#vinyl four

The Vinyl Four Battle #1

1 ) The Stipjes: Out To Lunch (Side 1)

Vs.

6 ) The Twins : Passion Factory ( Side B )

All right, let’s get right down to brass tacks. These are the 4 biggest calorie burners of season six, so let’s cue up the stylus and go!

1 ) The Stipjes: Out To Lunch (Side 1)

So I’m not really sure what else I can state about these guys that I haven’t already. Rip off records, so you know it’s extra sloppy (intentionally). They’re foreign (to this country anyway) so there is some slight accent, but I promise you, you will not care. It’s just the fun, drunk, buzz pop, lo-if garage you’re expecting from this label. Recorded in the middle of the 90s garage rock fever (June ‘96) and right on target for the demographics. Lo-fi = hi-times! Piss poor quality, “F*#@ you’s”, drunken yells, and your going to love every minute. The Stipjes awkwardly fit too many words into a sentence like no one’s business. Hits like “Better Things To Do”- with it’s buzzy fuzz punk. It’s over before you know it. “Baby, I’m a Rockstar now” will act as a retainer for your lame brain 3 chord chain. Relentless, shredding beats. “Rock ‘n’ Roll Sexmuziek” is definitely a different vocalist and not for the better, IMO. There are still SOME rules for this genre dang it! “Beaversong” is about...hmmm, well...gee what on earth could he be singing about?! I’m certain it’s just about little woodland animals that build dams. Yup. Actually there is a bizarre marriage proposal present. For real. “Problem” ends the album (after just 11 minutes!!!). These dudes are definitely 20 something when recording. At least I hope this isn’t an album a 40 year old would make! This tune is the faster one and more pop and IMO the best cut. This is about as basic as punk rock gets, and what I imagine most uninitiated think of when they hear the words punk rock.

6 ) The Twins : Passion Factory ( Side B )

It just dawned on me that Germany’s The Twins are also foreign and that makes this an INTERNATIONALRANDOMRECORDWORKOUT! Seeded in sixth position they have some “Stipjes” competition ahead, but the synth pop duo creates some smooth and catchy tunes, so I feel their German craftsmanship is up for the challenges. They waste no time and start straight off with their Gary Numan-esque “The Desert Place”. Their thickly accent is both distracting and attractive all at once. The melody employed is fantastic! Harmonies too for being only two (#seewhatididthere). “Nights, Lights, and Shadows “ is another tuneful twist. The one note accent drives the fear, the rest drives the infatuation. Playful but wicked. In fact, there is a dark edge throughout. “Younger Days” is the third cut. Tempo is slowed and Men Without Hats vein takes over. Missing Persons come to mind, and and some well timed pauses and hooks are employed. I guess that’s what I enjoy about this group. They at least show some diversity. “Wet Season” is more or less an instrumental track that bridges the gap between the last song and the next. It has a dark wave feel, but leads perfectly into what I might consider the BEST track on the whole album, “Synthetic World”. Let’s just say that the great keyboard sound of the 80’s was not lost on these two. Worthy of note is the stellar production too. Top notch. I think with a little better promotion these guys would have been huge in the states! You know a song is good when it’s stuck in your head after only one listen. The Twins are more than just a baseball team in Minnesota, they may well be the best new wave act you didn’t know about! These guys are German and they know it! They get right down to the Kraftwerk (#seewhatididthere) and SPROCKET!! (#seewhatididthere). Good luck finding any releases though, small label and considered an import. Dohrow and Schweitzer: two dudes, 2 geniuses. So good, you’ll think it was genetically engineered (#seewhatididthere). Synthy-staccato and supremely satisfying!

So today it was number one seeded The Stipjes Who were out to lunch. They ripped through 5 songs in 11 minutes and burned 67.2 calories in the process. That is 13.4 calories burned per song and 6.09 calories burned per minute. The Stipjes earned 11 out of 15 possible stars. The Twins took their passion and manufactured it in a factory setting. They took 18 minutes to run through 5 songs and burned 123 calories doing so. 24.6 calories were burned per song and 6.83 calories burned per minute. That earned them 11 out of 15 possible stars. It looks like our international battle ends with Germany’s The Twins on top!

The Twins: “Synthetic World”

https://youtu.be/RUyMPboyaCU

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