Being back in Montevideo has been a little weird. Bittersweet is probably a better word. The entire time I've had this dull ache in my chest, kind of wishing my parents were still around. I'd go to the beach we used to go to on weekends or the café across from our apartment, yet there was no trace of them. That's why I'm so glad I had Joel with me. I made new memories with him. We went skinny-dipping at the beach, we drank wine and held hands and kissed during the sunset at the café. It felt so good to just be with him. Tomorrow I planned to surprise him for his birthday by going to New York but of course my loud mouth couldn't keep quiet. I figured we could have a nice quiet night in before our early flight tomorrow morning, but that wasn't really the case. I had stepped out for a few things for our blanket fort (i.e, snacks and wine) and when I came back Joel had been crying. I knew I shouldn't have left him alone. Of course he had talked to Hayley and she doesn't like the idea of Joel and I. She loves him, he doesn't love her. Typical. And so she essentially is going to make him choose me over his daughter, I know she is. Joel told me he said he would break up with me if that was the solution and that fucking hurt. I'm so used to everyone I love leaving. My parents, Vida, now Joel. He assured me it was just to calm Hayley but the fact that it still crossed his mind, along with him hiding us, doesn't really solidify that he's in this for the long haul. We'll see..
