#viewshipping

You made me watch you and III die! Yuuma is yelling, and, well… it’s true, isn’t it? Only he’d not thought of this, not thought of a broken child who’d been made to watch a friend die, and Chris isn’t his friend but Yuuma had had to watch him die too. And Chris hadn’t thought of it in terms of the aftermath because he’d not thought further than joining Thomas in hell, so now he stands here and looks at what he’s wrought and doesn’t know what to do, at all.

(he’d never quite known what to do with Kaito, either, never quite reconciled the boy he left behind and the man he’d come back to; he’d come to have some affection for Kaito the man, true, but truth be told he’d never really stopped looking for Kaito the boy, the one he’d left in the rain all those years ago)

He settles for reaching up to pat awkwardly at Yuuma’s back, eyes turning desperately to the others, and then Yuuma is pitching into him and sobbing; great, hitching sobs that don’t stop even as Kotori and another woman – Yuuma’s sister? – manage to gently prise him away from Chris and lead him away.

He excuses himself once Yuuma is gone, takes long moments to find a bench out of the way that isn’t destroyed and sits himself down, closing his eyes to try to ward off the oncoming headache.

Perhaps that’s why he doesn’t hear anyone approach until a quiet voice asks, “V-san?”

Chris looks up to see Kotori stood there, chewing on her lip a little, and when she gestures to the bench in a silent question he nods wearily, shifts over a little to let her perch beside him.

“I—I’m sorry about Yuuma,” she says once she’s sat down. “I don’t really think he knew what to do first. Everything happened so fast, you know?” She stops then, reaches up to tug nervously at the back of her hair. “Um, and Astral left after the duel with Shark – or, well, Nasch, but he was Shark at the end I think – and Yuuma said he was going to be okay with that but I—well, I think mostly he said that so that Astral wouldn’t worry, you know?”

She stops again and looks to Chris, waiting until he nods her on before she speaks again. “Sorry, I’m probably rambling, aren’t I? It’s just… well, like I said. Everything happened so fast, and everyone was gone, and then—then the Barians were turning on each other, and we had to get past them so that Yuuma could duel Don Thousand, and it…” Kotori looks down at her hands and seems to steel herself. “Yuuma was very brave,” she says, and her voice shakes but stays firm. “Him and Astral defeated Don Thousand. They nearly died, but they beat him. And then Shark came, and he wanted to duel Yuuma. And Yuuma kept saying that they didn’t have to fight now, that Don Thousand was gone so they could work something out, now, but Shark wouldn’t listen to him.

“I don’t think he wanted to win, really. He was very sad. And he… he said thank you, when Yuuma beat him.”

She falls silent then, with an air of finality this time, and Chris watches her for a few long moments; thinks about the broken boy from a few minutes ago, shouting about the people who’d already come back, and wonders if that was only to justify the tears for those lost for real. Thinks, too, about this small, sad girl, who sits beside him having seen so much but cares only that he not hold that outburst against Yuuma, that he knows that Yuuma was brave.

(you’re brave too, he wants to say to her, but the words stick in his throat and in the end he only nods and then looks away, awkward)

They sit like that a while longer, in silence, and then Kotori stands up and takes a few steps from the bench before looking back at him.

“Thank you for listening, V-san,” she says, voice stiff and brittle in a way that betrays her own exhaustion, her own sadness. “I’m going to go check on Yuuma now. I think he’d like it if you visited him later too, perhaps. If—if you wouldn’t mind.”

And then she’s turning fully and walking away, leaving Chris to stare half-bewildered after her.

(why the hell would Yuuma want to see him?)

***

Perhaps it’s cowardly of him, but Chris doesn’t go to see Yuuma even after that. He makes excuses to himself – what would he say to Yuuma? He doesn’t know him, after all, not really – and asks after him when Michael has been to visit, but doesn’t ever go to visit himself.

So he certainly doesn’t expect Yuuma turning up on their doorstep one night, much later than he probably ought to be out. It takes him a few moments to quite register that, yes; Yuuma Tsukumo is standing there and staring up at him.

“I—I’ll get Michael for you,” Chris starts, but Yuuma cuts him off.

“I, uh, I’m here to see you, actually,” he says, looking around almost nervously. “Can I come in? S’cold out.”

And, well, it’s not like he can just leave Yuuma stood outside. So he beckons him in, and Yuuma stands there and doesn’t speak, only glances toward the living room door and flinches a little when he hears Michael laugh from within. Which, okay. So whatever he wants, it’s… private, Chris supposes.

(he’s not cut out for this, he thinks to himself, too old and too young all at once to be dealing with the problems of middleschoolers – but when was the last time anyone from this war got to have normal problems?)

“Come on,” he says after a moment, “You can come to my room. They won’t interrupt us there.”

Once they’re in there, Yuuma only sort of drifts aimlessly about, half-heartedly examining the miscellaneous space-rocks and miniature models Chris has on display while Chris himself sits down on the edge of the bed and watches him. Watches and wonders where exactly the Yuuma he’s heard so much about and seen a little of himself has gone, because this quiet wraith drifting about the place certainly isn’t that Yuuma.

Is this, he wonders, the difference that Astral made? That Ryoga Kamishiro made, and the rest of them?

“V?” Yuuma begins abruptly then, so that Chris starts a little and looks over to him and—ah. When did he get so close? Chris doesn’t answer aloud, only nods and stares at him curiously, and so Yuuma goes on, “Will you kiss me?”

Which. What?

“I don’t—”

“Just. It doesn’t mean anything,” Yuuma interrupts. “I want to… know I can? That it’s… okay.”

He won’t meet Chris’ eyes, but he drifts in even closer. Close enough to put a hand on Chris’ face, to slot their mouths together. And there’s hesitance in it, yes, but it’s something Yuuma has so clearly done before and Chris wonders and aches somewhere inside him. Yuuma kisses with the brokenness of someone who’s been hurt badly and Chris wonders how he keeps finding the ones like this; how, too, Yuuma is the first that he didn’t make that way himself.

(he gives them hope)

By all rights, the Capitol should chew him up and spit him out, but somehow, somehow, it doesn't seem to affect him at all. Leaves him just as bright and full of hope as he started out, until he infects everyone he touches with it and for the first time, the people of the Districts begin to believe in something beyond the Hunger Games. Begin to wonder if maybe there's something for them, out from under the thumb of the Capitol.

Yuuma is fifteen when he volunteers for the Quell. His voice rings out loud and clear before they've even finished reading the name of the eldest male victor from his District, and on his way up to the stage he grins at the old man like it's nothing at all.

(Chris, who'd hesitated until Thomas had been halfway to the stage, whose voice had cracked on his first attempt so that he'd had to try again and whose knees had shaken with every step forward, watches his bright confidence and can't quite hold back a hot flush of shame at his own fear)

Even before they reach the arena, the plan is set in motion. Even before they reach the arena, Chris is prepared again to die.

But again, he finds himself fighting. Not even just for his own life this time - not when Michael insists that Chris team up with Yuuma from the very beginning - and that's... different. Leaves him aware of what he's doing in a way he'd never been during his own games, leaves him unable to simply black out when he makes a kill.

He feels shame, again, when he turns away from the woman from District 7 who'd tried to bury an axe in Yuuma's shoulder, and sees Yuuma staring at him with wide, scared eyes - but then Yuuma smiles up at him and perhaps it's hesitant but Chris still finds his heart jumping. Still hates himself a little because he's getting attached and it's bad, it's the stupidest decision he's ever made but--