You stared in fascination as your father brought Ragnar and his group into the castle. They were a brash bunch but you couldn’t help your fascination as they began shouting and laughing at the fear in the Christian’s eyes. 

You peeked around the corner of the dining hall that was also the throne room. Suddenly your fathers eyes shot up to meet yours. He rolled his eyes and beckoned you out of hiding spot. 

You strolled over to him with grace only a princess could hold. Your red dress swaying slightly as you came to a stop. All the mens eyes were on you and a few were making crude jokes clearly not realising you spoke their language. 

“I think even in your villages it isn’t proper to talk about a princess like that. Am I wrong?” You spoke in there home tongue making them all pause even the beautiful blonde woman that was sat with them.

“You speak our language?” The blonde woman asked. 

“That is what happens when your a halfbreed. Right Father?” You spat at his kingdoms most frequent words for you. 

“Your part Viking?” Ragnar asked with an amused smile. 

“Yes my mother was a shield maiden. My father took an interest on many years ago when she was washed up on our shores.” You answered honestly as your father smiled at the memory of your mother. 

“I see.” The blonde woman chuckled as she watched Ragnar stare at you intently. 

“So which gods or god do you believe in?” A wide eyed, slender man asked his eyes narrowed in a glare. 

“I do not worship their false god if that is what you are asking.” You paused not knowing his name. 

“Floki.” He stated his eyes still narrowed like he didn’t believe you. 

“Hmm…You remind me of the god Loki.” You stated with a grin as his eyes widened. 

“I think he is Loki.” Ragnar whispered making me giggle which seemed to make the older man happy. 

“You must be Ragnar’s wife then. Lagertha?” You stated as you looked at the beautiful woman. 

“Ex-Wife.” She scoffed making you catch the smile that made it’s way to your lips. 

“I see. It doesn’t seem to matter where men are from. They are all brash and unfaithful bastards.” You snorted causing everyone to start laughing especially the shield maiden. 

“I like her.” Lagertha gave a pointed look to Ragnar who rolled his eyes. 

You nudged your father on his excessively large seat at the head of the table. He sighed but moved up so you could sit down next to him. 

You gave him a sweet smile which made him laugh before kissing your head softly. You were your fathers favourite and everyone knew that. Especially your brother who hated you with a passion. 

“So did your mother train you in anything else?” A big man with long wavy hair  asked carefully as he sipped his ale looking at Ragnar who nodded in interest. 

“If you asking if I could take your head off with a sword then the answer is yes. You are Rollo yes?” You asked softly making him clear his throat as he sat up straight.

“My father has told me a lot about your spree around England with Ragnar.” You commented making him nod quietly in response.

You father understood a little of their langue because you had taught him but instead of joining in he allowed you to socialise with your fellow pagan’s. 

Everyone ate and enjoyed each other company before finally your father rand Ragnar began talking about there deal. You rolled you eyes before blocking your father view of Ragnar. 

“I want to go with them.” You stated as he stared up at you with sad eyes. 

“Y/N my sweet rose you really want to leave your poor father?” He asked softly his sadness radiating through his small smile. 

“Father you have your successor and I shall visit when I can. I want to fight! I wanna fall in love with someone who believes what I do.” You sighed in your fathers home language making Ragnar look at you. 

“I understand child. I will see to it then…I love you my little rose.” He whispered the last part in your ear making you smile fondly and return his sentiment.

“Ragnar. I have another term for our deal, I ask you take my daughter with you when you return to your home. She wishes to be with her people.” Your father asked gently making Ragnar nod in understanding. 

“Princess Y/N wishes to come back to Kattegat with us.” Ragnar announced in his home tongue causing everyone to stop there chatter. 

“We are not taking another Christian home with us Ragnar.” A gruff man in the group scoffed and before anyone said anything there was a knife flying through the air straight passed his ear to the throne room door. 

He touched his ear to find in bleeding before standing up and starting towards you. You jumped up, lifting your skirt you could take out your other knife. He got in your face like he was about to beat you but you put your knife to his intimate area. 

“Do NOT call me a Christian. I will cut off your tiny little friend and feed it to my wolf.” You spat in his ear before he finally got the point and backed away.

“We will take her back.” You had expected Ragnar or maybe even Lagertha so say these words however you had not expected Floki to say it. 

“Thank you.” Your father said in their language so they’d all understand. 

******

You stared in amazement as you saw the village come into view as you absently petted your dark grey wolf. People were flocking to the docks waiting for there loved ones or congratulate people along you smile as you glanced at Ragnar who was staring at you.

“Is there something on my face Ragnar?” You chuckled making him smile.

“You are very beautiful.” He stated mischievously as he stepped closer.

“Don’t you have a wife waiting for you?” You replied teasingly.

“As my ex wife would say. That never stopped me before.” Ragnar chuckled as the boat pulled up.

“I see well maybe you should come visit me once I am settled.” You whispered in his ear before hopping of the boat with the help of Floki. You kissed Floki’s cheek before he bid you goodbye and rushed off your see his Helga.

“And who might you be?” A tall slender woman asked with a bright smile.

“You are dressed like a Christian yet our Floki does not treat you as such.” She added as Ragnar hopped off the boat following after you.

“This is my wife. Aslaug.” Ragnar introduced like he hadn’t just been trying to bed you.

“I see Lagertha has told me a lot about you.” You replied sweetly but she could sense the unsaid words that you did not like her.

“I see.” She muttered with a fake smile.

“Rollo said he would show me where I could stay so I will see you later Ragnar.” You said to the blue eyed man with a smirk on your face.

“Of course princess. I look forward to seeing you at the hall.” He chuckled, his hand brushing across your lower back as Rollo approached you.

Rollo grabbed your belongings hauling them up with ease as you stared at his muscles contracting. Viking men were built different and it honestly had your stomach clenching in need. These men could easily throw you about like you were a rag doll. 

You follow at his side as your wolf Shadow followed closely behind you, staring at people as we passed them. Everyone seemed wary of him but you ignored there looks and stroked his fur as you walked.

“I see my brother has taken an interest in you.” Rollo snorted as we approached a little hut.

“Hmm, perhaps but if I was to bed him the main reason would be because I don’t like his wife. I believe women who like to reck happy homes are witches that need a taste of their own medicine.” You chuckled making Rollo laugh whole heartedly.

“Your honestly is refreshing. You remind me of Lagertha back when she was your age.” He chuckled softly as he got a dreamy look in his eyes.

“You love her.” You stated softly as he lowered you belongs to the floor in the corner of the hut.

“Yes but she has never seen me like that. As long as I can fight with her I can accept that.” He sighed quietly making you smile.

“You’re a sweet man when you want to be Rollo. Maybe if you showed her this side she may change her mind. Women like Lagertha are independent and don’t need a man but that does not mean they don’t want one. Do you know her favourite food or drink?” You asked casually as you began to take your belongings out of the gold and wooden chest Rollo had brought in for you.

“Yes.” He answered curiously before sitting down on a bench that was in the hut.

“Well when we go to the great hall maybe bring her some food and a drink. Don’t say anything just sit next to her quietly maybe even converse with people around you.” You answered sweetly as you dug out your gold and jewels. 

“That seems a little simple.” He huffed with an eye roll.

“Women love when a man knows them. Think of it like Shadow my wolf would. When he wishes to mate he brings his female food and provides comfort for them.” You stated simply as you ran your finger through his fur.

“I see.” He nodded in understanding before glancing at your wolf.

“He seems rather large even for a wolf.”he commented as he stared at the giant dark grey wolf that came up to Rollo a waist meaning he was up to your shoulder.

“I know I have no idea why but I’ve had him since he was a pup. I found him in the woods when I was training. It was snowy and cold. His mother was dead next to him along with two other pups who were dead. They’d starved and then frozen by the looks of it but shadow was smart he caught a squirrel and then burrowed underneath his mother and sister. I buried his family and took him home.” You answered sweetly as Shadow nuzzled into your hand.

“He’s very loyal to you. Most wolves prefer to stay in their own territory but he happily followed you here.” Rollo added before he stood up causing the bench you were both sat on to rattle under you.

You let out a laugh making him roll his eyes once again before he set off to the great hall. You took your jewels and started towards a stall you’d seen on your way here that sold clothes. 

Once there you looked through the clothes before picking out a few things and asking the shop keeper how much. She stared at you with a frown before looking down at the gold with wide eyes.

“This is too much miss.” She stated as she tried to pass you it back.

“I know but I very much like your clothes and you work hard on them I can tell. Even my royal seamstress wasn’t that good.” You chuckled making her flush slightly as she gave you a nod.

“If you would like I could braid your hair for you after you change. You are going to the great hall for the celebration?” She offered kindly making you smile brightly.

You knew how to braid but not as well as the shield maidens so it was nice to have the offer which you gratefully took. She asked you what it was like to grow up around people in England and you asked her some tips on braiding it was pleasant and a lot different from any interactions you’d had with anyone in Wessex.

People may have not said much to your face as you are a princess but that didn’t stop you over hearing the horrible things people said behind your back.

You gave her your thanks and left the old dress with her telling her she could reuse it for whatever she wished. You collected Shadow from the hut before making your way to the Great hall with directions from a few people.

You opened the doors to the great hall your wolf at your side as everyone stared before Floki ran up to you with a childish giggle. He dragged you over to meet Helga who was sweet and very calm compared to her lover.

Rollo sat down next to you but not before passing Lagertha a drink of something and food. You smiled at the action as he engaged you in conversation. Lagertha looked shocked at the action but chose to eat her food and drink from her cup as she kept side eyeing Rollo.

“Well I’m glad you could make it Princess.” Ragnar’s voice stated behind you causing your wolf to growl as you jumped.

“Settle boy.” You whispered to him as he laid back down at your feet. 

“It appears your wolf does not like me.” He huffed playfully as he took a seat next to your other side. 

“Maybe he can sense you devious intentions Ragnar Lothbrok.” You giggled making him smile down at you, his ocean blue eyes shining with there usual mischief. 

“Would you like a tour of our lovely Kattegat?” He asks suddenly and his wife’s eyes found yours with a glare. 

“Hmm I would love to.” You answered sweetly, not taking your eyes off Aslaug. 

You stood up but as you wolf started to follow, you told him to stay making him whine. You rolled your eyes before pointing to Floki.

“Go sit with Floki.” You instructed and he glanced at the man before huffing and walking over to him. Floki stroked his fur as he waved at you to go. 

You were walking beside Ragnar for a few minutes before he moved slightly closer his arm brushing against yours. The white long sleeved dressed was comfortable in the slightly nicer weather Kattegat was experiencing. The dark brown detail down the front was pretty and you were happy to not be wearing the heavy dresses you’d worn as a princess. 

“You seem to be fitting in very well.” Ragnar spoke suddenly causing you to jolt a little.

“Everyone is nice here. It makes a difference from how people treat me in Wessex.” You chuckled as you looked at the small beach in front of you. 

“You were a Princess, how badly could they of treat you.” Ragnar asked sceptically. 

“Men were disgusted by me. Women were afraid of me. To my face they would acted accordingly however I overheard a few things they would say about me behind the kings back…behind mine. They would call me a witch,  say the only bride I could ever be was Satans which by the way is an angel that was kicked out of his heaven and banished to run hell, which is full of demons and people that have sinned.” You rolled your eyes making Ragnar laugh wholeheartedly. 

“Yes Athelstan told me much about Christianity. I believe everyone should worship who they want. I believe in my gods and Athelstan believes in his one god. We are friends despite that.” Ragnar replied with honesty his face serious as he looked down at his boots.

“I believe the same.” You replied softly as you took off your boots before stepping onto the sand with your bare feet.

Ragnar followed your lead, taking off his shoes before stepping onto the sand. He caught up to you his hand coming to rest on your lower back as you contrived strolling, watching the sea. 

His hand felt warm on your lower back, as his eyes gazed at you. You could feel it as it sent shivers down your spine. He shifted a little closer to you, his hand curling around your hip before pulling him close. 

You were pressed against his side as you finally stopped moving down the beach. You could feel his eyes on you as if trying to see your reactions to his sudden closeness.

“Do you love your wife Ragnar?” You suddenly asked making his eye widen though his hands did not move from your hips they weren’t gripping so tightly.

“I thought I did however I think I love that she has given me many sons.” He answered honestly his eyes staring into the darkness that covered the sea.

“I see.” You replied with a small smile.

“I could make you my second wife but I tried that with Lagertha and she left me.” Ragnar sighed softly making you smile.

“I am not surprised Ragnar I would’ve have left too. I have no desire to be your wife Ragnar. If you would like to take me back to my hut and fuck me though, I could definitely agree to that.” You whispered seductively before walking ahead of him towards your hut.

The walk wasn’t long and once the door closed to your hut Ragnar was on you. His right hand tangled in your hair, his lips were on yours as his left hand grabbed your waist pulling your closer.

His tongue stroked across yours gently yet passionately causing you to moan into his mouth his hands immediately trying to rip off your dress. You’d slapped his hands, pulling away from his lips with a grin. 

“Do not rip my new dress Ragnar.” You chuckled softly as you untied the brown leather belt and let it fall to the floor before lifting the white dress over your head and putting it on your chest. 

Ragnar took in your naked form appreciatively as he began stripping. His body was covered with a light amount of hair and muscle definition that you’d never seen on the English men you’d slept with. 

He was built like a beast and it made you clench around nothing, dampness making its way down your thighs. He finally stripped and was back on you, his hands immediately reaching for the back of your thighs to lift you up and laying you on the cold wooden table behind you.

His lips pressed wet, harsh kisses down your sternum nipping at the skin occasionally. Your soft pants and moans filling the air as you stared down at his very clearly hard member. He was big, bigger than you’d had before. 

Ragnar kissed your hip bone before nipping at it the sensation causing a shiver to run down your spine and a deep sultry moan to erupt from your chest. He glanced up at you with a smirk before he continued his path. 

When his lips pressed a kiss right above your slit you were desperate making you thrust upwards to try to get any kind of friction you could. However Ragnar decided hat wasn’t acceptable and slapped the inside of your thigh causing a shocking amount of pleasure.

“Stay still. Naughty girl.” He scolded softly before looking up to see your reaction to his slap. 

You flushed under his gaze as you avoided his eyes. Was that normal? To react like that to being slapped, you thought anxiously. Ragnar’s hands grabbed your hips tightly before he flipped you over so you were bent over the table. 

Before you could question it his hand came down on your ass the sound ringing through the hut. You whimpered, spreading your legs a little so you could push backwards, rubbing against his member. 

“Dirty girl.” Was all Ragnar said before thrusting two fingers inside of your warm wet heat with no warning. 

You let out a startled moan before pushing back onto his fingers eagerly. His free hand massaged the ass cheek he’d just slapped before delivering another one making you moan desperately against him. 

“Ragnar!” You moaned loudly as his fingers started hitting inside you at a different angle causing you to dig your nails into the table beneath you. 

“W-What is that?” You whined softly, trying to push back against his finger.

“I don’t know but I like to call it the magic button.” Ragnar chuckled before thrusting into that spot again. 

“Oh fuck.” 

Your moans were getting louder as they filled the hut, your stomach tensing as it prepared to unravel that amazing feeling you’d only had once or twice. Ragnar’s fingers sped up as he continued his assault on that magic button. 

“Cum for me sweet girl.” Ragnar whispered before his tongue was on your hooded bundle of nerves. 

The angle was awkward for Ragnar it he didn’t care as his tongue lavished you, his finger still never stopping. You clenched around them as his hand came down once against to slap your left ass cheek.

“Oh fuck Ragnar!” You screamed as you finally came around his fingers, your face pressed against the table as you hair splayed messily around you some of it over your face.

“You taste addictive.” He mumbled against you, giving you one last long lick before pulling away from your heat with a wicked smile on his face. 

“You ready my little vixen.” He whispered as he bent over you, his lips tickling against your ear. 

“Mhmm. You gonna fill me up Ragnar? Want you to.” You moaned, your tone needy but quiet. 

Suddenly he thrust into you with no warning just like he had with hi fingers before, causing you to push your back against his naked chest as you pushed him so far in your swore your felt him in your stomach. Your hands gripped his hands that were clutching your hips in an almost painful grip.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you. Want me to fill you up with my seed? Hmm fuck you so good and full.” He growled in your ear one of his hand coming up to wrap around your throat, not quite squeezing it just resting there. 

You felt so dazed from your previous orgasm and his words all you could do was nod to his teasing question. His hand squeezed softly as he continued fucking you slowly but hard. 

“Ah ah. Use yours words sweet girl.” He scolded his hand around your throat tightening again so most of your air supply was gone. 

You should’ve been scared but it only served to bring you closer to anther orgasm. You turned you face to look him in the eyes as you finally opened your mouth to speak. He released his grip but never moved his hand as he stared at you expectantly. 

“Want you to fill me up. Fuck me full with your babies.” You moaned, your head leaning against his collarbone. 

“Fuck. I have many sons. You gonna give me more darling?” He asked as his thrusting started getting faster and more rough.

“You gonna drop everything when I’m big and fat to fuck me when I need your cock?” You moaned as you threw your arm up to grasp at his hair as his tightened around your throat again. 

“I’d drop everything to fuck your pretty little flower sweetheart. Mmm you feel so good can wait until your pregnant and desperate for me all the time.” He groaned against your neck his hand on your hip coming around to wrap around your waist tightly as he began pounding into you at an animalistic pace. 

“Oh fuck! Yes!” You screamed loudly as you felt yourself clenching round him as you felt yourself at the edge once again.

His cock was drilling into that special spot that made you see stars, his thrusting becoming less calculated as he neared his end too. You tugged at his braided hair moaning his name as he tightened his grip on your throat and waist.

“Shit. So close.” He moaned in your ear as he brought his hand from your waist to your wet heat, his fingers massaging your little bundle of nerves.

“Cum for me Ragnar fill me up with your seed.” You moaned loudly before kissing him passionately.

Finally you felt your orgasm rip through you like lightening, your eyes falling shut as you pushed back against him, riding out your high as he finally came too. His hot seed filling you up so much you could feel it.

You didn’t get long to enjoy the aftermath as Ragnar flipped you back over and held you legs up in the air, your knees rest over his shoulders.

“Stay still sweet girl. Gotta make sure you stay filled up with me.” He groaned as he looked down at your abused hole.

You giggled at his actions but made no move to stand up, letting him have his way. You were starting to realised there wasn’t a lot you wouldn’t give to him.

After sometime he finally moved to wipe any spillage with a rag. You gave him a stuttered moan as he gave you a single lick his eyes filled with mischief.

“Beautiful.” He whispered before helping you up.

He didn’t leave immediately instead he pulled your firs over in front of the fireplace before starting a fire and laying down beckoning you over.

 “Your wife isn’t going to be happy.” You chuckled as you cuddled into his chest.

“Yes well I don’t much care.” He chuckled his hair undoing you braids gently, letting your hair fall free around your naked shoulders.

BANG!

“Y/N it worked she-” Rollo paused in his words as he took in your naked form cuddled up to his brother.

“Never mind we can talk tomorrow.” He snorted as he sent you a subtle wink.

“And what was that about my little vixen.” He asked in amusement.

“I may of given him tips on how to seduce your ex wife.” You smirked at him making him roll his eyes before placing a kiss on your lips.

“There you go, honey.”

Without even looking up you already knew who stood next to your side, presenting a large cup of coffee with one of those delicious self-made biscuits.

“Jer, I can’t thank you enough”.

The man laughed, seemingly pleased with himself after seeing the frown on your eyebrows clear up for a second. He waved your gratitude off and returned to his kitchen.

He had grown used to your visits over time. It wasn’t hard to miss you, sitting stressed in the corner of his little café, browsing through pictures and notes trying to decide which was the best one.

It hurt him every time he saw a lost soul enter his little café, in a rush and completely lost to the world around them. In you, he saw one of those lost souls. Busy, busy, busy... Overloading themselves with work.

It seemed as today would bring no exception. And you once again would ignore the beauty and comfort his café hoped to give to its customers. Especially when he saw you fiddling with a large package, no doubt filled to the brim with new photos for a possible lecture, he knew you only came here to work even more. Sighing, the old man turned around, reaching towards the different treats and cakes his little shop offered. He knew you would be there for a while and figured that the need for sweets may come soon. In the background, he could hear the familiar sound of your papers falling onto the ground. Accompanied by some swear words, immediately followed by mumbled apologies. And he could not hold himself back as a laugh passed his lips. It became a routine really...

Still chuckling, he turned around and placed a large piece of cake on a plate, decorating it with an extra piece of dark chocolate. The sound of someone entering his café made him look up momentarily, greeting the young man who just entered with his signature smile. The young man returned his smile warmly, before letting his eyes wander over the place. He had clearly never been in here before. His eyes narrowed once he focused on something in the back of the café, furrowing his eyebrows in worry. Skilfully, he walked between the tables and chairs as if he had decorated the place himself. To a small table next to the big window, where you were still mumbling under your breath about how life seemed to hate your guts. And it made the young man chuckle. Loudly.

Freezing for a second, you immediately collected all the pictures that had fallen off the table, carelessly throwing them back on the table. Refusing to meet the eye of whoever found enjoyment in your clumsiness, you side stepped back to your table. Hoping and praying that they would just go away. But they stayed.

“It’s good to see you’re still as clumsy...”

It was a good thing you were leaning against the table, otherwise you would have been knocked to ground right now.

“Mister Anderssen.” You nodded your head.

The young man pressed his lips together in a tight smile at the greeting, feeling a sting in his heart that he believed to have been long gone by now.

The long silence that followed felt dense and awkward. He was trying to make eye contact, his lips were turned up in a little, comforting smile. He did not know what to say or feel as he looked at how your body seemed to turn away from him. Your arms were wrapped around your middle, your eyes glued to the pictures on the table without truly looking at them. And then, his gaze fell on the smallest amongst them. He could recognize that gloomy setting from anywhere. His heart jumped, he felt overjoyed and the smile on his face grew larger.

“You kept it?” He breathed out, making it sound more like a question.

Slowly, he crouched down, careful not to make you run away. As he took the card from under one of the chairs, brushing some dust of it. Looking up, he waved with the picture he once offered you to use in your classes.

Nodding to himself, he kept his eyes locked with yours as he slowly came up. “You kept it.”

“I did” You spoke out softly.

***

“Fuck”

The curse had left your mouth before you could hold it back, as you watch yet another one of your cards fall on the ground.

It was good that none of your students had the habit of arriving in time for your class. Choosing to rather arrive just in time for the lecture to begin instead of showing some interest and being there before it began. Otherwise, they could enjoy this little comedy show as you desperately tried to stick those cards on a timeline.

You had never thought that one day, you would stand in front of class, as a teacher. Talking about something that had been a passion for so many years. Movies are a piece of art, a way to express and communicate. And now, you had the power to let others see that as well.

And even thought the path of being a teacher had crossed yours rather unexpectedly, it had made you happier than you’ve ever been.

And it had let you to some beautiful and interesting moments.

Looking down at the picture in your hands, a warm feeling overcame you, painting a very small smile on your face. It was a simple photo of a man standing alone in the street. The sky was pitch black; the only light provided by a single streetlight on the far right. The yellow light cast dark shadows on the ground. And on the left, almost completely hidden in the shadows, you could see the silhouette of another man. His back was turned to the man he had left behind under the streetlight. And thus, he missed how the other reached his hand out in a desperate attempt to call him back.

Every year you would collect pictures to show off how a simple setting can bring out different emotions to an audience. This scene would often bring feelings of sadness, grief, loss, misery and heartbreak to your students. Ironically, this scene brought you only a warm feeling. The beauty of the shot together with the memory of how you had come across this movie, cancelled out those unhappy emotions.

Completely lost in the moment, you almost jumped up when two hands sneaked around your hips.

“Morning”

His voice was raspy as he failed to conceal the chuckle that passed his lips.

“Morning, mister Anderssen”

He laughed, rubbing his nose in the crook of your neck. He found it almost amusing how you spoke so formerly to him now when at night...

“Mister?”

You rolled your eyes, fighting your way out of his grip. Without giving one look to the young man behind you, you picked up the card that fell out of your hands. Looking down at it again, you sighed and returned to your desk. The classroom needed to be ready before the students would arrive.

“I thought we made an agreement; you would not visit me this early to avoid suspicion, right?”

Alex smacked his lips, nodding his head slowly. He played with the straps of his backpack as his mind brought him back to that memory. It was around three weeks ago; you were collecting everything to go home after a long day when the young man suddenly sneaked in to share some ‘alone time’. Sadly enough, another student had forgotten her scarf that day and ran back to retrieve it. Even though you tried your hardest to not succumb to his advances, his willpower was way too strong. And the poor girl had almost walked in on you and him kissing. He had pushed his luck too far that time.

Still, if he could, he would not take that moment back. Every second spend with you was worth it.

“It’s nice to see you still like that picture...” He said, pointing to the card in an attempt to effort to change the subject. “After you told me what subjects we would discuss in the future, I immediately thought of that movie and-”

Alex’ voice died once your eyes met his. He was always the first to enter your classroom. In those moments you always could be yourselves. There was no reason to hold back. In that way, these few minutes of privacy would always be filled with love and jokes, stolen kisses and hugs. He couldn’t really recall the precise moment his dream came true, and you returned his affection. The way to earn it had been long and filled with obstacles. The boundaries that needed to be crossed were great. And it felt unlawful, disgusting, wrong... And still, so right.

Now, as he stood only a few feet away from you, it felt like a mile. Your eyes danced across the room, only meeting his for a mere second before quickly darting away again. Your hands brushed some imaginary dust of the picture, while you tried your hardest to breath normally. Little signs of how the nerves started to creep up.

“If you want other recommendations...” He tried, but again... The strength in his voice died before he even finished his sentence. Alex grew concerned as he watched you turn around and hung up the card. The whole thread portraying different scenery throughout film history over the last 50 years shook as you clumsily pined it next to a very bright photo, depicting two children running around at a fair.

Alex frowned when you still did not respond to him. Softly, he moved his hands to rest on your shoulders, trying to turn your body towards him. His head was lowered down a bit, a friendly look on his face as he shakily asked: “What’s on your mind?”. Hoping that whatever bothered you, he could help you solve it.

You didn’t need to see his face to know how his eyebrows were scrunched up with concern. Or how his mouth was slightly twisted as he pondered over who or what could have made you behave so coldly.

But the reason was crystal clear to you.

The adoration you had received from the man in front of you was overwhelming. These past months have been a dream. Almost indescribable. Just as all those sappy quotes on Pinterest say: some things just need to be felt. And this, this felt great.

It had been great.

Felt.

Had.

You bite your lip, feeling nervous all the sudden. Turning around, you tried your best to avoid his blue eyes. They were hypnotizing, demanding for a reason, an explanation.

“Mister Anderssen-” You started again.

“You know, we never did that kind of play, but I am open to anything.” He tried. His attempt to lighten the mood was only met with silence. A silence that felt deafening. And it made his stomach turn.

With his finger and thumb, he slowly lifted your chin up, forcing you to meet his eye. He was a bit taller than you, and he loved that. He used it to his advantage on every occasion he got.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked again.

You sighed, feeling it was better to speak the truth. “This.” You answered, “Us.”

Alex lifted one of his eyebrows, scratching the back of his neck. “Us? What's wrong with us?”

“You’re smart, Alex.” You answered. “Deep down, you know.”

Alex eyes widened. He was speechless, dumbfounded.

“I am a teacher, your teacher to be exact.”

“And you’ve been teaching me amazing things.” He snickered, wiggling his eyebrows.

You snorted, shaking your head. Until you remembered what you wanted to share with him, and your face went blank again. It was almost impossible to not give in, to hold back your laughter when he was around. But you had to.

“Alex.” You said, pushing him lightly away. “The age gap is way too big.”

His hands tightened their grip on your hips as he turned your body more towards him. His eyes narrowed. And although they still sparkled, the hurt he felt could not be hid. The time he could hold back secrets had long passed.

“What made you start doubting us?” He asked.

You sighed, looking down at the ground.

“What if I said... What if the doubt never left? What if it was a thought that always bugged me?”

That made him halter. His muscles stiffened for a second. A millisecond in which he let the guard down and his pain became visible. But just as quick as it fell, the wall was back up again. He stood upright, the hands on your hips now slowly making their way up towards your shoulders. The corner of his lips was pulled up, a fine grin that silently asked you to laugh or say it was just a joke. That it wasn’t the truth.

Alas, it was the truth.

The lingering thought that had been filling your mind with doubts and questions for a while now. Making you question yourself and your choices, but above all, the day on which you gave into his charm.

He was a young, handsome man filled with life and chances. He was almost at the end of the first big chapter in his life, ready to begin a new one, to step into an adventure. After this... Did he want to work somewhere? Move back in with his parents? Maybe he wanted to travel? See the world after being closed off from it after keeping his nose in his books all the time. He could explore, try to discover who he really was. And... Fall in love with someone else. Someone … more of… his age.

How could you hold him back from that?

His thumbs started to stroke small circles of comfort on your neck, while he kept on trying to make eye contact with you. With each passing second, he felt himself grow more uneasy and lost.

“Little one... Love.” Alex winced as he saw you flinch with each nickname that passed his lips. His voice pitched and he sounded in a rush, as he wanted to find a way to ease those doubts. “Y/N, what...?”

The corner of your lip twitched in a weak effort in making a smile appear on your face. It failed horribly, as you felt yourself get overwhelmed by guilt and sorrow. “We have to stop this now, Alex.” You managed to make out. “It’s done.”

In the back of the room, he could hear the slow ticking of the big silvery clock. It was only five minutes until the lecture would begin. Any time now, someone could enter the room and walk in on their teacher standing in a, what they would think, romantic embrace with her own student. It only made you more nervous and desperate to get out of his hold. To just say goodbye. To leave this all behind and start new.

Alex squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head widely. “The age gap is just a number, not even a high one. You want me as much as I want you, right?”

“I do- I- I did. And now, I am ending it.” You said, biting the inside of your cheek to stop the stinging feeling in your eyes. “I am letting you go.” you whispered, finally pushing his arms away.

Alex breathed in deeply, stepping forward as you took a step back. Again, and again, you shoved his hands away. He tried to make contact, to touch your arms, to hold your hands, but every time you slapped his hand away. And his heart broke as you kept on avoiding him. He grew frustrated.

“What do you want, Y/N? Since when are you afraid? So, what if they say something? We- We are the ones in love! They-”

“Alex! It’s done! I don’t want this anymore. I don't want- I-”

At this point, he felt the blood in his veins boiling. His heart clenched. His stomach turned. “So, we-this meant nothing to you?”

“That’s a low blow, Alex” You bit back.

“What do you want, Y/N?!”

“I don’t want this. I don’t want you anymore, Alex! This is done! Over!”

He scoffed, his fists clenched at his sides while his chest went up and down with every heavy breath.

“Over? Why are you acting like this? When have you turned into this scarred shell of-”

“I don’t care if you don’t see the problem. Someday you will. And you will understand I made the right call.”

The clearing of a throat ended the discussion sooner than Alex would have wanted. Another student had entered the classroom. Her eyes were wide open as she stared at her teacher and the class top student. Her mouth was slightly open as she tried to form a sentence, but no sound seemed to pass her lips.

You swallowed, quickly wiping a fallen tear off your cheek, stepping even further away from Alex, whose eyes were still glued to you.

“Good afternoon, miss Tuffin. Please take a seat.”

Alex slightly shook his head from side to side, unable to comprehend the situation.

“So, mister Anderssen. Now that you know your answer, please take a seat.” You said quietly, flinching as your voice cracked a bit. Your eyes did not meet his anymore, even though he was hoping you would look him in the eyes again. He knew deep down you did not mean one word of the things you had said. "Class will begin soon.”

***

The silence that had formed was killing the both of you. No one knew what to say or do. The awkward tension held him back from taking the first step, the fear mixed with the embarrassment from a few moments earlier made it impossible for you to move. It felt strange to be in each other’s presence without having the ability to look each other in the eye for longer than a few seconds. And even stranger to know how different this was only a few months back. You had resorted to dust off the pictures that had fallen onto the ground while Alex let his eyes wander around. He did not know what overcame him as he walked up to you. The little café had never come to his attention before. He blamed the big buildings that flanked the warm place for that. As he stepped in, looking for a place to enjoy a good cup of coffee, he wished he had discovered it a long time ago. The mismatched tables and chairs, the hanging lightbulbs, the old paintings decorating the flower wallpaper… Everything breathed out comfort and safety.

The older looking man had greeted Alex with a warming smile, until both men were distracted by the loud curses of a woman in the far back of the café who had dropped her papers all over the floor. Alex did not know whether to laugh or run away when he saw that you were the poor soul collecting all the different photos of the ground. And before he even knew it himself, he stood in front of you. Trying his best to make a casual conversation, without losing his cool.

He was failing miserably.

He really wished the sudden urge of confidence hadn’t left so suddenly.

Jeremy frowned upon the sight in front of him from his place behind the counter. The large piece of cake he had prepared for you earlier stood abandoned next to him. He had never seen that young man in your presence before. Every day you visited his little café alone. Never were you accompanied by a friend, nor had you ever invited one. He could not help the chuckle that passed his lips as he saw the strange boy fumble his way towards your table. But by the way his steps slowed down with each second and how he now stood before you as if he had committed a crime, the old man could not help but wonder what your relationship had damaged to become so uncomfortable.

“Y/N…” Alex started, sighing as he noticed you close your eyes for a second, turning your body slightly away from him.

“Y/N.” He tried again; his voice sounded a bit stronger, more certain. As if he had found his courage and willpower again. But then it crumpled again, his shoulders dropped as he frantically tried to make eye contact. “I am happy to see you again.”

This made you look up. “Me too.” You nodded. “How are you?”

Alex snorted, looking around the café as he tried to find words. Why had it become difficult to speak to you? “Good?” He nodded, more to convince himself than you, “Yeah, I have been good. Taking pictures, trying to improve my photography-“

This made you laugh, the sound making his heart jump for a second. “As if you needed any more improvement.”

Alex bit his lip, glad that you weren’t paying attention to his red flushing cheeks. He breathed out deeply as he looked down at the different cards. His eyes glided over the different pictures depicting scenes of romance, hope, grief and so on. Without saying anything, he sat down, flipping through them one by one. Some of the pictures made the corners of his lips slowly turn up, while others made his brows furrow.

This gave you the opportunity to finally take a look at him. His hair had gotten longer since the last time you saw him. Back then it was cut short, but now his long locks were held together in a little man bun. His jaw was accented by a subtle beard. It’s crazy how much he changed in a few months time… Yet he still looked as dashing as back then.

“I still think this one is the best.” He smiled, showing you the gloomy picture from earlier.

His words made you snap out of your daze, clearing your throat as you took a seat opposite from him after he arched one eyebrow, pointing to the empty chair.

“That’s a shocker,” you shrugged, “You came to me with that movie.”

Alex nodded, the confident smile on his lips reached his eyes for the first time, making them shine bright. However, that light quickly died. Absent-mindedly, he let his finger wander over the picture, contemplating if he should speak up about the shared past or not.

“I… I knew we would meet again, you know? Well, I hoped”

You looked down at your coffee, once again escaping his eyes while wrapping your hands around the lukewarm beverage. It didn’t offer you much comfort anymore.

“Now that I am older,” He lightly joked, “More mature, more-“

“Alex” You interrupted his train of thoughts. “Don’t- Don’t do that.”

“Maybe now you can give me the real reason as to why you gave up on us so easily.” He continued, his voice was low, almost a whisper but the sneer in it could not be ignored. All of the sudden, it felt as if you were on the artic. The blood in your veins ran cold as he had backed you up in a corner. Alex knew he could have pushed you even further away from him, but simply needed to know. The young man sat there before you with his heart beating loudly in his throat. His jaw was clenched, and his fingers lightly drummed on the table.

You sighed, not daring to look into his eyes. Before you even opened your mouth to answer his burning question, he softly spoke up again. “The truth, please.”

You laughed dryly, now really feeling trapped under his demanding stare and the growing tension between the two of you. “I did not want to.” You confessed, feeling your eyes well up. “I really… I really loved you, you know? The time I shared with you was wonderful, and I want you to know that it wasn’t your fault or anything… I just let myself get carried away by my feeling for you, Alex.”

“And why is that a bad thing?” He asked, not understanding your motive.

You grinned, looking at his confused face. “I was your teacher, Alex. We had this conversation before, I wasn’t-“

His hand immediately flew towards your hand, making you fall quiet. “So what? I never cared. Not then, not now. I am no longer your student, there is no reason anymore to hold back anymore.”

You snorted; he would never change. He would always be this cocky little brat and-

“Wait. What do you mean… ‘no reason to hold back anymore’?”

He grinned, squeezing your hand a bit. “I always hoped we could meet again, so I could tell you should not be afraid of our relationship anymore. Or your feelings. Or… us. Don’t say anything because I know that fear held you back. We can be together, Y/N! Please, just-just leave behind your doubts for once. Don’t give a fuck about other people!” He said, his voice becoming louder with each word, growing with passion. “Put yourself first…” His face sprouted a smile, but it was not one of happiness or relief, no, it was because he felt helpless. He could feel you slipping right through his fingers again as he saw you shaking your head. He saw the doubts written all over your face. The questions rummaging through your mind. Was he being truthful? Was it unethical? Could you just start over again and continue this relationship? Was it worth the risk? “Just, choose with your heart for once. You know my feelings for you, but I am waiting for you.”

His words warmed your heart and made the corners of your lips turn upwards slightly. The worries clouding your minds made it hard to really focus on his words, still… You could no longer deny how he made you feel deep down.

As you licked your lips, the both of you suddenly got shaken out of your little bubble by a friendly voice complimenting the handsome man in front of you.

“My dear boy, you could not have a better timing. She really needs someone to make her laugh and escape that world of hers full of work and deadlines she dares to call a life.” Jeremy laughed, waving off your shocked expression, knowing you were about to contradict him. “You both need each other, children.” He paused, placing down two cups of coffee, accompanied with two large slices of one of his famous cakes. “Listen to an old man’s wise words.” Without any further words, and still ignoring your shocked face and Alex’ gestures that he had not ordered anything yet, he left the table to go back to his counter.

From there, he watched how you both broke into a fit of laughter, figuring it was better to enjoy the food and drinks than let them spoil. As Alex shrugged his shoulders and took a careful first bite of the pie, you took a first sip of your new and cup of coffee, never breaking eye contact with him. And… it felt good.

The old man behind the counter watched proudly as the two of you slowly picked up a conversation, sharing what you had been up to these past months to the finest details. The words suddenly came easily and talking felt comfortable again. Laughs, giggles, and loud exclaims of shock and delight were audible throughout the whole café, often making the other customers look up from their spot in the far back of the café. But you couldn’t be bothered by them. No, you were far off in your bubble. A bubble that was warm and joyful, filled with light and love now that Alex was in it.

And as the hours passed and the second slice of pie had been devoured, Jeremy’s heart filled with joy as he saw how your hand was still in the hands of that handsome boy.

He was the last of his brothers to find love, it left him bitter watching them have families. Explaining why Uncle Ivar was in the wheel chair, using the crutches. He locked himself in a glass tower and he didn’t want to shatter his way out. And then he met you. Through luck, or the crossing of stars, the Gods answering his lonely prayers, he didn’t care to think what it may have been but you were in his life and there was a glimmer of happiness for the first time. Because you accepted him; even with the metal wheels that rolled with him. 

You loved his arms, rippled and muscular and strong as he pushed himself, wrapping around you for embraces, always lingering on your body in some way. You never pushed him to do more than what he was comfortable but it was nagging at him—you could have anyone but you chose the crippled man in the wheelchair. You hated when he said that. And even you asking him if he wanted you like that, never seemed to dull the sharp end of this mental spear that you would laugh. Tease and ridicule him like everyone else.

Candles were burning when you came out of the bathroom. Ivar was sitting in the bed with eyes not unlike a young canine. He had the whisper of a smile on his mouth when he saw you. Dawned in a softly colored nightgown, laced details and silk to touch as you walked over to him. 

“We’ll go slowly, and if you want to stop, tell me,” You tell him softly, hands molding the muscles in his chest as you lean down to kiss him. All Ivar can do is nod, voice lost and swamped as you crawl over him. You take his lap like a throne and you’re his queen, straddling him and there’s a gasp from Ivar as you sit on him. The soft smile graces your lips as you lean closer to him, catching his mouth with yours and you wait for his hands to take to their journey. Soft touches on even softer skin as Ivar’s fingers trace you, your body a hidden language, ancient or dead but he still knows it fluently. A gasp catches his ears when his hands grab your chest, squeezing softly and you feel how he grows from arousal below you. Rocking your hips on him and he can only give you heavy breaths as they pass through his chest. 

With his lips on your neck you moan, a sinful noise that takes up space in his ears and Ivar grows needy to hear is again, fingers dancing along your spine, squeezing where your ass swells and leaving no part untraced. His eyes grow twice as you’re bare before him, even though he’s seen it, this time you’re even more beautiful, more angelic and he’s growing excited to have you in such a raw way. He swallows thickly as you move from him, slipping his cock free and he groans as the cooler air hits him. You’re salivating at the sight of him, long and thick in your hands and he’s looking down at you like it’s a dream. One too pleasant that he doesn’t want to wake up from, but your lips wrap around him and his mind goes blank. Utter nothingness as pleasure blooms through him while you sink down, swallowing around him and you hum as you pull away, slowly jerking him and his mouth his open. Dropped silly with a heaving chest and you check in on him and he nods, crawling back to his level with a mouth that’s rushed against his. 

Ivar’s eyes stay locked on yours as you sink down on him, a low guttural moan ringing from him as you seat him fully inside of you and his head tips back against the headboard. You giggle some as he does, hands gripping your hips and you squeeze your walls around him to get him to look at you.

“Still alright?” You say softly and he nods. Through little flicks of your hips you work him, leaving no noise unsung as he stretches you, a delicious pleasure spreading and your thighs start to shake on each side of him. His thumb presses through yours folds as he rolls it against your bundle of nerves, watching how your body responds from his touch, and his touch alone and he feels the creeping of his first orgasm with you come closer. He doesn’t want it to end, the motions where you two are connected as he bares his soul on the floor for you to collect, putting his heart on a platter and you protect it, keep it like it’s your own and he’s falling for you. Ivar’s lips crush against yours as he tells you that he’s close, that he wants you to come with him and you can’t deny him that. Rolling your hips as you ride him and his fingers dance with your womanhood and he finally groans, shuddering as his arms are around you as he spills inside of you. Your own end right there as you fall with him, lips stilled but connected and in the first heavy seconds as the two of you come down you’re connected more than where your bodies meet. Hearts behind ribs beating for one another.

“Thank you,” Ivar whispers in your ear and you can only nod against his head. Tears in your lash line as he worships your body, the very ground you walk on as a high heaven he’ll never want to leave. Because you are there, and you are his.

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ivar has been pissed off many times in his life, but never, never has he felt this....enraged.

his eyes scraped along every hill, every mountain, every ridge, looking for a sign of movement.

ivar knew that if they didn’t show, he’d have a complete mental breakdown.

he looked down to the small tie around his wrist and felt a small twinge of warmth at the sight of it, but he could not will himself to smile.

he wanted to, but he just couldn’t. the small band came from his love, his everything....you.

ivar closed his eyes tightly as memories of you started scorching his mind and soul.

your smile, your voice, your laughter, your touch.

ivar angrily slammed his fist down on the edge of his chariot, catching the attention of a few of the men around him.

but they knew well enough not to say anything. they knew that if they opened their mouths, they’d be immediately silenced by an axe to the skull. ivar looked down at his now throbbing hand and seen a trickle of ruby red blood dripping from his palm down his leather bound wrists.

but the pain in his hand was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.

how could he have been so stupid? so reckless? so careless?.

it was his fault.

he remembered that day. that horrible fucking day like it happened a day ago.

everything was going as planned. the battle field was covered in bodies and blood.

the sight making ivar hungry and wanting more.

he remembered seeing you, happily swinging your sword, cutting any man who stood in your way.

each time you both caught each others eyes, you both smiled, giving each other a silent promise to be together again soon.

but oh, that was not the case.

somewhere in the battle, ivar had lost sight of you. he didn’t worry, you were a big girl who knew how to take care of herself, a strong, talented shield maiden. but, it did start to worry him when he didn’t see you afterwards. ivars eyes searched the field, searching for your beautiful blood covered face.

but sadly, ivar never found it.

hvitserk came from the woods, blood covering him from head to toe, his face plagued by sadness and despair.

he walked right up to ivar.

“where is (y/n)?” ivar asked, cleaning his lips of the familiar metalic taste of blood.

hvitserk didn’t answer. ivar stared at his brother with confusion.

“hvitserk? where is she?” ivar asked, his voice dark and filled with dread he was trying to hide.

hvitserk held up her small leather wrist band.

“they took her, ivar” hvitserk said grimly, his eyes leaving ivars.

ivar sat silently, staring at your wrist band, his heart feeling as if it were being shut up into a black box, just like how it was before he met you.

ivar swiftly grabbed hvitserks wrist, dragging him closer to his face, hvitserk clenched his jaw in pain, but he said nothing.

“what do you mean. they. took. her?” ivar asked darkly, his hot harsh breath hitting hvitserks cheek.

“i tried, ivar. i tried catching up to them, but it was too late”.

ivar cocked his head to the side and glared at his brother.

“i watched her as she ran into the woods after a few of them, i knew something was wrong when she didn’t come out right away. i ran in after her and seen them tying her up, they threw her on the back of a horse and took off. i followed them for as long as i could, ivar, but it was no use”.

ivar growled and threw his brother down to the ground. he didn’t want to show his weakness in front of these men.

but he allowed himself to show his anger. he went to smack his horses with his reigns, to go after you, until harald stopped him.

“ivar, they will be long gone from here by now. it’d be no use to go after them”.

ivar shouted with rage, one single tear falling from his eye.

“she is my wife!” ivar screamed, making the men around him jump with fear.

harald walked up to the chariot with courage and laid a hand on ivars shoulder.

“i know, ivar, i know. but if you go after them with no idea where they went you’d just end up killing yourself before you even got her back”.

but ivar could barely hear him over the blood pumping in his ears.

“i cannot just leave her with those filthy saxons” ivar seethed. harald made him look at him.

“if you truly love her, you’ll hold off and wait until we have a lead”.

ivar bit his lip to prevent it from quivering. hvitserk had seen his brother angry and upset before, but he had never seen him like this.

finally, ivar agreed and followed the men back to camp.

ivar thought he’d have had you back in a few days time, but he was wrong. days went by and turned into weeks, then they turned to months.

each month that went by ivar had lost a bit of himself every day. he was beginning to lose his mind not knowing anything about where you were, or how you were.

he could have screamed with happiness when he finally got good news.

harald had found out where you were, he had taken a man hostage and beat the information out of him.

he had told them that he would talk to heamond, by the look on his face he knew harald had done more than just beat him, he put the perfect ammount of piss-pants fear in him.

after even more waiting and waiting, heamond was finally going to let you go, but it would be on his terms.

ivar didn’t care, he just needed you back.

and finally, after eight months, he was going to get his wish.

ivars eyes scanned the filed once more, his body filled with irritation and anxiousness.

he couldn’t wait to see your smile, hear your voice, smell your skin and kiss your lips. ivar sat up straight when he seen a white horse fast approaching.

ivar seen the other men start to ready themselves, they were expecting a larger army instead of one man.

they expected him to come talk to them, but that didn’t happen. instead, this man dropped a large white sack on the cold, hard muddy ground.

then he sped away, not even casting the vikings a look.

ivar stared at the white sack with confusion.

 where were you?

he watched as harald an a few other men ran up to it, weapons high.

the men froze once they got up on the sack.

ivar squinted his eyes to get a better look. his anger diminshing once he seen what was in the sack.

harald turned around, facing ivar, holding something in his arms.

..........you.

ivar felt his shoulders sag with shock, his breath being knocked from his lungs.

tears stung his eyes painfully.

you looked so tiny in haralds arms, like a discarded doll.

ivar felt a harsh kick to his gut when he seen you up close.

your face was so swollen and bruised, your bottom lip completely split. chunks of your hair was missing, your clothes were torn and tattered, revealing more of your chest then usual.

every inch of your skin was covered in cuts and bruises.

ivar slid down from his chariot and on to the ground, he gently took you from haralds arms and looked at you closer.

he gently brushed a small strand of hair from your bloodied face and bit back a sob that rippled through his body.

his love, his woman, his wife......seing you like this made ivar feel completely numb and broken.

“we....have to get her to camp” ivar shakily said, knowing you needed special attention fast.

he felt you shift in his arms and kissed your bruised head.

“it’s okay, my love, you’re safe” ivar whispered to you. but you didn’t reply.

he felt you shift in his arms and kissed your bruised head.

“it’s okay, my love, you’re safe” ivar whispered to you. but you didn’t reply. your lip was busted too bad.

ivar watched as harald lifted your crumbled body onto a horse. ivar slid back up into his chariot, hvitserk went to help ivar up, but ivar twisted hvitserks hand away. “do not touch me!” ivar roared, his body feeling as if it were going to collapse. ivar wanted to breakdown and scream, cry and  he and you from the rest of the world.

but he couldn’t, he couldn’t be selfish and think of himself in this moment, he needed to think of uyou, and making sure you would be safe and protected.

ivar lowered his head as his brother backed away from him. harald wrapped his arms around your frail body, making sure you wouldn’t fall. ivar sniffled and smacked the rear of his horses with the reigns keeping his red, bloodshot eyes on you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

days went by and ivar hadn’t left your side, his body was beginning to weaken from loss of sleep and barely enough food to keep an animal alive. but ivar could feel nothing but pain, anger, and self loathment.

he blamed every ounce of his being for what happened to you.

if ivar would have made you stay behind, this wouldn’t have happened. ivar would be stone cold and silent when people would come in to check on you and him, but once they left, ivar’d cry and sob for you.

one morning, you started to stir in your sleep.

ivar jumped awake from his half asleep daze and moved closer to your bed.

“(y/n)? love?”.

it worried ivar when he seen you curl up into a tight ball and start crying.

ivar lifted himself from the chair he sat on and sat beside you on the bed. your whole body was tense and shaking.

“d-don’t hurt m-me” your quivered shallow voice whispered out.

ivar froze, staring down at you, his wife.

ivar, in all your years of marriage, had never, ever heard you sound like this. so broken.

you were the strongest woman ivar’d ever met in his life, nothing had ever torn you down like this. it honestly scared ivar to his very core hearing and seeing you like this.

“(y/n), it’s me. it’s ivar” ivar gently said, laying his hand on your shoulder.

it hurt ivar to see you flinch away from his touch.

“don’t h-hurt me!” you said, your tone louder and more aggressive.

“i’m not going to-”.

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!” you screamed, thrashing and kicking your legs.

ivar was shocked and taken aback at your sudden outburst, but that fadded when he realized that you moving around like this could harm your body and healing process.

ivar knew it was a bad idea, but he grabbed your wrists with one hand and wrapped the other one around your waist.

“(y/n)! you have to stop!” ivar said forcefully, he knew that if you didn’t, it would huirt you even more.

“please! stop! no more!” you weakly screamed, you sounded so tiered and so unlike yourself.

ivar leaned down and was now face to face with you.

“love, please stop. it’s me, it’s ivar....” ivar whispered, his own voice cracking with heartache and hurt.

you slowly stopped thrashing about and allowed your teary red eyes to meet ivars.

you just stared at him, confusion, fear and pain clouding your brain.

it killed ivar to see you look at him like this.

suddenly, ivar watched as your eyes slowly widened and cleared.

“i-ivar?....”.

ivar nodded slowly and watched as a fresh batch of tears leaked from your eyes.

ivar sighed when you practically leapt into his arms. your arms wrapped around his neck, your face buried into his chest.

ivar sat up more and pulled you into his lap as gently as he could. your sob cracked ivars heart into two.

he softly kissed your head and started to rock you back and forth.

“you’re here now, love, you’re safe” ivar whispered into your hair, gently patting it down, rubbing over your arms and back, trying his best to comfort you.

“i n-never want to go back th-there again” you croaked out.

ivar shook his head angrily, a tear falling from his eye and onto your head.

ivar wanted to ask you about everything they did, but he knew it wasn’t the time, you had just gotten away from them, he didn’t want to put your mind back there. “you will never go back to them, i promise you” ivar said strongly, hoping his hands were providing her comfort.

ivar was already thinking over the ways he was going to kill every single one of them. he imagined what the blood would smell like, look like, taste like.

he was more than ready to go and slice their heads from their necks.

no one, absolutely no one would be saved  ivar could feel his thirst for revenge building by the minute.

no women nor man would touch his woman and get away with it unscathed

as you sobbed once more ivar let his eyes wander up and out of the tent flap, out into the wessex land and allowed his head to be filled with images of war and revenge.

“i promise you, my love, i will get them back for all the pain they have caused you, i promise you, i will not make their deaths quick, i will make them suffer, i will make them regret the day they took you from me”.

ivar kissed your head softly and stared blankly out to the open sea.