I am absolutely overthinking fun fandom stuff again but I think what's so important to me about radiostatic is the reconcilliation part. like whether or not it makes sense, I have such a serious emotional need to see two people try to kill each other and be able to recover and become friends again anyway.
spending a bunch of time with someone I have a very complicated relationship with recently has brought up a lot of feelings, and I just. want there to be some hope I guess? it's too painful to think about reconciling with this person in real life, but it's so comforting to think the pain might go away for someone.
something I really want to write about is the feeling of betrayal when you're both very close to and also hate someone; every time they make you laugh or you share something you love with them, every time you enjoy their company, it's like you're betraying the version of yourself that hated them so much. how can someone who's hurt you so badly share a face with someone you so desperately want to make happy?
I actually have gotten over it with some people (that I hated less intensely). honestly, I think it just came down to us becoming different people (a little amnesia helped too lol); still us, but matured enough to apologize and not hurt each other again. it felt too good to be true at first, but sometimes you just need some time apart to become the right people for each other.
I want that for alastor and vox. I want them to come to their own realizations that they want to change, then meet with they have that willingness. I think that would lend itself to a fun (terrible) dynamic where they both want to make the relationship better but are worried the other person isn't. I want them to waste a lot of time testing each other and anticipating betrayal before they're both so fucking sick of it that they jump into the deep end together. I want what they interpret as a honeymoon phase when they first try making up to just be what their relationship will become when they finally communicate. I want them to spend time together and enjoy it and realize they miss each other so much that they're forced to admit they'd do anything to be friends again. I want them to make each other so happy that they're glad they're in hell for eternity because it means eternity together.
