#vers3.5

Given Elliot’s attitude so far, his sudden shift in expression confused him even before he spoke. Him? He mouthed a ‘what’, frowning. Was him the other Elliot? Whatever that meant. Sighing heavily, he moved away from him, his hands on his waist. He didn’t have the time or the energy for this. He should either hit him again, get his frustration out on him or just send him the fuck away. But he found himself doing either of those things, a part of him still wanting to understand this, still wanting Elliot in his life.   ❝What’s the fucking difference?❞ 

He wasn’t even sure why he told him that, he should have been focusing on telling him about everything he had ruined. ❝Do you even know why you are sorry?❞ Huffing, he sat down, his hands running through his hair in frustration. He wanted to be angry at him so much. To hate him. It would make things easier. He wouldn’t be any different than the Dark Army and soon enough they would both be destroyed.  He hated that he couldn’t hate him. If he did he could blame everything on him. It would be easier than to blame someone he had never met, to have him as the source of his grief. Hate or love, Elliot was part of it. His dream was destroyed before he found that he was just a pawn, before Santiago had informed him about Joanna’s death with that cold look in his face.

❝It wasn’t supposed to be this way. None of it. ❞  At the same time, he didn’t want to hate him. Elliot was the only one he had left. But did it really matter, if Elliot did not want to be there? If the connection he had felt was just as real as the control they had over White Rose’s plan? No, what he felt must have been real, even if it was over. It all had to mean something, he couldn’t have been so wrong.

Was that how his life was going to be from now on? A series of bottles of vodka, an empty house full of things that reminded him of the family he had lost — days of pretending he is the poster boy of E-Corp? Everything had turned to shit, even more than he ever fret it would be and it was only getting worse.