origin: wordstuck.co.vu promptsfrom: @vitasostatus: accepting
velleity: A wish or desire to see something done, but not enough will to make it happen or actions meant to pursue it.
Occasionally, she wonders what it’s like to have it all. Greater fame and looks to make all heads turn whenever she’d walk past; a seemingly perfect life in which pieces of a really complex puzzle fit together without having to search for their right place too long and everyone would like to have their curiosity satiated after receiving the smallest insight into her world. Sometimes, she thinks of a life when she is a little more than who she is or perhaps, a different sort of her and if things would work out in better ways. Now and then, Hyolyn finds herself questioning whether she did everything as right as she thought she had so far because there are days during which she doesn’t quite know what feeling like herself is like — days when she attempts to pinpoint the exact turning point of changes, days when she weighs out her options because now and then, she can’t brush off the thought that she doesn’t quite know what she seeks despite claiming otherwise.
Of course, she wants more for herself just like any other person but it’s that ‘more’ which remains a mystery to her; one which pesters her at odd hours when home is too silent but outside of it, the world is too loud and she, too unprepared. Tonight is not an exception much to her displeasure. The timing’s too bad and she feels less like herself in front of Somi.
Unintentionally, she looks at Somi and she can’t help but wish she was that young again just to have a second chance at doing things differently, at being a little different while keeping in mind the experience accumulated so far. She looks at Somi and she needs to bite down on the tip of her tongue from desperately pleading in a manner so unlike her that she takes advantage of these years because they pass too quickly and it dawns on Hyolyn that uncertainty crawls upon you without regarding age. And Somi, Somi is so bubbly — talented and pretty, full of life and energy, a different type of people person from Hyolyn. It’s not envy, not at all. But she is taken by surprise by the sudden desire to have what Somi has, even for one day.
“Unnie, you’re losing way too badly,” Somi says and she brings Hyolyn’s feet back on the ground.
She’s losing — badly, very badly — at table football, a performance well suited for the Hall of Shame. She’s really not that awful at it but exhaustion engulfs her in an embrace she finds difficult to not give into. Still, she forces out a laugh and moves her weight from one leg to the other, moving to the edge of the table.
“Sorry! I lost focus while strategizing for my next goal,” is the excuse she gives.
It doesn’t matter though because Somi scores again with too much ease.