#venttime

Uhhh sorta (very) serious thing about me? Yeah...uh I'm sorry. I'm sorry a lot. I'm sorry for a lot of things. Little things. Big things. Everything. People dislike that about me. That I'm always saying sorry...but it's the way I am. I can't help it. I get yelled at for the tiny things so I apologize thinking it'll help. I do what I think helps....i apologize for words, actions and thoughts. No one hears me so why say sorry? Because it just...feels right.

People call me a fool. An idiot. I smile and nod and agree. It leads to more taunts and bullying but whatever. Just another brick in the wall. Another brick that'll be broken down into nothing.

I suffer from ADHD and other things. Things I won't mention because honesty they're not important. I have a really really hard time focusing. Like really hard. That's why I'm in basic classes that don't take much focus. Drama, Band, ROTC all do. English and Math do. I didn't choose English, Math, Biology and soon History. I struggle. I struggle a lot.

If you have been following me, you know that I am on a journey of trying to read more. I actually have a reading list posted and even though the book that I am about to talk about is not on this list, it was still an interesting read for what it was.

I don’t want to disclose the title or the author of the book simply because I am a big fan of their YouTube channel and even though this particular novel wasn’t my cup of tea, I don’t want to discourage anyone else from reading it.

One thing you should know about me is that I HATE urban novels and I HATE time sensitive novels.

What I mean by “urban” is books that are based on a cliché story of a twenty something whose story line is riddled with shortcomings, drugs, sex, excessive obscene language and designer labels.

What I mean by “time sensitive” is when books mention trends, songs, slang and sayings that are only relevant for that moment in time.

I think too many newer authors write this way and even though the story line was ok, overall, this book was so bad that I just want to write my own.

Talk about turning a negative into a positive. Ha!

As an African American woman, I know the feelings of oppression. Why be subjected to such things when I’m casually trying to search for a piece of literature?

I want to read about college experiences, sucesses, greek life, family growth not sex, drugs and violence.

I'm getting a Jack Rabbit and grindin' towards the future! I refuse to work my ass off then carry ANYONE along for the ride. WE BOTH HAVE TO HAVE THE BASICS! COME ON!

FUCK THIS INTERNT MEET, APP GREET SHIT TOO! GUYS ARE WORST WHEN YOU CAN'T SEE THEIR FACE. I KNOW THAT YOU ARE LYING, BE BETTER AT IT, MAKE IT APPEALING! 

I'M SO OUT OF THE LOOP. LIKE PEOPLE ARE REALLY ON INSTAGRAM LOL I GOT IT WHEN IT WAS JUST A PHOTO FILTER APP. FUCK YO STAGED PIC!!!

Waking up in the morning and today is Christmas. I came downstairs and I saw my mom was making tea for me. I looked outside and just thinking about Christmas, gifts, happiness and family. Every year, I don’t need gifts because I have family :)

I don’t understand why people really want to have expensive gifts, needy, selfish and silly stuff. Why do you need an expensive sunglasses? Why do you need a fancy stuff? We have the shelter, food, and family. That's it!

I was talking with my mom about Christmas and she said,"people like to waste money to buy silly gifts. They always think about themselves." She is right and I am very lucky that my parents taught me about the values. I always think about the third world that they don't have everything. My parents always send money to my family in India for the children. They need to go to school, need some new clothes and need some couples thing for the family. My parents are awesome because they don't think about themselves. They do care about the family and friends and I am very lucky that I am just like my parents.