#vcpr

No no no no! Keep them out of here! We DO NOT want anymore old folks! If there are any old people listening, go back to your homes!   Florida does not want you! Please, die somewhere else! What's wrong with Nevada or Kansas? We want a river! We need a river! The freedom river.

Public confidence is at an all-time low. Nobody feels safe anymore. Just the other night, I saw a man running a muck with a gun shouting he needed to defend himself. Gun sales are up, book sales are down.

Maurice: To my right, heh, to everyone's right in fact, we have congressman Alex Shrub; the youngest state congressman to ever be elected by Vice City and now a respected man in the capital.  Mr. Shrub got elected because he has great hair and says things that make you nod your head.  His campaign appealed to the wealthy because he set all of us at ease by confirming, "It's okay to be rich, as long as you say you care about the children."  Mr. Shrub, welcome! Alex: That's not entirely true, Maurice.  My campaign also appealed to the poor... who were too stupid to understand what I'm saying, so I held up pretty pictures and then I gave out candy bars to appeal to their most base instincts.  Thanks Maurice.  I'm glad to be given this opportunity to set the record straight. Maurice: I haven't given you any opportunity yet, my heartless friend.   Let me introduce my other guest first.   Alex: I hope this isn't going to get personal.  I love Vice City more than anyone, and I can prove it. Maurice: Yes, that's coming from the man who got elected by calling his opponent a "buffalo butt" and a fat, hen-pecked wimp that couldn't fight his way out of a wet, paper bag.

We've been doing that for years, you idiot. How do you think we keep prison costs down?  It ain't by magic or cookin' the books (we say that for "education"), but as in most things we in government are saving money so that you don't have to.