunt V was pissed and upset..but I told her how I was feeling and why I did what I did, so she decided if I saw a therapist once a week for a bit, she'd be at ease again. I'm going on Saturday, but man, that all seems like crap to me. I don't need somebody that hasn't seen the shit I've seen poking around in my head. I'll try to fake it, but who knows. Ugh, it sucks. Kinda spooked Jaden some..so I'll try to do less of that for the kid's sake. Anyway, this is getting kinda long so I'll wrap it up. I'll see you soon man, and don't be acting all pussy on me handling me like I'm made of glass or something. I'm still T, man. Always. 

See you soon, your bro:

Dear Vince,

Sup? I know it’s been a while, and I know we’re long overdue for us to talk. But man, I hate cramped spaces and I really hate jails. And I know you do too, which is why it’s gonna really suck for me to see you in there. I don’t know when I’ll be ready for it, but I promise I’ll come see you soon. But for now, I think writing is gonna be the best way for us to talk until then.

So..first things first, I wish I was writing this over Aunt Viv’s house, but I’m stuck at this lame ass cabin thing for school. I’m also locked in a room with that asshole Baker because we fought. I won, natch. I’ll send you a pic of his eye. I’m on probation, so hopefully this doesn’t bite me in the ass, but he really grinds my gears. It fucking sucks his pasty white ass is out here doing whatever the hell he wants scott free, and I’m on thin ice and you’re in there. Maybe that’s why I beat his ass. I don’t know, people think I should just let it go, but why should I? Hell I tried that with Novak, but at the end of the day they’re both still rats.

Oh yeah, I’m an athlete! Yeah yeah, I know you’re probably calling me a meathead jock in your head, but hear me out. I always dug football and ladies dig the jacket. Vanessa’s baby daddy Houston isn’t even all that bad once you get to know him either. Speaking of V, she’s good. Hope she writes or visits you too, you guys had a lot of, stuff. Aunt and Uncle are cool, little cousins alright, little Jaden just needs a little push in the right direction. Little dude doesn’t need to take the path we took. But looking back? I don’t regret a lot of it. We had some scary times, but we had some real good times, just you and me.

Well, my hand’s got blisters from Baker’s face, so I’m gonna wrap this up. I got a lot more that I need to talk about, but I’m gonna save that for next time. Pray Aunt Viv doesn’t kill me for getting in trouble alright?

Your little bro,

Dear Vanessa Anne Hudgens,

I loved sucker punch, and it was amazing to see you play a badass character like Blondie. I begged my mum to let me watch the movie the first day it came out, and then we went to see it. It was slightly confusing at first, but as soon as I saw you I smiled. It was so weird to see you in a role like that, but I loved it. You should be in more films like sucker punch. Anyway, then when you cried, I cried. I knew it was only acting but you fake cried so believable, more believable then anyone I'd ever seen before. I didn't like to see you cry, fake or not. I loved seeing you kick ass, and I loved the scenes with the other characters, when you were in Babydoll's imagination. I really loved your character, and how she could be quite blond sometimes. It was a realistic character, yet being so different from anyone I'd seen before. So when you got shoot, I cried my eyes out. I spent the rest of the movie wishing you to come back, and hating the person who shoot you. I really loved the movie, you have to do more films like this!

Love,

Dear Vanessa Anne Hudgens,

You will never know how much these albums saved me. Whenever I was down, all I had to do was plug in my earphones, turn up the volume and listen to your voice. It was like you were speaking to me, telling me to be strong. So you made me strong. Gone with the wind I always listen to, to remind myself that I can be myself, yet still be happy being myself. Whatever will be is a life lesson, that I have finally learnt, thanks to you. It's all thanks to you. Every song has a certain meaning in my life, relating to you in most cases. Hearing songs like "Drive", I cried the first time I heard it. Because it was you saying you couldn't take it, that's what I saw it as. But then you said you were moving on, that you just wanted to leave it behind, and I was happy again. Your music always makes me dance, and be happy. Thank you for encouraging me to be strong, and I will forever owe you for that.

Love,

Dear Vanessa Anne Hudgens,

Many people have told me they dislike your new hair. Many people have asked why you cut your hair. But it's because of your dedication to your acting, and for your role in Gimme Shelter. Tell them that, but they still won't listen. I miss your locks Vanessa, but I know you do too. But just look at your Hurley Walk the walk photos, it shows how beautiful your long hair can be. I hope this has proved to people you're not shallow, but a dedicated actress. Vanessa, I think you could look beautiful anyways. You always look gorgeous, because you're just genuinely a beautiful person in your personality. But yet everything about you is beautiful. You are always beautiful to me, Vanessa.

Love,