so. 

hello.

the reason i've been gone for so long is because my best friend back in sweden passed away. losing her took a toll on me. she was my first friend, really. the kind of friend you make a promise with to stay friends forever. i remember crying my eyes out when i came to the us and i had to leave her. we went through everything together. all the hard exams, fun school trips, snowy days in with hot chocolate and warm blankets, she was there for everything. i was there for her first period, and she was there when i wanted to kill myself. i loved her more than anything. i wanted to share everything with her. i wasn't able to go home for christmas when i usually would go every single year. we'd make our gingerbread houses and have our candy. i'd be the architect, putting the gingerbread house together, and she'd decorate it to be something out of a fairytale. i hate the taste of ginger, and she always made fun of me for it, telling me how i have "baby tastebuds". i won't eat the beautiful gingerbread houses, joking that it's because i'd hate to ruin her creation. but this year, i wasn't able to do that. and i never will. she was the one who pulled me out of suicide, and now i've lost her. i'd do anything for a single second with her. i've been throwing myself into work to not feel. because i knew the emotions would be too strong. but i broke down one day, and i found myself on the top floor of my dorm. it took a lot to not jump that day, but i managed it somehow. i cried and cried until my head throbbed and i turned into a robot for the next couple of days. i broke down again today. i don't think i can handle it. i have never imagined life without her. she was always my everything. the best memory of my life was going to norway with her by train. just us. i was going to go to stray kids' paris show with her, explore the city, and then go back to swden for a while. i gave away the tickets to some friends because i couldn't go without her. i don't think i'll be posting for a while. i still haven't come to terms with her death. god, it feels wrong saying that. to lose someone so full of life, to lose someone who is the whole reason you're alive, is something i hope none of you have to ever go through. 

sunshine artist! hyunjin x grumpy writer! reader.

like hyune is wearing all these pretty and floral clothes while reader dresses like sherlock holmes. reader writes mostly dark stuff. and after they got together, people started noticing the influence they both had on each other's art. like hyunjin would start exploring darker themes, and reader would add in a bit or romance in his books/poetry.

reader writes hyunjin poems, and hyunjin often takes reader on dates in like flower fields and paint him. one day, on a date like this, they started playfighting, splashing paint on each other. reader is wearing a flower crown which hyunjin made for him. and in that moment, so in love, reader pulls out a ring and says "marry me, my love."

imma go kms this is so cute.

ok this is in no particular order, just my fav ppl on here

Hello?? Do you think I'm a model or smth lmao 😭😭😭

i actually have a really dark shade of brown hair (you can't even tell it's brown) and I have blue streaks cuz why tf not?

and I got blue eyes. not green. but I am tall however