#vivwrites

chapters 1 | 2

pairing jungkook x fem reader

synopsis a continuation of love lost part one, ie the events leading up to part one taking place -> when jungkook proposes that you take part in a threesome you're caught off guard and deny his proposal, but you know and he knows you’ll eventually give in.

warnings jungkook is BEYOND scummy in this one, coercion, cheating, LOTS of talk about sex (this is not an exaggeration,) threesome, sexual manipulation, smut, failed attempt to force a threesome, brief sexual assault(?) (it was an unexpected kiss that was not much appreciated nor liked,) insecure y/n, same sex sex scenes, smut, angsty if you squint, hoseokishere, namjoonishereaswell, dead dove do not eat !!!!

read me finally spun back to this one ! part one and two can be read as a stand alones, this is 20k words… please leave a like/note and or comment lastly... ENJOY !

You sighed in relief as you finally pushed open your front door, you’d been struggling for a few minutes to press the correct keypad input with your hands full. Once the wooden door swung open, you were ready to drop the heavy bags into the opening to relieve the burning ache from your hands, pausing when you see Jungkook sitting there putting on his shoes. Frowning you stepped over him, he didn’t acknowledge busy with his other shoe. “Are you going out? It’s late.” You called out to him, hastily putting the warm milk into the fridge, if you were lucky the milk wouldn’t spoil. It's not your fault. Summer was quickly fading into fall, the temperature drops came faster than expected and you were not prepared for it. The milk had to pay the price for your unreadiness as did your gas, due to the heat in your car blasting the entire way home.

“Yeah, me and the guys are gonna grab a bite at Choi’s.” He replies standing to his full height he pats his pockets double checking he has everything.

You pause, letting the fridge door slide closed, “Choi’s?” You scoff, reminiscent of a laugh, “babe where are you getting Choi money from?” You question staring at him through your kitchen window. “don’t tell me your idol career came back to life.” You snigger behind your hand as he flips you off. “No, but seriously, you can’t eat out at Choi’s, Jungkook.” You tell him, resuming your actions of putting the groceries away.

“Baby, it's just a one time thing, I’ll be right back.”

“Jungkook, I’m not kidding around. We barely have the money to pay to live in this apartment and you want to go eat at a high restaurant? Are you insane?” He sighs, closing his eyes.

“Why do you always do this?” He mumbles, but you hear him just fine.

You ignore the clear annoyance in his tone and instead ask, “Do what exactly?”

“Badger me like I’m some fucking kid.” At that you laugh, “why’re you laughing?”

“Because you’re not making any sense.” You shrug, “I’m being reasonable about our money, and you’re not.” He comes into the kitchen silently watching you organize the freezer foods. You eye him when you stand up, his jaw is set and his arms are folded.

An argument is brewing.

Luckily for Jungkook you’re too tired to hash it out. Softening your voice as best as you can you say, “Jungk—“

“I’m getting a tattoo, okay? Happy?” He uncrosses his folded arms motioning at you dramatically. You are relieved he’s not going to Choi’s, but not for long.

“Why’d you lie to me then?” You chuckle in uncertainty, glancing at Jungkook he tongues his inner cheek before shrugging.

“I don’t want you to come with me.” You gape at him, although this is not the first time he’s told you this, it still surprises you each time. He’s never given you solid reasons why and you usually tag along anyway. As silence falls over you two he can see the cogs turning in your head forming a question, you open your mouth to voice it, but he holds up his hand silencing you. “Baby, you just got home,” he starts, taking your hands in his own, “relax, watch a movie. I’ll be back in a few hours.” He promises, squeezing your hands, then he lets go leaving the kitchen.

“I’m not that tired,” yes you are. You were close to falling face first into the freezer moments ago. You're exhausted from working and then going grocery shopping, but you had to get it done. After all, Jungkook hadn’t done it and you asked him multiple times throughout the week to just pick up a few things you needed and he still hadn’t, conveniently always having something to do. “I’ll change and then we can go together.” You smile preparing to leave the kitchen, but he stops you by your hips, pulling you back into his chest.

“Baby,” he mumbles into your neck, “I’ll be right back, hm? Then I’ll be all yours.” The familiar heat settles in the pit of your stomach at his words and the close proximity between you two.

You smirk as a thought pops into your head. “We can fuck in the car.”

“I’m getting a thigh tat, baby, that’d hurt.” He snorts pressing a kiss to your neck, you hum thumbing over the top of his watch.

“Who said anything about me riding you? You can do all the work, I’m tired, remember?” You grin craning your neck to press a chaste kiss to his lips. He drops his head back to your neck, mouthing along the skin there.

“Which is why you should stay here, Y/n.” His teeth graze your skin and you swallow a moan, this tactic won’t work on you, you need to go — you will go. You’re not particularly fond of Jana or her twin sister Hana. Though they've done the majority of your (and Jungkook’s) tattoos and they believe you’re all friends, you think differently. Hana is too touchy with Jungkook and flirty (as if you don’t exist) and her sister sees no issue with her sister’s behavior and laughs it off. It’s also why you haven’t gotten back to them in two years about your planned trip to Jeju. Aside from that, you don’t like the idea of Hana showing up to her sister's parlor while Jungkook is there and you’re not, because more often than not if he’s there she “randomly” shows up, even on her days off.

“No, let me change. I’ll be right back.” Jungkook sighs, letting you go to your shared bedroom to do as you said. Slipping out of your denim shorts you can’t shake the weird feeling in your gut. Jungkook would never do anything with Hana, he practically laughs in her face when she flirts with him, and for Jana it’s no different although she’s never made a move on him in your presence. She has more respect for your relationship than her sister. You'll give her that. But still want you to go because you’re pretty sure when Jungkook schedules an appointment for a new tattoo or a piercing Jana tells Hana, it's by no means a coincidence that she randomly comes to the shop when he’s there. But Jungkook wouldn’t do anything, you know that. Even if you’ve drifted apart in the last few years you’ve both remained faithful and with the recent arguments you two have been getting into —which results in no apologies and angry sex— that achievement deserves its own appreciation.

Stepping back into the living room Jungkook is nowhere to be found. Confused, you move to the bathroom, but he’s not there either. He didn’t leave you, no, he wouldn’t do that, right? Not when you so clearly told him you wanted to go. You reach for your phone ready to curse Jungkook out as his name flashes on your screen.

Answering, you prepare to yell at him, but he beats you to it, “It's cold, I'm warming up the car, come down when you’re ready, baby.” You close your mouth expelling the breath that was saved for shouting allowing your anger to fade away at his thoughtfulness.

“I’m coming now.”

The familiar scent of mangos and that unbearable ‘clean’ smell hits your nostrils as soon as you step into Jana’s parlor, the bell above the door chiming. “Hey.” Jana greets Jungkook unable to see you behind his broad frame, she sounds far too friendly for your liking and you step into view making your presence known. Her grin slightly falters as her gaze shifts behind him to you. “Oh... Y/n!” She tries to convey that same friendly tone, but it's evident it's forced. You ignore her sitting into the black rolling chair next to the reception desk. No one’s here, but you three you notice. Glancing up at the black clock on the wall you know why; it's past closing time. It's ten, the shop closes at seven. The uneasy feeling is back as your mind makes up the worst case scenarios of why in the hell Jana is willing to do a tattoo for Jungkook three hours after closing.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when Jungkook places a paper in your hands. Your confused eyes meet his, but he nods down to it and you examine the sheet, it's a sketch of a snake, its body is wrapped around what looks to be a thick pole, Jungkook explains it represents his thigh, he’s asking for your opinion.

“Which thigh are you getting it on?” He taps his left thigh, you hum deep in thought. “I think it’ll look good.” He smiles displaying his teeth, before leaning down and kissing your lips.

“Thank you baby.” You mumble a you’re welcome pulling away from him. You wouldn’t have retracted so quickly, but in your peripheral you see Jana blatantly staring at you. You relax as they start up a conversation, Jungkook sitting down on the black leather seat while Jana washes her hands, preparing to tattoo him. You scroll mindlessly on your phone for the time being, glancing up, you look back down to your phone and then the image before you processed and your head shoots back up.

“What are you doing?” The question slips out before you can fully articulate just how bothered you are by the scene before you; Jana on her knees a black cushion beneath her while Jungkook’s jeans pool around his ankles. If not for the shorts hidden by his jeans you would’ve been shouting by now.

Jana prepares the ink gun raising her brows, “What’s wrong?” You scathingly laugh.

“Why’re you on your knees?” Seeing the look Jungkook gives you you mumble the last bit, fearing you may be making a big deal of nothing — no, no the fuck you’re not. Jana is on her knees in front of your boyfriend. If this wasn’t utterly disrespectful, it's at the least unethical. You squeak out an excuse as they both stare at you expectantly, “your knees will hurt...” You murmur weakly.

“I don’t mind being on my knees for a few hours.” You don’t miss the sly grin she sends Jungkook, eyeing him through her lashes. Jungkook coughs looking away, avoiding your eyes.

What the fuck?

You open your mouth to bark out a snarky remark, but the loud whirring of the ink gun fills the other wise silent parlor and you shake it off, leaning back into the chair.

You’ve been staring, Jungkook knows you have. He’s sneaking peeks at you every few minutes just to see your unwavering stare on Jana. You don’t care if you’re playing into the jealous girlfriend act right now. You’re not okay with the position they’re in and they -especially her- need to acknowledge that. But even when Jana catches your stare she just smiles returning to her work.

You only left once to use the bathroom, Jana had moved in your absence. Before, her hand rested on the floor propping her up onto the pillow as she worked. Now, her hand that isn’t occupied by the ink gun rested on Jungkook’s bare thigh. You bit your inner cheek, drawing blood to hold back your curses, this was so incredibly wrong. The ideas you have in your head just by seeing them in this position makes you wonder what the hell Jungkook might be thinking looking down at her between his legs smiling up at him innocently while they make conversation.

Your jaw clenched so tight you’re afraid your teeth may shatter, but you can’t do anything. If you blow a gasket, Jungkook leaves with a half done tattoo, or Jana sees you and Jungkook aren’t as happy as you act in front of your friends -weakness in a relationship breeds opportunities for people like her and her sister- you can’t believe you never assumed Jana felt that way towards Jungkook. Nor considered that she would do something so provocative knowing your relationship with him.

Jungkook’s stare on you becomes increasingly judgemental when he picks up on your scowl. Initially, he thought you were intrigued by Jana’s work like any other time you two came together. You'd watch closely asking questions about every little detail although you hadn’t done that in a few months. Your lack of input into the conversation was obvious, your anger as well. His eyes leave yours as he jumps, the needle digging into his flesh as little beads of blood spill. “Ow, shit.” He reaches for the wound to cover it, but Jana swats his hands away.

“Why’re you so jumpy? You have like a thousand tattoos and don’t touch, you’ll get it infected.” She scolds him reaching for a sterilizing wipe.

“I have tattoos up here,” he gestures to his upper body, “not on my thigh, you know that.” It’s true, she’s given him every tattoo he has. She knows he’s just recently started to fill his lower half with ink, but the way he words it makes you feel uneasy.

She hums, once again looking up through her lashes a small smile decorating her lips, “Well we’re gonna have to fill all this up then, hm?” She drags her fingers down his right thigh to his ankle and he visibly swallows. It’ll be over soon, you tell yourself but it's not helping, not when she strokes the skin of his ankle adding, “you wanna be tatted down to here?” Maybe it’s all in your head. Maybe in any other context that normally unassuming sentence wouldn’t have sounded like a sexual insinuation. Maybe Jana’s just offering more of her services. But you’re fuming and can’t stand the sight of him and her like that.

“I think you should take a break.” Jungkook looks at you with big eyes, shocked that you’ve actually spoken after an hour of silence and glaring.

Jana shakes her head tossing the bloodied wet wipe into the granite trash bin beside her thighs. “I don’t need a break, I want to finish as soon as possible.”

“Well, if you wanted that you would’ve done the tattoo during open hours not at ten at night,” Jana turns to you ready to reply as you quickly approach them, yanking Jungkook up out of his seat. He almost kicks Jana in the head, and you would’ve laughed if you weren’t so pissed off. “You’re taking a break.” You leave no room for argument as you drag Jungkook away from that bitch, to the back room. You slam the door pulling at the ends of your hair which you’d no doubt be upset about later on as you just got a silk press done a few days ago, but you were stressed out and your hair turning into a curly mess while you’re angry is the least of your problems.

“Bab—“ Jungkook closes his mouth when you turn to him, the look in your eye begs him to light the fire under you. One wrong word and you'd curse him out, uncaring if Jana hears how upset she truly made you with her little stunt. He swallows, licking his lips, he examines your features, attempting to find the right words. “Y/n,” No pet names, your name. No doubt he can see how upset you are and he’s not sure if the next few hours will go over smoothly if you continue like this. “What’s wrong?”

You scoff at him releasing your hair, “What’s wrong?” You repeat his question and he nods despite knowing you for almost six years he can’t pick up on the mocking tone you hold, “Jungkook, she’s on her fucking knees giving you a tattoo when she doesn’t have to.” It’s Jungkook’s turn to scoff waving you off as being dramatic, he readies to leave the room, but you grab his wrist. “Kook, we’ve seen her give thigh tattoos before she doesn’t need to be on her fucking knees for you.” Jungkook flinches at the for you disliking the choice of words.

“I only have eyes for you, baby.” He watches you closely as he grabs your hands like he did earlier as if trying to calm a wild bear, cautious and weary. And now it’s clear you’re the bad guy in this instance, to him at least.

You pull away from his hold plopping down onto the leather couch. If you’d look up you’d see the small smirk decorating his lips as you stretch out onto the couch, you were so cute. Jungkook always thought you were cute when angry, not all the time, sometimes you truly pushed him to the edge, but nonetheless you were so adorable. Looking at you now fiddling with your fingers he wants to laugh at how ironic this predicament is. You're so upset by Jana on her knees whilst unknowingly sitting on the couch where they’ve done much worse.

“That doesn’t matter to me, Kook. She’s being disrespectful.”

“To who?”

“Me!” You exasperated, throwing your hands up into the air. Jana was the main cause of your outrage at the moment, but Jungkook was really starting to piss you off. You just wanted him to see the issue with what she was doing, but it’s as if he’s acting stupid—you pray that’s the case because if not he is just plain fucking stupid. “Us, you! Jungkook, if I got on my knees for another man to give him a tattoo how would you feel?” He’d be pissed, much more than you are now.

He shrugged, “If you were more comfortable that way then.. I guess I’d be fine with it.” He forces the untrue words out of his mouth and you notice shaking your head at him bluntly lying to you.

“I want her off her knees, now.” You started reaching for the door handle, turning the knob but Jungkook was shuffling forward.

You face him as the familiar clicking sound fills the space, “Wait in the car.” You open your mouth to protest as reaches for your hand, forcefully closing the car keys in your palm, his larger hand covering your own. “Do it, please, you can even take a nap.” He smiles, trying to calm the lingering tension in the air.

The fight is leaving your body as you look over him. You’re well aware that he’s only trying to deescalate the situation and with the lack of adrenaline from before fizzling out you nod wanting nothing more than to snuggle up in the car.

And you do just that.

“Where’d she go? Home?” Jungkook shakes his head, making himself comfortable in the leather seat.

“She’s tired. She’s gonna sleep in the car.” Jana hums, flicking on the ink gun, “don’t do this again.” He warns as her hands hover above his skin, the whirring needle grazing the flesh of his thigh.

“Hm, are you really that upset?” She smirks, setting down the gun, Jana lightly grips Jungkook’s knees forcing him to remember all the times they’ve been like this before under much different circumstances. “And I wasn’t lying… you know I can be on my knees for hours at a time.” She grins.

And if you had stayed awake just a bit longer to watch them through the glass windows you would’ve seen Jungkook pulling her forward by her neck to kiss her.

The car beeping is what awakes you, Jungkook closing the door after completely bringing you out of your groggy state. “Hey, sleepy head.” Jungkok teases leaning over the console as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

You yawn, stretching your limbs, “You’re done?” He nods motioning to his thigh. If you were a little less tired you’d question why he switched out of his jeans and where they went, but you don’t. You press the car light studying the intricate lines that form a snake wrapped around Jungkook’s thigh, covered by a thin layer of saran wrap. The tattoo only adds to his intimidating aura and although you’ve known him for far too long to see him that way, from an outsider’s point of view he looks cool and edgy. “It looks nice.” You hum in approval, swiping your thumb along the skin under the tattoo. “You look sexy with it.” Jungkook chuckles, leaning over the console once again this time to seal your lips together.

“What did you say about fucking in the car again?” He rasps amusement dancing in his eyes, but there’s lust as well.

“Now that you mention it, I’m not all that tired anymore.” You push your car blanket aside sliding into Jungkook’s lap, he hisses readjusting your position on his lap. “Shit, sorry.” He shakes his head waving off your concern.

“It’s fine.”

And then you fuck right there in the car in the parking lot of Jana's shop. Jungkook’s evident desire for you solidifies his previous statement; he only has eyes for you.

Jungkook has been overly nice to you since the tattoo incident. Though you weren’t as angry as you usually are when you two argue he’s still silently apologizing; doing anything you ask around the house, buying you random gifts, going out of his way to bring you lunch or make you breakfast if you forget. Thinking this over after he parted from your office leaving you with a bento box, you knew he wanted something. Something big. It's been two months and he kept up the nice boyfriend display. He even started apologizing first at the mere hint of an oncoming argument. It was strange which is why you’ve been pondering just what the hell he wants to act so tedious around you.

The final gift he gave you before asking was a candlelit dinner. In awe you looked around your living room, it was something out of a hollywood movie. Red and white balloons filling the room from, rose petals forming a mini walkway to the table with candles beside them adding to the romantic aura. Jungkook helping you out of your coat and heels is what brings you out of your daze. You eye him, he looks and smells good. His biceps bulge as he hangs up your coat, his thighs doing the same when he bends down to carefully take off your heels. “Jungkook… what the fuck...” Jungkook chuckles at your amazement, guiding you to the dining table, he pulls out your chair where you two typically eat take out in silence. He motions you to sit.

“Lean forward.” You do and he gently moves your box braids forward so they don’t get caught between your back and the chair. Yeah, something is definitely up.

You keep your questions to yourself as he prepares your plate asking about your day, typical, but weird. It’s never been this chatty between you two. Which considering that you’ve been together for five years is probably a bad thing, but it works for the both of you, because if you don’t speak there’s no opportunity for arguments.

After eating, you sat in silence, the crackling of the candle dead center on the table filling the room. Jungkook’s previous chattiness was now as you’re realizing a result of him being nervous…and then it dawns on you.

Oh fuck, he’s gonna propose.

You didn’t even consider that a possibility earlier, but it all makes sense. Jungkook’s behavior has been to stay on your good side in hopes that you’ll say yes to him, he must really want to marry you. Thinking back on how difficult your relationship has been over the years your eyes well up with unshed tears, despite your issues Jungkook still wants to marry you. He still wants that traditional picture ‘perfect’ life with you. And only you. “No, why’re you crying?” He asks, reaching across the table for your hand. God, he even grabs your left hand.

Not wanting to spoil that you’ve caught onto his plans you wave him off, dotting on your tears with a napkin. “Nothing, this is.. this is so beautiful, Jungkook. Thank you.” His smile making your heart throb. You can still pick up on his lingering nerves as he prepared bungeoppang for the two of you. Frowning, you gestured to his empty plate, “You don’t want any?” He gives you a tight smile shaking his head no. “Why not?”

“I’m eating light.” I might vomit if I eat anymore, he wants to say that, but he can tell you’ve already picked up on his uncontainable anxiety. You say nothing else, cutting into the bread, you take a bite. You purposely eat slowly, mulling over Jungkook’s hastily approaching proposal. Are you even ready to get married? Five years is a fairly long time to be together without a ring and finally when meeting new people you wouldn’t have to introduce Jungkook as your boyfriend of five years, but your fiancé. But that didn’t mean you were ready. Was Jungkook even ‘the one’ for you? Glancing up at said man he offers you a warm smile, his eyes turning to tiny crescents, as cute as he is and as skilled as he is sexually that doesn’t mean he’s a lifelong partner.

The spark isn't there anymore relationship-wise, you both could attest to that. You can’t pinpoint when it died out—maybe it was two years back when arguments were an almost guaranteed daily occurrence or maybe it was the second year you were together when Jungkook silently made you choose between your job and him. You take a small bite of the bread and drop your fork, Jungkook’s eyes meet yours as the chair screeches behind you with the force of your stance. “Y/n—“

“I need to use the bathroom, excuse me.” You escape to the hall without waiting for his reply. Locking the bathroom door behind you, you leaned against it, your heart hammering in your chest. Your thoughts were making you extremely anxious probably even more so than Jungkook. Your breaths come out uneven and quick.

Get a grip, Y/n.

It’d be a waste of five years if you said no to Jungkook. Although saying no doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is over, you can’t imagine Jungkook’s ego accepting that you denied him. You fish your phone out of your pocket, you need advice. Opening your chat box with your bestfriend you nibble on your bottom lip. Lia wasn’t exactly fond of Jungkook, but she is the closest person to you, she could put her opinions aside to help you out.

You

Lia, Jungkook’s about to propose to me and I don’t know what to say.

Lia

Jungkook? Propose? What?!

You

I know, I know fuck I'm so nervous

Lia

Why?

You

I’m not 100% on saying yes, but neither am I 100% on saying no

Lia

Y/n.. you know how I feel about Jungkook

You do, Lia’s expressed discontent for your relationship with Jungkook ever since you chose to stay in Korea for him all those years ago. He was actually the cause of your first real argument with her. You were far too defensive of your decision and Jungkook and she was set on pointing out all the flaws he had. She was only looking out for you, but you didn’t see it that way.. which led to you mentioning her relationship with Yoongi and how despite his issues (like him being unfaithful to her when they dated in college) she was still with him.

“That’s different.” She told you fed up with the constant back and forth and your audacity to bring up her relationship, “I left Yoongi after that, you know that. We only got together again years after college it took me a long time to trust him again, and this isn’t even about me, Y/n!” It wasn’t but you were tired of being on the hot seat, she was scolding you like you were her child long before she had Yori. You snicker at the thought, she was always meant to be a mom.

You

I do, but I don’t know what to do with myself, I’m hiding out in the bathroom and he’s just out there waiting

You can imagine her sighing now, you’ve asked too much of her over the years when it comes to Jungkook and you. Her relationship wasn’t perfect, but her and Yoongi as you like to call it made it out the mud. They have a beautiful baby girl and they’re married and actually happy, not playing up some facade for the acceptance of others. She’s put her true feelings on the back burner a thousand times to aid you in your relationship issues, but this was huge. Marriage wasn’t something you flip a coin over. Paired with the fact that you’ve told her you don’t want to redo marriage again if it doesn’t work out, she doesn’t want to screw you for life because of poor wording.

Lia

Y/n, this choice is yours, if you’re having doubts you might already have your answer, but if its general nerves then think it over.

Lia

I can’t tell you whether or not to accept a proposal, even as your best friend that choice is yours alone.

You know that, but you’re so hopelessly lost, and back out there with Jungkook staring at you like you hung the moon and the stars just for him isn’t making things any easier.

Lia

Tell you what let's do a pros and cons list

Lia

Cons first go

You

We argue a lot, he’s oblivious to girls flirting with him, he makes poor financial choices, he’s stubborn, he refuses to see my point of view on certain things

Lia

Five cons, pros now

You

The sex is good…

Lia

That’s it? The sex?

Reading over your texts you can’t think of anything else that makes you yearn to accept Jungkook’s proposal. Other than the fact that you don’t want to be thrust back into the world of dating and starting over again. In addition, no one you’d slept with before you got with Jungkook gave you as many mind blowing orgasms. You come to a realization then. Those are also the top two reasons you haven’t broken up when advised to by Lia. A sad fact to face is that, your pros for marriage are also the only two things keeping you with him.

Lia

Do you even love him?

Instinctively you want to say yes you do love him. For five years you couldn’t be bound to him by lust alone, right? You had to love him. Ignoring the thoughts that remind you of how empty you feel telling him you love him you type your response.

You

Yes I do.

Lia

But all you can come up with is sex? That's why you want to marry him? Seriously?

You

Why did you marry Yoongi?

Lia

This isn’t about me, Y/n

You

Please just tell me why

Lia

He makes me a better person as stupid as it sounds. When we’re together he makes me feel like I can do anything, he cares for me like truly cares for me… he has his moments where he struggles to verbally express it, but he shows it through his actions. He tries, despite our past he’s shown me he’s not like that anymore, he’s grown since then.

It’s wrong to compare, you’re aware but looking at your relationship objectively next to hers, it's a losing battle. Jungkook brings out the worst in you- scratch that, you bring out the worst in each other. It’s either fucking or fighting, sure one is innately better than the other it’s usually a result of the ladder.

You

How do you know you love him?

Lia

Yori, when I see her I think of him.. its hard to explain, but it's like seeing our love in physical form, and just seeing how he loves her makes me fall harder every day, I’m not just in love with him I fall harder every day.. ah this is so cheesy

You begin to type out another question that could aid in your decision when a soft knock to the door startles you. The cause of your anxiety calling out to you, “Baby, are you okay? It’s been almost twenty minutes.” Fuck, had you really been gone that long? You mentally praise yourself for texting Lia instead of calling her because God knows how long Jungkook’s been outside the bathroom. Locking your phone you turn on the sink, splashing some cold water on your face, you catch a glimpse of your appearance in the mirror. The mental dilemma is written all over your face. The black pants suit you put on this morning drowning your shaking form.

You can’t hide forever.

Drying your hands you unlock the door, Jungkook looks down at you for an explanation but you brush past him, going to back the dining room. He joins you at the table this time sitting beside you instead of across from you, you still don’t have a clear answer for him, but the stalling is coming to an end as he opens his mouth.

“So.. Y/n.” He grabs your hands, a nervous grin layering his lips. “I have a question to ask you.” He goes to stand up but you force him back down, gripping his thigh.

“Jungkook..” you say through a strangled breath, knowing what's coming is taking all the energy out of you, knowing that you have to say no is weighing you down. But that’s the only option you have. Lia was right, you have no real reason to love Jungkook anymore, but you won’t bruise his ego by declining his proposal. It's best to just stop while you’re both ahead. “I can’t—I..” you swallow nervously, “I love you..” you quietly mumble, “but this? I can’t do this.” You let go of his hand gesturing to the air around you.

“What? I’m sorry I’m not following?” Hearing the evident confusion in his tone you look up at his face matching his words he looks utterly confused.

You fiddle with the fabric of your pantsuit, closing your eyes as you finally say, “I’m not ready, Jungkook, I can’t marry you.” You don’t know how you expected him to react to your denial, maybe he’d leave or shout at you, maybe throw a thing or two—he’s never done that before, but that’s just a possibility of how he would display his attitude towards your reluctance to wed him. However, he did none of what you would’ve guessed, instead he laughed.

Now you were the confused one, “Baby, what?” He dotted under his eyes as if wiping away tears, his nervousness from before now replaced with pure amusement at your assumption. “I wasn’t gonna propose to you,” he reassures you cupping your cheek. “I was going to ask you.. if you would be down for a threesome?” The second the word ‘threesome’ leaves his mouth your heart drops. He rambles on, but you cannot hear him because your boyfriend of five years just told you he wants to invite another person into your sexual space.

Your eyes begin to gloss over as he drones on about how good it’d be for your relationship, something about “strengthening your bond” and “spicing up your sex life” when the first few tears fall he stops speaking, gently cradling your face in his large palms.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” The soft tone isn't lost on you, nor is how careful he’s being just like before. How could you have been so stupid? For five years Jungkook hadn’t proposed, for five years you two mostly argued and fucked things out, you weren’t fit for a wife and he damn sure was no husband. All that carefully curated buildup, all the nice things he’d done for you wasn't for you to agree to marriage, but to willingly engage in a threesome. For two months, he’d been nothing but incredible to you for this. A fucking threesome. Everything's blurry with your glossy eyes, but somehow you manage to shove Jungkook’s hands away from you and stumble into the bathroom, locking yourself inside like earlier.

“Y/n…” Jungkook knocks against the door, sighing when he’s only met with your light sobs. “I didn’t ask to upset you, I-I thought it’d be fun.” Despite his intentions he did upset you. The one thing you pride yourself on in your relationship is your sex, its why it was your number one pro to marry Jungkook after all. Your sex is unmatched, you do not want to share him with anybody and you thought he felt the same.

Jungkook has ruined you for other men—granted they all come in different shapes and sizes. Jungkook's build, his stamina, and his knowledge of how to get you over that blissful cliff is hard to find in anyone else. It took only a few days for Jungkook to know everything that turns you on and only a day to make you enjoy overstimulation. As odd as it was, you thought that was the same for him. Sure, he could find another woman, one with different tits and less of a stomach, and a fatter ass (although he loves your ass) but it would be pointless to start over again, not when he has you. But then again that’s the difference between you and him gender wide at least. Women for him just have to be wet enough, tight enough and he’s good to go. Men have to be Jungkook. There’s no way around it.

The thought of him fucking someone else in front of you—cumming from someone else while you watch doesn’t make your stomach coil in lust, but unease and disgust. You’ve caught Jungkook’s eyes wandering before on women, but that didn’t matter because he would never cheat on you, but now thinking back on it maybe he was looking at them as possible candidates for your threesome. Jungkook knows your body well, yes, but he knows your mind just as much if not better and just like him you know eventually with enough pushing and sulking on his end you’ll give in.

That night you stayed in the bathroom sleeping uncomfortably in the tub over having to face Jungkook. In the morning, you left without waking him up, struggling to look at his sleeping figure without getting teary eyed. It pained you to know that Jungkook wasn’t as satisfied with your sex life as you were. You lacked something that he thought he could get from another woman. He was kind enough not to cheat, but fucking another woman in front of you is the same thing, no? You can’t tell when the sex got boring for him, when did he realize he needed something you couldn’t give him? He can’t fake an orgasm that’s for sure and each time you’ve went at it like animals he’s come so what is it that made him want this?

After eight grueling hours at work you went over to Lia’s place. Yoongi was at work and Lia had just gotten off and though she had her hands full with Yori she put her down for a nap to hear you out. You presumed you looked how you felt, like shit because she was offering you a drink to ease whatever turmoil was rolling off of you. Lia liked to say she can pick up on energy and if she can she knows that you tossing back two shots back to back is due to something inherently negative.

“So.. you told Jungkook no?” Ah, that's right. After crying yourself into passing out you never told Lia how it went or even corrected yourself that he didn’t want to marry you, but fuck you with another woman present. So you explain just that and how stupid you felt for thinking that way in the first place. She takes your hand in hers offering you a small smile, “If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. He can’t force you.” But he sure as hell can guilt trip you, but you don’t say that instead down another shot. “Y/n..” It’s pointless sitting here talking to Lia about this.

Jungkook will get his way, it's been like that for the entirety of your relationship. Whether that’s your job overseas, you chose Jungkook and with this threesome ordeal it’s inevitable you’ll cave and choose Jungkook again. The whole thing makes your head hurt -or maybe it’s the shots- no matter the circumstances you’ll always put Jungkook first. It’d take some serious wrongdoing for you to put your feelings and your comfort at the forefront over his and Lia must know it too as she holds you, allowing you to cry.

You couldn’t hide out at Lia and Yoongi’s house forever, not even when she offered you her guest bedroom, a place you’ve slept many times after countless arguments with Jungkook. Said man was sitting on the living room couch when you attempted to quietly slip out of your shoes and escape to the bathroom to shower, hopefully putting off your conversation, but you know the beeping of the keypad gave away your presence. “Y/n.” He calls out to you as soon as you reach the hall that leads down to the bathroom. “We need to talk.” He sighs standing up.

“No we don’t.” You attempt and quickly fail at isolating yourself in the bathroom, Jungkook stands there in the doorway pouting at you. Ah, another tactic. He’s sulking faster than you thought and successfully pulling at your heart strings, pushing you closer to caving earlier than you hoped.

“I wanna say—“ you turn your back to him running the bathwater as you check the temp for the water. “Y/n.” The annoyance in his voice is obvious but you don’t give into him, beginning to strip. Clad in your undergarments he finally stops you spinning you towards him by your bicep, he’s too strong for his own good. “I said, we need to talk.” Scoffing, you pull your arm away.

“And I said no we don’t.” Jungkook rubs his temple sighing as you get into the shower sliding the glass door closed, the water beating down on you muddling his words. It’s when the talking stops you think he left and finally allow yourself to relax. The main reason you're putting the conversation off is because you know you’ll give in if he keeps using his Jungkook tactics, without fail it’ll work on you, but also you don’t want to hear Jungkook’s excuse for wanting to openly cheat on you. Even if he doesn’t see it as infidelity, it is. And hearing Jungkook dance around why he wants another person would only be hinting at your lack of something sexually, your ego doesn’t need to hear that either.

The shower door slides open, Jungkook slipping in behind you. God you really hate how excited that makes you despite all the other negative feelings he’s brought out of you the last two days. He reaches in front of, grabbing his shower gel, his arm brushing against your hip. Fuck, is this another tactic? He washes himself in silence and you do the same. No words are exchanged and you’re thankful that you’ve managed to yet again evade the topic until he breaks the peaceful atmosphere.

“I just wanted to try something new.” He tells you pulling you into his chest. “Okay? That’s it, baby,” He takes your shower gel and the sud-filled rag in your hand washing your front again. “I love you, you know this.” Do I? You bite your tongue to prevent the question from slipping out, that question would bring on an even more uncomfortable conversation, one you and Jungkook have avoided for years.

“Why, Jungkook?” You lean back into his touch, unfortunately yearning for it regardless of the inner battle you're having mentally. “We can do anything and everything to each other so why do we need another person? Whether that be guy-“ his face turns up repulsed by the idea reflected in the wide shower head, “or girl.” His features relax, planting a soft kiss on your shoulder.

“That’s why, we’ve done everything, but this.” His hands drifted downwards. “we’ve technically had sex in public, we’ve fucked in every position possible-“ he pauses watching your facial expression in the metal shower head above turn from worried to something he’s more familiar with, desire. His fingers ghost over your clit as he leans down to your ear, purposefully pressing his lips to your skin. “This would benefit both of us..” he murmurs, kissing behind your ear. “think about it… me fucking you while another girl kisses you doesn’t turn you on?” Well, with his fingers actively working to turn you on, yes it does.

“Why n-not a guy, huh?” Jungkook shakes his head meeting your eyes in the shower head, “w-why?” You swallow a moan when he slips one finger inside you slowly working you open.

“I don’t want you with a guy.” He says simply shrugging. That’s unfair—no, it’s fucking absurd!

Pushing his hands away from your cunt, you face him still throbbing between your legs but having enough decency and common sense to know that letting him finger you whilst having a conversation like this will only end badly for you. “Jungkook, what makes you think I want to see you with another girl?” He furrows his brows, opening his mouth to reply, closing it again he looks away from you. “Kook, I really don’t want to do this, okay? Unless it’s with a guy I’m out.” Sliding the shower door open you leave him there with his thoughts.

You were pissing him off, the fact that you had yet bowed your head and bit your tongue to please him was unnerving. A whole week had gone by since your shower together and you were stone walling him. Unbeknownst to you he’s trying to make things better for the both of you. Though he’s been dabbling in cheating with Jana for a little while now he wouldn't have to if you had all had sex.

It makes sense to him.

You all hookup, you’d realize how amazing she is and something could come of that maybe a relationship, but you’re so insistent on fucking a guy Jungkook is close to giving up on the threesome idea altogether. Jana was easier to convince than you, of course she was, she’s not in love with him like you are, but still. Last night was the final straw, you promised Jungkook to look for someone for your threesome, and to his displeasure you were looking for a guy, not a girl.

You weren’t looking, despite Jungkook’s worrying thoughts you were not scavenging males for someone to fuck you. He was upset by your suggestion the other night that was clear but so were you if not more. The only way he stopped talking about the threesome was by you bringing up your fake seeking out of another male partner for sex, it worked, but he was pissed. He was also avoiding you, coming home late and leaving early. It made you happy that the idea of a man sleeping with you even if he was present bothered him so much that he needed time away from you, plus now he knew how you felt after he admitted to wanting that with a woman.

Walking the busy streets of Seoul you could forget about all that. A slither of peace was offered to you as familiar tunes flooded the Seoul streets. You stopped to look at some cute puppies pressed against the glass of a pet store. You’d been here before to Jung’s Pet Store. If your building didn’t have a pet fee you would’ve bought one of the cute pups home by now. Busy crouched and tracing the glass to entertain a cute german puppy you don’t notice someone approaching you from behind. “Netter 97,” your head shoots up at the familiar voice, your eyes widening in recognition at the male beside you.

“Hoseok!” You stand ignoring the ache in your legs from your position throwing your arms around the male. “Oh God, no one has called me that since college.” You slap his arm and he grins pleased that you remember the nickname he created for you, you were fairly athletic back then, in college and excelled at volleyball. When you pull away from the embrace he eyes your hand, no ring. His grin widens.

“Ah, its been so long, how have you been?” He asks leaning against the glass where the puppies helplessly bark for your attention, your eyes flicker down to them and back up to him, he reminds you of them as weird as that may sound. In college, he was always energetic and smiling like a puppy and even now though he looks more mature, but still just as cute and full of life.

“I’ve been good, how about you?” You reciprocate his smile, making grabby hands at the cute pups giggling when one of them jumped towards the glass.

“Stressed,” you give him a concerned once over your brows drawn together, “it’s nothing serious, my granddad passed away and-”

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Hoseok’s still smiling as he waves off your apology already having heard that same statement thousands of times.

“Its fine, uhm, he owned this place actually,” he points a thumb back towards the shop your in front of, “-and he sort of left it to me.” Your eyes double in size, the place you’ve come by almost everyday after work is owned by your ex from college and you haven’t noticed up until now… wow. “It's a new thing, so I’m just a little antsy about it.” He chuckles, rubbing at his nape.

“Ah, I hope things get better for you, Hoseokie.” You look back down as the new addition to barking pups a tall doberman catching your attention causing you to miss Hoseok’s light blush at the nickname.

“Thank you..” he clears his throat bringing your attention back to him as he straightens himself pushing off the glass. “I’m sorry, I have to ask.. Did things work out with Jungkook? Or… are you single?” Your brows raised in shock, your lips parting, you hadn’t expected that. “Sorry, sorry. Was that too straightforward? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfor-” you lightly grasp his forearm, cutting off his nervous ramblings.

“Its okay.” You offer him a smile, “and to answer your question, me and Jungkook are still together.” You tell him dropping your hand from his flannel clad bicep.

“Ah..” Hoseok only lets you get a glimpse of his disappointment before it dissipates into a smile which is undoubtedly forced. “He hasn’t made a wife out of you yet?” He queries nodding down to ringless hands.

You bite your bottom lip shaking your head. “No.” You hide your hands in your jacket pocket, “He hasn’t gotten around to it yet and things have been..” you trail off. Things have been shitty, awful, terrible, if Jungkook proposed right now you’d probably laugh in his face. “Rocky as of late.” Hoseok nods, taking in your negative description of your relationship. Hoseok isn't as bitter as he was back then over you choosing Jungkook over him. Back then you tearfully claimed you caught feelings for Jungkook you didn’t know how it happened but you did, things could change now the roles could flip and you could choose him.

“I hope things get better, I would’ve made you a wife by now, you’re too pretty to just be someone’s girlfriend.” He tells you casually, chuckling at the taken aback expression on your face.

“Hey! Hoseok, I need help in here!” A woman inside calls out to him, holding two boxes with the infamous cat brand “Min” labeling the sides. He pays her no mind looking back to you and the woman huffs dropping the boxes.

Oh God is that his girlfriend?

“Are you flirting with me while you have a partner?” You quickly whisper as the fuming woman strolls closer, from this angle she sort of looks like a feminine version of him.

“No! That’s my sister- ow!” She tugs on his ear when she gets to you two.

“Why’re you chatting up customers? There’s boxes that need to be unpacked and customers waiting in line!” Now you can see the sibling dynamic, calming your worried thoughts. Hoseok truly is still the same caring heartwarming guy he was back then, he’d never cheat.

The same can’t be said about Jungkook.

He smacks her hands off, glaring. He closes his eyes inhaling deeply before he opens them gesturing at you as you wave sheepishly at the woman. “This is Y/n.” Her eyes widen dramatically letting out a loud ah in realization.

“So you’re the girl Hoseok won’t shut up about? You finally gave him a chance? He’s been pining since col-” Hoseok slaps his hand over her mouth dragging her back into the shop as she yells protests and swears into his palm.

“I’ll see you, Y/n! If things don’t work out my numbers been the same since college!” You giggle at the scene the heat from earlier filling your cheeks once again, if you were lighter you’d be blushing. Giving one last tap to the glass you bid goodbye to the pups and Hoseok as well before heading home. Although it’d be shitty from the obvious attraction Hoseok still has for you, Hoseok could do well in your threesome. You’ve had sex with him before numerous times actually and he’s no Jungkook, but he’s good in bed.

Returning home, Jungkook didn’t acknowledge you which you were immensely thankful for. Each time he opened his mouth the conversation would magically drift towards the threesome and then an argument. Unlike the other times you’ve had your disputes it didn’t end in sex, but door slamming and someone leaving. It was appalling to you that he was still set on this threesome despite your reluctance to even see it as a possibility for the two of you. It isn’t until your cutting a variety of vegetables and he’s grabbing a drink from the fridge do either of you speak.

“How was your day?” He speaks first, no surprise there, you weren’t looking to talk anyway.

He eyes you nervously playing it safe with his word choice, so you take the bait, slicing a carrot as you shrug. “It was fine.” Jungkook’s gaze falls to the little chops you're making, biting the inside of his cheek, he exhales. You can already feel the exhaustion taking hold of you as he opens his mouth, ready to start up yet another argument. “Jungkook, I already told y—“

“Can I hold you?” You go silent, stunned at his question, the knife in your palm clattering onto the cutting board. “we barely talked this week…” His shoulders slump, his grip tightening on the bottle in his hold as he confesses, “and I miss touching you..” his doe eyes meeting yours has you nodding letting him come around the counter and press himself to your back. You resume cutting enjoying the warmth he provides and somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind you admit you missed him too. Even if you’re arguing you at least see each other, touch each other even if it is sexually and as result of a fight, you’re around one another.

These past few days have been long and distant, Jungkook’s stubbornness paired with your avoidant behavior made for a never ending cycle of not speaking to each other or even sleeping in the same bed. Him being here, wrapped round your waist softly humming into your neck, comforts you in a way you can’t remember feeling in the last few years of your relationship.

He surprises you when he speaks again this time whispering a soft I’m sorry. You put down the knife spinning in his hold. “What?” You breathe baffled that he’s apologizing first, not ignoring the issue or fucking it out with you like usual.

He swallows, his eyes dropping to the gold pendant hanging low on your neck, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have forced that onto you, or even asked—“ You have a strong urge to kiss him and you do gently cupping his cheeks, “What was that for?” He asks, his lips brushing yours.

“I’m not sure,” you tell him quietly, not wanting to ruin the slice of comfort you’ve created in the kitchen.

“Can we just.. go back to how things were?” You nod, kissing his cheek.

“No more talk of a threesome.” You warn him jokingly holding up your knife. He smiles agreeing with a grunt when you turn around. His smile falls as you resume preparing dinner, his jaw set. You’d agree, he thought, you just need a little more of a push. Jungkook’s not stupid, he knows the core of your relationship is based in sex. He sees it when he stops you from preparing dinner and bends you over the counter. You look at him with so much emotion more than you ever have when telling him you love him. So, if you sleep with Jana while he’s present maybe a relationship can prosper from there. You just need a little time.

Jungkook, to your surprise, didn’t mention the threesome. Five months had passed and you’ve fallen back into your routine, Jungkook and you weren’t arguing as much either, in fact getting over the little issues that had risen months ago after his proposal had made you stronger, or so you thought.

You were extremely tired, all but dragging your feet to your apartment door, the corridor seemed to stretch on longer when you were tired, but finally after hauling your bag inside and kicking off your heels you could rela—

You hear a giggle.

A feminine giggle followed by, “I’m so nervous.” Suddenly you weren’t all that tired. With quick steps you reached the living room confused by the scene in front of you, Jungkook and Jana sitting side by side. Not that it mattered, but their legs were touching, arms too. Jana noticed you first beaming as she stood encasing you in a bone crushing hug, “Y/n, how are you?” In need of space, you thought as she pulled back from your motionless figure barely inches away from your face.

“I..” you looked at Jungkook who only stared at you with a seemingly hungry glint in his eyes as he watched Jana rub your forearms, slowly, too slow as if she’s feeling you up. “I’m good, tired.” You tell her attempting to step back, but she follows you grinning at your confused expression.

“Mm, tired?” Her voice dips into something lower, huskier. If you weren’t so tired and confused with her sudden presence in your home you’d say she’s attempting to sound seductive. Her eyes fall to your lips. “Why don’t I relax you then, huh?” Before the word what can leave your lips she’s moving forward, kissing you. The feeling of her tongue swiping across your flesh is what brings you out of your initial shock, your body reacting on its own as you push her back your eyes wide. You stumble back away from her. She looks at you as if she’s confused. Jungkook laughs rising from the couch he stands beside Jana, both of them now towering over you.

“Baby, relax.” Jungkook murmurs to you, moving behind you he aligns himself with your back wringing his hands around your waist. He gently squeezes your hips as you stare at Jana who stares back, licking her lips.

“Jungkook, what the fuck is going on?” You nearly squeak when he grabs your ass, “Kook—“

“The threesome, baby, remember?” Jana steps forward now once again her gaze falls to your lips. She’s going to kiss you again you realize as she begins leaning in. You absolutely do not want her to do that so you quickly slip away from the sandwich they forced you into, panting. What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK? You were happy, elated even after you assumed Jungkook had dropped the threesome subject altogether, Lia was even surprised when you told her he actually stopped talking about it, but you didn’t think he’d do this; force it on you. You thought he was better than that, apparently he’s not.

“Jungkook, why the fuck? W-what the fuck?” You don’t even realize you’re crying until you look down the carpet below you darkening with your tear drops, you’re shaking as well. Somehow Jungkook’s managed to make you feel unsafe in you’re own home and uncomfortable. So fucking uncomfortable. Jana furrows her brows looking between you and Jungkook. To her knowledge you agreed to the threesome. Why else would Jungkook mention having one? Jungkook steps closer to you but you step back, you are repulsed by the thought of him touching you, being near you, not when he did this.

“Calm down, Y/n.” He tells you gently, his hands turning to fists at his sides so he doesn’t touch you. This isn’t how he expected you to react, he was hoping for anger, screaming, then kissing and fucking. The normal progression between you two. But right now you’re shaking and crying whilst trying not hyperventilate. You’ve never felt this emotion with Jungkook. He brings out a lot of you, rarely anything joyous, but this discomfort, this fear, is new. And you need to get away, far, far away. “Baby, why don’t we just sit down, hmm?” You’re turning, running, stopping at the front door to grab your shoes and purse before you bolt out of the apartment. Jungkook does not chase you, his only attempt to stop you is when he opens the door calling your name.

Your car door slams as you settle inside, the exhaustion from literally running away from Jungkook weighing down on you as your emotions take hold. You’ve never felt so betrayed by him. You know he did this, he orchestrated this, he caused all the unpleasant emotions you’re feeling. It’s all his fault, he never dropped the subject, he just waited until you were seemingly okay with him again and sprung it on you. That thought alone makes bile rise in your throat. Consent, and lots of it at that, has been a big thing for your relationship so for Jungkook to pull this feels like something you can’t come back from. You’ve been through a lot with Jungkook, your relationship has suffered and survived a lot of tumultuous shit between you two, but thinking about him touching you trying to get you to participate only brings more tears to your eyes.

You look up from where you’ve been hanging your head to see Jungkook exiting the building, a satisfactory smile tugging at his lips as it dawns on him that he got outside before you left. His smile falls as you turn your key in the ignition reversing he runs up and you catch sight of his bare feet. In another scenario this would bring you some sort of pseudo-comfort that despite the pain he might be feeling from the rocks digging into his skin he chased after you, right now it doesn’t. You’re glad he might be bleeding, feeling just a fraction of what he’s made you feel emotionally.

Without looking back you drive off.

You drive for hours a mindless loop around your apartment complex and then drive past Yoongi and Lia’s house for such a long time that the lights turn off your fifth time around their block. You need to talk to someone but you don’t even know if you feel comfortable enough to talk to Lia about the situation because then if you stay with Jungkook she wouldn’t help you in the future. If it came to this, you having to seek out advice from her because of something like this, she would absolutely hate Jungkook for what he did. And you wouldn’t blame her. You might hate him as well.

It’s a long shot, but you try anyway. You park in front of your bestfriend’s house under the blinking street light, shutting off your car. You were almost out of gas literally and metaphorically. You were so tired of everything. Your job, coming home to him, him. You were tired of him. Things weren’t getting better. Jungkook was subtly luring you in for the kill and like the good little mouse you are, you played right into his trap.

Please be awake.

Your leg nervously bounces as the phone rings the voicemail reaching your ears. Swearing you’re ready to hang up when the automated message fades out to a groggy confused hello?

“Dr. Kim!” You close your eyes relieved, you need professional help. Lia is amazing, but she’s no Dr. Kim. You and Jungkook’s ex-relationship counselor. He’d been with you guys for a year before Jungkook decided you two were both healed and no longer needed therapy. He said relationship counseling brought out a bad side of you. He said you were more argumentative and it made him feel like shit, so you sent Namjoon a thank you and goodbye messages and that was the end of it. But now you’re thankful you didn’t delete his number.

“W-who is this?” You wince at the sound of his sleep deprived voice, guilt over taking you for calling so late.

“Y/n, I was one of your clients up until July last year—“

“Mm-mm-mm yes, erm.. if I’m remembering correctly you no longer needed my services?” You’re guessing that’s his polite way of saying ‘why the fuck are you calling me?’ But in a nicer, professional, modest way.

“I.. I need some advice-“ you start, catching onto the low sigh he releases.

“Y/n-ssi, I would love to help you, but it is so early in the morning,” you glance up at your dashboard at your dashboard 1am staring back at you. You’ve been driving for almost six hours. Great, now you and Jungkook could add avoidance to your long list of issues—maybe that was already there but instead of driving away, it was fucking, dancing around the problem physically.

“I know, but I just… I can’t ask my friends for help and you’re… you know licensed in this field.”

“Ah, I can tell you’re desperate…” he sighs settling on helping you despite his body begging him to go back to sleep. “Alright what’s going on? Lay it on me.”

And so you explain for the next twenty minutes what’s been going on between you two. From the tattoo thigh incident and how that made you feel to now the forced threesome situation.

“Okay,” Namjoon says thoughtfully, it reminds you of last year when he’d lean onto his thighs, fingers laced as he processed whatever you or Jungkook had just told him. He never interrupted and now was no different he just listened and then— “Y/n, can I talk to you person to person? No counselor to client, just normal advice?” You gulped, well that couldn’t be good. “Y/n?”

“Yeah, I-I’m here, go ahead.” You tell him, biting your inner cheek.

“I think you should break up with Jungkook,” he says pausing to let you react, freak out, something, but it never comes and he continues, “Your relationship for as long as I’ve known you two is very imbalanced and toxic,” he breathes getting more comfortable speaking to you normally rather than keeping up his professional almighty persona, “I’ve had friends like that; they bend to every single need their partner has and it leaves them feeling miserable. I’m glad that for once you’re retailitating, but when I think back on all those other sessions we’ve had you’ve always conceded and now I don’t think it'll be any different.”

“Namjoon?”

“Yes?”

“Have you always felt this way?” He sucks his teeth, the line going uncomfortably silent.

“Honestly? Yes. When you guys stepped into my office you were very…handsy, but there was no… emotion behind it if you get what I mean. Like you two would talk a lot about how you have sex and argue, but that was about it. Every once in awhile there’d be a date and a cute gesture for one another, but other than that you two talked about each other like hateful fuck buddies and when you stopped coming to me I thought it was because you finally ended things, but no.” His tone leads you to believe he’s disappointed by the news that even a year after cutting ties you two have stayed together.

You don’t blame him, when you did go to him it was right after you made the decision to stay in Korea for Jungkook’s career while forfeiting the opportunity of a lifetime for your own. Namjoon was a patient man (and very attractive, seriously if it wasn’t for Jungkook you would’ve totally hit that—or not, Namjoon seems more the settle down type not really into hookup culture you assume.) when you two would start bickering and swearing at each other during a session he‘d just watch and listen and then proceed to talk to you like you were children. It worked to ground the both of you but you never really apologized to one another other, just fucked it out in the bathroom or the car. And then Jungkook decided things were good and asked you (told you) to cut ties with Namjoon.

He said he didn’t like how Namjoon was altering your relationship, you were more bitchy (advocated for yourself more) too much attitude over stupid stuff (calling Jungkook out on genuine stuff) plus you could utilize the tools Namjoon supplied you with without actually going to him. And that worked out fine, right?

Wrong.

Namjoon sighs, bringing you out of your thoughts, “Y/n, I think the best thing you can do for yourself is leave Jungkook.” You stay silent swallowing the lump in your throat, its making it harder to breathe. Everyone has already told you this, but none of the people that advised you to end your relationship are certified in relationship counseling like Namjoon is, it was different, the advice felt heavier, it meant more. “No more talking, no more compromises, okay? I mean he quite literally tried to spring a threesome on you tonight.” The lump wasn’t going down the more you swallowed the harder it got to stay calm and before you knew it tears were forming.

Namjoon got quiet again, your lack of esponse worrying him, “Y/n–“

“He’s all I know.” You mutter hanging your head, “I’m all he knows, it's been that way for years.” You inhale deeply to hold back the wave of emotions you’re feeling. “Do you know how hard it would be to start all over again? I-I fucking can’t.” You press your fingers into your eyes attempting to push the tears back that threaten to spill.

“Y/n,” Namjoon started carefully, “have you ever considered that you’re not all Jungkook knows?” You slowly remove your palms glancing at your phone, your vision littered with black spots.

“What do you mean?”

“Have you ever thought that…” Namjoon hesitates. This breaks all of Namjoon’s moral grounds as a counselor, but fuck it you need to leave Jungkook, plus he’s no longer your counselor breifly laying out the details of what Jungkook told him during a solo session technically breaks no legal barriers. “That Jungkook may be c—“ Your phone vibrates in the cup holder, glancing down you see Jungkook is calling you. You press the red button and resume talking to Namjoon.

“Sorry about that, he was just calling me.” You explain, aggressively typing out a message to Jungkook.

You

Don’t fucking call me.

You’re not surprised by his response.

My Love

Don’t be like that baby come on answer me

“What were you saying?”

Namjoon clears his throat recounting his train of thought, “Right, I was saying, have you considered that the reason Jungkook is such a bad boyfriend is because he’s been c—“ Ring. You clench your jaw as his name pops up again, automatically putting Namjoon on hold as Jungkook’s special ringtone plays. The song brings you back to your first date, when Jungkook bad told you the song reminded you of him adequately titled “Butterflies” it fit back then, but now that feeling in your stomach isn’t butterflies, it’s anxiety.

Whatever, you have to talk—seriously talk sooner or later, why not get it over with?

Jungkook was feeling brazen and after you left, who was going to take care of his hard on? Half of the reason he felt so hot and bothered had left and that left Jana, who was more than happy to get on her knees no questions asked while he dialed you.

“What, Jungkook?” You hissed, gripping your phone tightly.

“Hello to you too, baby,” Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut as Jana slowly bobbed her head swallowing a groan he dug his nails into his thigh, “when are you coming back home? We need to talk.”

“I agree.”

“Great, I’ll see you in what? Twenty minutes?”

“No, I’m staying out tonight,” Jungkook was listening, yes, but this whole ordeal was making it hard to stay quiet. His side situationship or side piece was giving him head while you, his girlfriend, stayed on the phone your voice thick with attitude (something that he finds incredibly attractive) absolutely clueless to his current predicament. His hands tangled into Jana’s pin straight hair—it was nothing like yours, but he could imagine stuffing your throat to get you to shut the fuck up, such amazing imagery almost made him bust right there. “Okay? Bye.” Jungkook blinked his eyes open, but it was too late. You hung up, God, he doesn’t even know what you said; Jana does. In his attempts to stay quiet she could hear you on the phone from her kneeled position.

“She’s staying at a hotel,” she said lowly, languidly stroking his cock. “We’ve never fucked at your place before, why don’t we make it a first, hmm?” Jungkook opened his mouth to agree swiftly breaking into a swear as she enveloped him with her mouth once again.

It'd be a long night.

You were getting antsy. You texted Jungkook some three hours ago to meet you at the Seoul Park—well it wasn’t really a park more of an open field of grass with park benches—he read the text an hour ago, so really you’d only been waiting an hour, but with the upcoming conversation looming over your head it felt like an eternity had passed.

And Jungkook was… busy for a lack of of a better word. While you twiddle your thumbs about the inescapable conversation that would determine the future of your relationship he was busy fucking Jana all over your shared apartment. Bathroom shower, kitchen counter, your bed. It was all so incredibly disrespectful and he knew it too, but God it was so hot. You ate breakfast where Jungkook bent her over, you bathed where Jungkook pinned her against the shower wall—not too long ago he pinned you against it the same way. Yeah, he saw your text, but you’d still be there waiting.

Because that’s what you do when you love someone, you wait and he knew you'd wait especially for him.

It was stupid to do so, but six long hours later you had dozed off on the bench. Morning had very quickly turned to afternoon right before your eyes and you slowly drifted off. It’s not like you weren’t completely aware of your surroundings because you definitely felt the weight of something large and furry crushing you, and something wet brushing against your cheek. “Somi, stop it!” Your eyes shot open the scene before you would have been comical if you weren’t so startled; Hoseok with one foot propped on the bench beside your thigh leaning back as he pulls on the large dogs collar with his full weight.

“Hoseok-ssi?” You mumbled tired, confused. How long have you been at the park? Why did the sky look like it was about to get darker? More importantly, where was Jungkook?

“Y/n-ssi, sorry about that,” Hoseok huffed, successfully pulling the dog off of you to his side, keeping a tight grip on his leash. Hoseok dug into his pockets pulling out a few napkins. He took a step closer to you and began wiping the area the dog had licked, cleaning it. “Somi here can be a bit too energetic when we go for walks.”

“Well he’s a cute little puppy,” the dog barked happily as if it could understand you, making you giggle, causing Hoseok to smile. The dog rolled onto its back and you got the message lightly scratching at its soft tummy. “Yes, you are, good puppy.” The dog palms the air and you giggle again at its cuteness.

“So… why were you asleep out here? That’s pretty dangerous.” Your mood soured as you remembered your intentions with coming to the park. Hoseok was always good at reading you in college and now was no different so of course he took notice. “You don’t have to answer that!” He assures you, hands raised in defense.

“Its fine,” you waved off his concern, “I’m actually waiting for Jungkook,” you sigh pressing on your phone to see the time, “it’ll be six hours of waiting in five minutes.” You laugh bitterly, the puppy below you whines and with the pitied look Hoseok gives you he might as well have done the same.

“Have you eaten?” You perk up, you had a small trail mix before you left the hotel you checked into, but that was over five hours ago.

“No..”

“We can go grab a late lunch if you like?” He offers rocking on his heels nervously.

“That sounds amazing, I’ll send a quick text to Jungkook.” Hoseok gently grabs your wrists just as your fingers brush against your phone case.

“Don’t. If he kept you waiting this long you shouldn’t offer him any solace like updating him on where you are.” You hesitated to agree. Yeah, Jungkook kept you waiting (just like he wanted) but that didn’t mean you wanted him panic if he got here and saw you were gone..

And speaking of the devil.

“Baby,” Jungkook appeared beside Hoseok, smiling while he sized up the male. He hadn’t seen him since college. He looked slightly different; he grew his hair out and packed on a few muscles. Not like Jungkook’s though, Jungkook was better, or thats what he told himself because you were not just eye fucking Hoseok… right? It’s funny really how upset he is by the idea of you checking out another male while he fucks Jana, but it’s different for him.

Jungkook’s not surprised when he sees you that you’re glaring at him, topping off your display of anger while crossing your arms. “What the hell took you so long?” You avoid looking at Hoseok who shuffles on his feet awkwardly feeling out of place. This conversation — upcoming argument -- is not meant to be heard by him clearly, especially by the way Jungkook keeps narrowing his eyes at him.

“Didn’t look like you needed me anyway, Hoseok here seemed to be keeping you plenty company.” You scoff at his accusatory tone, shaking your head.

“He just fucking got here! I’ve been waiting six hours!” Jungkook got quiet at that, he didn’t think he’d been running around with Jana for that long, time simply escaped him. He couldn’t escape this though, by the way you’re glaring into the side of his head he knows your attitude isn’t disappearing any time soon. What a headache.

“Yeah, okay, well you can continue chatting up Hoseok, I’m going home.” He actually has the audacity and walks off, he walks away from you after you waited six grueling hours in the Seoul cold for him to get there and fell asleep only for him to stay no longer than what two minutes? Absolutely not. Hoseok catches your wrists as you stand up to go follow him causing you to rip your arm away misdirecting your anger towards him. Upon realizing the confused and hurt look on his face you stutter out your apologies and then run off quite literally chasing after Jungkook.

What does she see in that guy? Hoseok wonders and if he asked that to you before you ran off, you wouldn’t know how to respond.

Catching up to Jungkook was easy. He hadn't even started up his car yet, he knew you were coming and after catching sight of you running out the open gates leading into the park he started up his car. “Kook, wait!” Jungkook bit back a smile seeing you panting as you rounded his car, even angry you cared so much about him. In an odd way it warmed his heart.

“What, Y/n?” He asked after rolling down his window.

God how did you two even get here? Jungkook was just supposed to meet with you, talk to you, fix whatever is going on. He’s late, he's in the wrong, then he shows up and sees you talking to an ex and now you’re in the wrong. Mind boggling.

“I fell asleep okay?” Bitterly you add, “waiting for you.” Jungkook chuckles, dissatisfied by your answer.

“You expect me to believe that you fell asleep at the park? Jeaus Christ if you’re gonna bullshit me make it a little less obvious yeah?” He begins reversing so you plant your hands on his car window and he stops eyeing your hands like he’s expecting something, an apology maybe? It doesn’t matter this is getting both of you further away from the issue at hand: the threesome.

So what if you have to butter him up a bit? At least you will finally fucking talk because truly you don’t want to have to even consider Namjoon’s advice. It's not like your whole world revolves around Jungkook, but it starts and ends with him. Say you leave him, then what? What’s next? Dating again? The thought of either of you moving on makes you physically sick to your stomach. So you need to talk. Now.

“Baby,” its hard but you level your voice, soften it with a little sugar as you lean down closer to him with the barrier of the car between you. “You know I only have eyes for you,” You say throwing his words back in his face, “there is literally no one else for me—“

“You were checking him out-“ he interjects and you shake your head because really that's not what you were doing. Thinking back on it you don’t recall your eyes ever straying from his face unless you were looking at the large puppy beside him, but Jungkook needs a little reassurance to open up, so you’ll give in.

“Kookie,” he bristles at the choice of name. You haven’t called him that in a long time, almost three years. You only used this nickname when you wanted to butter him up and now is no different. “I love you, okay? I love you, no one else. Me and Hoseok broke up ages ago. I chose you then, it's always been you,” Jngkook nods along to your words that undoubtedly feed his ego, softening up at your sweet words of affirmation and then you say: “Plus we’ve only talked like twice since college.” You say in hopes that he lets go whatever pseudo-male competition he has with Hoseok, but instead you do the opposite.

“What do you mean you’ve spoken twice?” He narrows his eyes at you, his grip on the wheel tightening.

You gape at him, fuck, that’s right he doesn’t know about the other day. Sighing you run your hands through your hair, “A few weeks ago I saw him when I went out for a walk-” He doesn’t let you finish before he’s scoffing.

“Wow, you’re unbelievable.”

“Kook, I saw him and we had a two second conversatio-” you try to explain, but again he’s cutting you off.

“He seemed way too comfortable with you for you to have only talked twice in years, don’t lie to me.” You want to scream at him, this is so hypocritical. Jungkook is trying to make something out of nothing whilst also hoping you get on board with his threesome idea, if anyone is cheating or seeking something outside of your relationship it's him!

“You’re acting crazy, Jungkook. You do realize that if I was cheating I would try my best to not get caught with Hoseok in public, right? Why would I go out of my way to talk to my side dude in a public space that I asked you to meet me at, hm? Think for a second.” Jungkook’s eye twitches at your words.

“You really calling me stupid right now?” He says glaring.

“Jungkook.. Can we just stop with the games? I’m so tired of this. I just want things to go back to normal.” Jungkook’s lips catch at the metal decorating his bottom lip.

He inhales deeply, “They won’t,” you furrow your brows, “I mean you don’t do anything I ask you,” and that, that hurts to hear. You do almost everything Jungkook asks, even if he doesn’t if anything it's the other way around; Jungkook won’t drop the threesome subject despite how uncomfortable it makes you, he doesn’t listen to you. “I mean I ask for one thing and you avoid me for days and start secretly seeing your ex?” You open your mouth to defend yourself but he holds up his hand silencing you. “What do you want me to think, Y/n?” His voice softens up the fight leaving his voice and when he looks up at you you can see tears in his eyes, “I love you, okay? I do, but I don’t trust you right now,” Your heart aches at the confession breaking even more as he looks away to collect himself. “I don’t know what it will take to get us back to before, but I need some time-”

“How much time?!” You bitterly chuckle gripping the car door, “How much longer are we going to be like this?”

The fight is back in your voice and you just as easily bring it back to life in him as well, “You tell me, Y/n! You’re the one being difficult it's not even a big deal-”

“To you.”

“Yes to me, you know I only have feelings for you, why can’t you just do this for me, huh?” Ah there it is, back to the threesome discussion once again.

Scoffing, you step back taking your hands off of his car, “It's always the same bullshit with you.” You shake your head in disbelief and turn away from him quickly walking off.

“Baby!” You hear his door close the familiar sound of him locking his car ringing out as you walk faster. “Y/n!” He easily reaches you grabbing your wrist, you rip away from his touch as if he burned you facing him with a hard glare. “Do you want it to be someone else? Is that the problem?” You want to scream at him, that no, that's not the issue, the problem is that seeing him be physical with someone else—even the thought of it pains you, but he’s already proven that he doesn’t care for that reasoning.

“Why her? Why did she even agree?” You demand crossing your arms Jungkook goes quiet for a bit before answering;

“She’s someone we’re familiar with,” he shrugs, “I don’t want to fuck some stranger, plus Jana is one of the few people in our circle of friends that isn’t taken and likes girls,” he watches you mull over the words your lip tucked between your teeth, a habit of yours when you’re thinking, “and I’ve caught her checking you out a few times.” He shrugs again, licking his lips.

“So that’s it? She’s attracted to me so you thought she’d be a good fit?” Jungkook nods biting back a smile, “how do I know this isn’t her plotting to steal you away from me?” Jungkook shakes his head gently grabbing your hips pulling you into him, right into his trap.

“Well for one, I asked her, and two she seemed thrilled by the idea of fucking you, not me.” Jungkook chuckles, lying right through his teeth. Yeah, Jana thought it’d be hot to have a threesome, but you weren’t the main reason she agreed, he wasn’t either, it was more so the fun of it for her.

You inhale deeply placing your hands on his shoulders, “If we do this won’t it make things awkward?” Jungkook pulls you closer cradling you to his chest, he can't hold back his smile this time and he can’t have you catching onto how ecstatic he is that you caved, you’ll back out all over again.

“No, baby, it’s just sex.” He mumbles, kissing the top of your head.

“Sex is what keeps us together,” you joke, but it’s painstakingly obvious that it's true.

“I bet she’s nothing like you in bed, I wouldn’t leave you for anyone, ever.” You nod into his embrace slowly opening up to the idea of expanding your sexual life. When you thought about the threesome you always pictured Jungkook and Jana having sex in front of you, failing to realize that you’d have to be included too, all three of you not just them and you watching, so maybe that makes it better. Plus if you mange to keep Jana on you you wouldn’t have to see them fucking at all… right?

You exhale a shaky breath, fisting Jungkook’s sweater, “She’d have to get tested, for everything.”

“She already did,” Jungkook informs you, jerking your head back you frown waiting for an explanation, “before she came to the apartment I asked her to get tested a few days prior, she’s clean, I made sure of it.” You nod looking down at his chest away from his eyes that silently beg you to accept his proposal and he must know their effect on you because he lifts your chin forcing you to look into those innocent doe eyes. “What do you say, baby? You want to have some fun?” He stretches his thumb up brushing your lower lip, smearing some of your gloss onto the pad of his finger and suddenly those doe eyes aren’t so innocent.

Gulping you nod. “Okay.”

It had been set for Saturday, the threesome. Jana didn’t have work on the weekends, you worked the morning shift and Jungkook, well, he didn’t really work. You would all be free after five and at six Jana was supposed to come over to your place.

And Saturday got here way too quickly.

You’d been anxious all morning; at work you had this distracted glossed over look in your eyes, some of your co-workers who’ve never even spared you a glance before asked if you were alright and with a polite fake smile you said yes, just tired.

And the day continued like that. Filled with anxiety and brushed off concern.

Some small part of you knew that you didn’t have the right to be as upset because you did agree to it, but the main issue for you is you also haven’t had sex with anyone else in years.

Jungkook has seen everything; getting naked in front of him was like breathing to you, no nerves, no nothing. Even after your minimal weight gain he still fucked you all the same and if he hated it at least he never voiced that openly. But now you have to reveal all the little things you dislike about yourself to another person. You didn’t lack confidence per say, you’re attractive you know that, but on top of that having to be naked side by side with Jana was unnerving especially with Jungkook having to watch you both, would he make comparisons? Would he gravitate towards her more with the excuse of the threesome? Should you just back out? If you did according to Jungkook things would still be disarrayed, but maybe it's better that way?

At the park last week you had requested Jana get retested, you trusted Jungkook’s word but you wanted to make sure, you haven’t really learned safe sex with women. Despite liking them you’ve only had one sexual encounter with another female prior to getting with Jungkook. With guys it was easier you just need a supply of condoms and no oral (which reminds you things would’ve been easier if your added partner was a male) but with another woman your options were limited, so a test was needed. Your phone dinged with a text, a group chat had been made with Jana, you and Jungkook.

Three-way

Jana: You guys like the name?

Jungkook: Its unnecessary

Jana: Whatever, anyways here Y/n 🧡

She sent you an email link that detailed her results, skimming the page you read her test results, she was clear of everything. Your last ditch effort of ridding Jungkook of his proposal was Jana having something, anything, hell you would’ve even used her having a urinary tract infection against him, but no.

Knock, knock, knock.

Jungkook was sitting next to you with bated breath his excitement overflowing, he grinned at you springing up from the couch, you barely caught sight of his back before he was off to open the door for Jana. The nerves were back again, full force, your stomach churned with anxiety. If you thought too hard about what was to come for too long you might vomit up your lunch. Your knee bounced as you heard them talking, the sound getting louder as they moved towards the living room.

God, this was an awful idea.

“Hey, Y/n,” Jana waved at you when you looked up, your eyes dropping down to her choice of outfit in confusion. Did she dress up for this? Jana’s clothing choices were always a little dark, but she’s never worn this much leather and is that makeup? Since when does she wear makeup?

A conversation you had with her previously she told you she prefers not wearing any makeup because it brings more male customers, they would rather get tatted by men, she chalked it up to sexism; if you look harder, tougher you can work an ink gun better, that’s what she told you her male clientele thought, you don’t know if you believe her because if anything her makeup makes her look even darker; black eyeshadow layered the corner of her eyes along with a deep red under her sharp eyes giving the illusion of eye bags, paired with a bold red lip. Were you being too observant of her? Or was it that you can’t tell if she dressed up for Jungkook or for you?

Well, she said yes to Jungkook’s offer so probably him.

“H-hey,” she smiled, a hint of amusement glinting in her eyes at your stutter.

Jungkook stood a few feet behind her, eyeing her, that feeling in your stomach shot up to your chest as his hands pulled her backwards into him. You're rendered speechless when she spins around and pushes his hands off, “Uh-uh,” she shakes her head, “I want her first,” Jana points a thumb back at you.

You can’t tell if the way your stomach flips is from anxiety or excitement, but that doesn’t matter as she approaches you. There’s something different about her, its fiery and dark. Maybe it’s because you know you're about to have sex or the fact that she seems more seductive, or is that just you? You take a glance at Jungkook before she fully blocks your view. His hands are folded behind him, like a good obedient school boy as he watches his lip tucked between his teeth. Once her leather jacket blocks your view you are forced to look at her, “Don’t look at him, look at me, okay?” Her demand is soft, her hand on your chin is not.

Nodding you opened your mouth to ask her a question, but her lips were on yours. A few weeks ago you didn’t properly feel her lips on you because you shoved her off, but now, now you can really feel her; you pray Jungkook doesn’t do the same, but you compare. She’s softer than Jungkook, if anyone looked at you two it’d be obvious she’s in control, her hand on the side of your neck angling your head up, she’s so gentle with you, her hands are everywhere, they aren’t that much bigger than yours and they're exploring, groping you.

The first press against your new abdominal piercing elicits a small gasp and then she presses harder, causing you to moan she uses the opportunity to slip her tongue inside your mouth. And you’re falling, letting her lure you into the deeper parts of lust and before you’re ready to admit it, you’re dampening your underwear. Her hand slides up from your neck to your curls fisting the dark locs.

When she breaks away you surprise yourself when you chase her lips with your own, “Breathe,” she tells you lightly pushing you back against the couch, her hand moves again. You’re so aware of every little touch, every little movement she makes is absolutely ruining you and then you remember with a half hazy mind you have an audience. Your eyes catch Jungkook’s just as she presses on your nipples pinching the tiny bud through your shirt, you whimper as she continues tormenting you, “you sound so pretty,” you look away from Jungkook to her, she’s amused intrigued by this display, your body wouldn’t make it to vogue, but she looked at you as if you were the hottest thing she’d ever seen. It made things easier, more exciting.

You allow her pull you up marching towards the hallway, Jungkook following behind and once again you’re trapped between them, but you’re okay with it. You accept Jungkook’s hands on your hips, his lips trailing kisses down your neck, it's only turning you on more. It’s when she stops, do you open your eyes, “Where's your bedroom?” She wonders aloud, Jungkook who's behind you snorts seemingly bemused by her lack of knowledge.

“The second door on the left,” Jungkook spins you around picking you up, his eyes wander over your face for any sign discomfort or regret and though the anxiety butterflies are still going strong you muster your best smile and press your lips to his, “Get in here.” Jana barks, pulling Jungkook’s arm that isn’t holding you up, you hit the bed, but don’t pull away like routine — except Jana is here.

When Jungkook pulls away for air you sneak a glance at Jana, she’s undressing. You try and fail to hide your gasp when she unclasps her bra, her eyes meet yours in a sly manner, she continues while she eyes you, Jungkook nips at your neck bringing your attention back to him, “How do you want us, hm?” Jungkook’s choice of the words—the implication a few weeks ago would have turned you off, offering them as a package deal sounds too intimate.

But it's not a few weeks ago and your panties are sticking to your folds.

“Baby…” Jungnkook pinches your chin turning your face towards him when your eyes stray behind him to Jana, who is now completely naked. “answer me.”

“I-I don’t care,” Jana disappears behind Jungkook’s larger frame only her nails in sight as she kneels behind him her hands running up and down the length of his arms, you’re not sure but it looks like he shivers from the simple touch.

“Mm, you want me?” Jana rests her chin on Jungkook’s shoulder, dropping her hands to his shirt beginning to unbutton it, “Take her clothes off,” Jana eyes the side of Jungkook’s head and he moves pulling off your underwear and sweats in seconds leaving you bare to their hungry gazes, “oh poor baby you’re soaked,” Jana chuckles moving from behind Jungkook to touch you, but also letting you see her truly declothed. Her tits sway as she crawls forward, her eyes are so dark she looks predatory. You’ve always thought of Jana as intimidating, with all her tattoos slash piercings and her bare face that seemed to be always set in a scowl, but it's hot now, it's attractive. She thumbs at your clit and you shudder. “Look at you all worked up…” she mumbles, leaning down planting a kiss on your thigh mere inches away from your heat. Jungkook moves to the side allowing Jana to settle between your thighs as he begins to undress.

It’s happening! Your brain fills in for you, it's really happening. There’s some lingering insecurity buzzing about in the back of your mind as Jungkook watches every move Jana makes to mark up your thighs, the fact that his gaze never leaves her fuels your uncertainty about this whole thing.

But Jana’s licking a stripe up your slit and the insecure voices go quiet. “Taste good,” Jana’s a talker, like Jungkook, you notice as she spreads your lower lips suckling on your clit, Jungkook busies himself with your tits, pinching your nipples as Jana eats you out. You can’t remember the last time you had this much attention from two different people sexually, you feel wanted. Jana moves down testing the waters she licks inside you.

“Oh,” Your fist her hair holding her close as your hips rock up to meet her mouth. “Fuck,” Your eyes shut as she moves back up sucking your clit into her mouth. “G-god,” Jungkook taps your cheek and you're met with the sight of his cock in his hand beside your head.

“There you go,” He groans when you take him into your mouth, just barely moving his hips to not overwhelm you. Jana doesn’t let up sliding two fingers into your entrance, curling them as your back arches off the bed. “Feel good?” Jungkook asks his eyes on you, you hum and he moans rocking his hips a little faster.

“C’mere,” Jana adds a third finger as she leans over you kissing Jungkook. You don’t like that visual at all. You roll your hips in a failed attempt to get them to stop, but Jana only thrusts her fingers deeper making you whine when she hits that one spot that has your toes curling. Pulling off of Jungkook you replace your mouth with your hand stroking him quickly.

“I’m gonna cum,” You warn, they finally pull apart Jana leaning down to kiss you instead, her fingers buried inside your cunt while her other hand rubs your clit.

Jana meets your eyes her lips brushing against yours as she speaks: “Cum for us.”

‘Us.’ Them. The both of them.

You do with a cry, your back arching, she helps you all the way through it curling her fingers, “Good girl,” She brings her slick fingers to your lips, “suck.” You do eagerly, there’s some weird internal need to obey every little request she has, some part of you hopes that if you keep listening to her she won’t need to give any attention to Jungkook—but the other part is also incredibly turned on by her dominating commands and the way she speaks to you. “You gonna make him cum too? Or do you only get to have fun?” You shook your head, her spit slicked fingers grasped your chin turning your head to the side tugging on your skin to get you to open your mouth aiding Jungkook inside.

His hips stuttered barely any assistance needed as he came down your throat fisting your hair to keep you still, “Christ,” You swallowed as you’ve done many times before acutely aware that Jana is here as well erasing the normalcy of your intimate act, but in your hazy mind you find yourself not minding it as much as you thought it would. “Come here,” Jungkook used that same grip on your hair to pull you up, sliding his tongue into your mouth uncaring of his taste still lingering on your tongue.

“Hm, is it my turn now?”

Maybe you were wrong about being okay with it because when Jungkook pulls away from you without even sparing you a glance the wariness and uncertainty about this whole thing fills you once again.

It all happens so fast—Jana’s underneath him her nails digging into the flesh of his back as he fucks her. This is exactly what you feared happeneing and it is—right in front of you. You’re not even participating, just staring. You come to the startling conclusion that it was never really about you, Jungkook just wanted the green light to cheat on you without you getting upset about it. Undoubtedly he’d throw your willing participation in your face if you raised concerns about the scene in front of you later on, and that makes you feel sick to your stomach.

You shouldn’t have agreed to this. Why did you agree to this? You didn’t even want to do this in the first place! You look away from them your heart aching in your chest, maybe this whole thing had one good thing come out of it—a realization, you do love Jungkook, it’s evident by the hurt you feel seeing him with—seeing him fuck someone else.

You’re about the leave the room, desperate to get away from them, this, seeing them together so intimately when Jungkook’s hooded gaze lands on on you, it’s almost like he suddenly remembered you, his girlfriend, is here as well. “Why’re you all the way over there, baby?” The breathless way he speaks makes you feel nauseous not only because it’s a clear result of his current actions, but also because he makes no attempts to stop thrusting inside Jana while he addresses you.

“Feeling a little tired,” You mumble, it's not exactly a lie, but it’s also an excuse, hoping that your confession will end all of this sooner. Unwillingly your eyes briefly flick down to Jana, she’s moaning loudly, her mouth hanging open as she shamlessly utters Jungkook’s name and swears over and over again. You try not to be like that out of respect for your neighbors, it’s like she wants all the attention on her as if fucking your boyfriend isn’t enough for her.

It’s almost as if Jungkook can see right through you because he’s saying— “You want me or her?” He asks delivering a particularly hard theust that has Jana crying out her eyes rolling. “me?”

Yes, you admit, you want him. You want him to give you his attention, to fuck you in front of Jana to deliver some sort of fucked up message that you are his girlfriend, this little group activity you’ve got going on here is just some fun, you are his partner you have him officially, not her. No matter how nicely she moans for him or wraps around him like a koala, she can’t have him like you do.

“Yes,” You nod, you expect him to pull away from her, come to you with your confirmation of wanting him, but he doesn’t, he keeps at it with Jana, his features twisting into a pleasured expression as he stills his hips coming inside her. “are you… are you wearing a condom?” You ask, that’s the only thing you can conjure up over the other thoughts racing through your mind.

Jungkook breathes heavily, turning his head towards you as Jana rolls her hips forward encouraging him to keep going. You don’t know what is going through her head, but the display isn’t sexy, you feel annoyed. “No, she’s clean.” He says sitting back on his calves, his soft cock glistening with his arousal and her wetness.

Right. She is clean, you saw her results, but it still bugs you that he came inside her. That feels like an unspoken boundary that shouldn’t be crossed here regardless of the threesome. “She could still get pregnant,” You mumble bitterly, Jungkook cocks a brow at your tone, your attitude clear.

“I’m on birth control,” Jana informs you, trailing Jungkook’s abs with her nails. “don’t tell me you’re feeling jealous, Y/nie?” Her voice is light and playful as is this grin decorating her lips, but you are jealous. You know you shouldn’t be, you’re with Jungkook, Jana is a temporary addition to your relationship — if you can even call this that. Point is at the end of the night, she’ll go home, you’ll cuddle up to Jungkook and never ever mutter the word ‘threesome’ around each other ever again.

Your silence has Jungkook moving closer to you. “Baby…”

You release your lip from between your teeth. “I’m fine,” You wave off his concerned tone that instinctive nature you have to keep up the perfect relationship act kicking back in. You’re slipping up in front of Jana who now knows what it’s like to fuck him (she already knew, but you don’t know that) what does that look like to her? Opportunity, your mind fills in for you. “let’s continue.”

“Then come here,” Your breath hitches as Jungkook yanks you underneath him by your ankle, “you want some attention? Hm? Is that it?” You glance at Jana, her eyes are closed still recovering from her own orgasm, you nod, you don’t want her knowing that him, your boyfriend, giving her all the attention actually upset you. “Why didn’t you ask me, baby?” Jungkook questions you, leaving open mouthed kisses along your chest. Part of you wants to argue that you shouldn’t have to ask your boyfriend to give you attention, that should be a given, and that you shouldn’t slip his mind the second he starts fucking someone else – but now isn’t the time for that. 

Instead you swallow you true thoughts and feelings and give him a sly grin pushing back his sweaty fringes, “Looked like you were having fun,” He grunts, agreeing with you that he was, ignoring the small pang of jealousy in your chest you sit up connecting your lips. He tastes like her, her lipstick, mangos. Pushing at his chest you settle on his thighs lining him up with your entrance. 

He grabs your hips just before you sink down. “Wait, I’m not ready yet,” You cock a brow at him. 

“Then get ready.” 

“He just came, give him some time,” Jana turns onto her stomach, her feet swinging innocently, “I wore him out,” she giggles. You bite your tongue keeping your comments to yourself. Threesome or not, her mouth is starting to piss you off. “Come on, Kookie,” Your eye twitches, you call him that. That’s your nickname for him among many others, but still it feels like she’s taken something else from you. He came in her, he gave her all his attention for upwards of twenty minutes and now she’s calling him the nickname you made for him? “Your girlfriend wants to have some fun too,” She stands stretching her arms above her head as she makes her way towards the door. “And I need to pee, don’t have too much fun without me!” She calls out, closing the door behind her leaving you and Jungkook alone. He leans back in you, to kiss you once again but you push him off creating distance between the two of you. 

Jungkook looks over at you concerned, “Y/n, are you okay?” Shaking your head you close your eyes trying to shove down the urge to start crying, that’s not sexy at all and any second Jana could walk back in to see just how much her shitty unfunny jokes have affected you. Implying that your boyfriend can’t get it up for you isn’t funny, you know it’s not true either. He needs time to recover, you get that, refractory period be damned, but it still rings true to an extent that he can’t get hard for you right now. And as much as you hate to admit and as irrational as it is you feel kind of insecure about that. “What’s wrong?” It’s this, all of this, you’re regretting it already, feeling bad for yourself. You should’ve just stood firm in your denial, you shouldn’t have done this, but you're in too deep now. If you cut it off in the middle it’ll only look worse. “Talk to me,” he cups your cheek forcing your eyes to him, “do you want to stop?” He asks searching your eyes for something, any hints of the emotions you’re trying so hard to keep at bay. “Y/n-”

“Can you kiss me?” He sports a puzzled expression not expecting your sudden request, “please?” You add softly cupping his cheeks, he nods slowly confused by you, but also wanting to ease whatever tension is rolling off of you right now and if a kiss can do that, then he’ll give you as many as you need. He follows you when you lean back on the bed keeping your lips on one another. “Do you love me?” You ask once you both break away. His eyes widened slightly at your question, he hadn’t anticipated you’d say that of all things. 

And you see it, the hesitation.

And it kills you inside. 

Jana returns pouncing back onto the bed eager to get back into completely missing or ignoring the strange silence that’s enveloped your bedroom.

And you do the same, you ignore.

For hours. 

You successfully take your emotions out of it and give into the lustful desires your body craves. 

And luckily for you, Jungkook, and your relationship it works, for now. 

You’ve never came so many times in one day. You pride Jungkook on a lot of things sexually, but tonight his stamina has proven you need to give him a little more credit. He didn’t make you watch the two of them together anymore either which is another thing you’re giving him credit for. He switched between you two, giving you both ample attention as you kissed each other or groped one another some small part of still you wanted to tell Jana to kick rocks, but you didn’t, instead you kissed her, hard enough to draw blood, but she didn’t mind reciprocating that same exact intensity ten fold. 

By the time you’re finished you can barely move. Despite the internal war you’re having with yourself over doing the threesome, you’ve never felt this peaceful before after sex, you're so exhausted you could pass out. Your legs, jaw and pussy all aching with your vigorous actions over the last few hours.

“I can’t feel my legs,” You say as Jungkook pats your thigh trying to change the sheets.

“Lift up for me a little bit,” You do your best rolling onto your side biting back a whimper.

“Thank you baby,” Jungkook gives you a peck rolling on the new bed sheets. “one more time for me,” You move again a whimper slipping through your parted lips. “you okay?” He asks, settling next to you, kneading your thigh that no doubt will have bruises come morning, you hum but that’s not good enough for him. “lemme see,” gently he pushes your thighs apart his fingers gently brushing over your abused cunt. You hiss backing away into the sheets. “shit, I’m sorry baby.”

“‘s okay,” You slur your head lolling to the side.

“Want me to start a bath for you?” His worried eyes meet your own and you give him a tired smile shaking your head no, truthfully you just want to sleep.

“What? No after care or words of affection for me?” Jana quips, you turn your neck seeing her standing by the edge of the bed, still bare.

Why is she still here?

“Sorry, Jana, that’s reserved for my girlfriend.” He matches her playfulness giving you a fond look. That’s what you meant earlier. She’s here for now, but Jungkook is your man, she will leave and this night will fade into the back of both of your minds as your relationship grows, hopefully strengthening as a result as Jungkook had promised it would.

“The only thing reserved for your girl it seems.” Jana says the teasing tone vacant in her words, it sounds like more of a snarl.

“Jana,” Jungkook says over his shoulder, his eyes narrowed in a glare.

“Sorry, sorry,” She raises her hands in defense. “move over.” She makes a shooing motion and lays down next to you throwing her leg over your center.

Why. Is. She. Still. Here? You wonder again. By now anyone else would get the hint and hit the road yet here she is, cuddling you.

“You’re warm,” She says with a small giggle nuzzling into your side. “you not gonna join us, Kookie?” You glance up at him, his face is the embodiment of your thoughts, he too must be wondering why she hasn’t left yet. “come,” she holds her hand out to him and hesitantly takes it, she quickly pulls him forward on top of her. “I want a kiss too,” She grins innocently, looking at him through her lashes. “pleaseee?” She whines. “just one-“ He shushes her with a kiss and you look away. You hadn’t expected him to actually do it. Another thing that’s bugging you beyond her not leaving is her kissing him outside of you all having sex. That is a privilege specifically meant for only the two of you to share with each other, not her. That’s not what the point of this was.

Their kiss is longer than yours was, more than a simple peck, you even hear her moan into his mouth. Okay, that’s enough. You clear your throat and she pulls away from him directing her attention to you, “What? Do you want a kiss too?” Your brows furrow you already got one from him, she slots her lips against yours, oh, that's what she meant. “there, now we’ve all kissed.” She grins, you return her smile with a smaller one nodding.

“Right… so did you drive here or…” You trail off hoping she gets that it’s her cue to leave.

“I’mma stay,” She hums the sound bordering on a whine. “I’m too tired to drive right now,” As she snuggles close to you, you give Jungkook a look, he simply shrugs and lays down beside her. This is not how you wanted the night to end, not at all.

“I’m gonna… go get a water,” You say, peeling Jana off of you, really you just want her to stop touching you like you’re lovers. You fucked sure, but she should have left, not made herself at home in your bed. Ignoring the exhaustion and your achy muscles you escape to the kitchen leaning against the counter for a breather. You can at least find solace in the fact that you finally did it, it’s finally over. Jungkook and you will go back to your old ways and Jana will be left with the memories of sleeping with the both of you.

You grab a water from the fridge before heading back to your bedroom. You can’t allow Jana to make you feel out of place in your own home. You'll be an adult about this and ask her to leave as nicely as you can. However Jungkook seems to disagree with that idea because the second you get back to the room you're greeted with the sight of her on top of him.

Oh.

It’s fine, you tell yourself, you weren’t in the room, but you did all just have sex it’s still technically considered part of the threesome, right?

It is fine, but that doesn’t mean you want to see it. You leave the room closing the door behind you to muffle her sounds and his. You’ll allow him this, he can purge himself of all those sexual desires he has and then come back to you like normal. This is okay, you assure yourself. It’s just a one time thing. Plus it’s not cheating if you know about it…right? These thoughts torment you until you passed out on the couch blissfully unaware of what’s to come.

read me it’s overrrrr or is it..? I really want to be done with this series  and focus on my other works but THE VOICESSS… let me know if yall want more - heads up if i do write more it would be centered around another love interest and jk would be more of a “background character” anyways thank you for reading <33

you lot are so fucking gross I cannot believe that you genuinely waste the oxygen on this planet. telling her what is fake and what isn't when it's HER life. God forbid someone wants to feel secure and keep their identity hidden. it's not that serious if they lied abt being Indian or not. but making up fake rumors, telling a pathetic gossip account that she got kicked out for "dating a white guys" u stupid brainless bitches, this isn't wattpad grow the fuck up????? going this beyond to lie and ruin someone's life is actually insane.

you'll never realise how disgusting you are for calling her "fake" when she opened up about her past. THIS IS WHY VICTIMS DONT SPEAK UP. maybe if it happened you and I did the exact same thing you lot are doing how would you feel????

recruiting new people everyday is a new low you lonely bitches reach almost every. single. day.

seek a life and maybe some friends or a therapist. whatever works for you I don't give a shit. if this is the only way you lot make money because clearly someone is paying you to be this obsessed get a job for god sake and act like adults since clearly one you is literally 22 years old. you're mentally and physically disgusting and insane.

synopsis numb to the feeling by chase atlantic

songspiration m.list