Deconditioning felt like unloading bags I didn’t even pack. I was raised by Generators. Two parents who moved with power. Brothers who worked without pause. A sister who kept the rhythm effortlessly. And me—a 4/1 Projector with a fixed view and a fragile nervous system—told to keep up. Told I was too quiet. Too slow. Too intense. Too sensitive. Too… much and not enough.
I was diagnosed at 17. Began self-harming as a way to make the overwhelm tangible. The pressure to be what I was not didn’t just hurt. It broke me.
But in 2012, I received my master Reiki attunement. And in 2015, Human Design found me. I was told I had the design of a consultant. Not someone who pushes. But someone who sees. Who waits. Who is invited to guide.
That single session changed everything. I finally understood why I always felt out of place. Why my rhythm was different. Why my body screamed under the pressure to perform.
That’s when the deconditioning began. Not all at once. But piece by piece. I let go of urgency. I stopped proving. I started waiting. And in 2023, I stopped hiding. I started networking. And the invitations haven’t stopped since.
This isn’t just about recovery. This is reclamation. This is how I saved my life. This is why I work the way I do. This is why I hold space the way I do. Because I lived what it means to be misunderstood. And I embody what it means to realign.
