Secret Desire
Summary: As a princess, she was always taught that everything she wanted could be hers, but Vassa's heart has been set for a long time on one thing that she could never call hers, but that will not stop her from trying.
Word count: 1724
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These were the moments she cherished the most. Away from her sisters, who were anything but kind, and from the guards who would never let her breathe in peace. Once the doors of her room were shut Vassa could finally shut the world out.
She glanced at her desk noting a letter that had not been there when she left to attend to her duties. Vassa picked up the letter and immediately regretted it.
Why wouldn't he stop? Could he not get the message clear? Vassa thought as she put the letter down planning to burn it once the fire was strong enough. She could not see this.
"Let me through. Let me in.", an all too familiar voice was heard from the hallway. Vassa did not manage to catch her guards' answer as they were now all very mindful of their tone of voice.
She quickly approached the door and threw it open sending a mean glare to her guards, "Why would you not let her in?", demanded Vassa.
The guards at least had the decency to look scared. It took them a couple of moments to gather the courage to reply to her, "We did not want anyone to disturb you, princess."
Vassa glared at them, "I will say this only once, if Elain wants to enter my room you will let her in without hesitation." She could see Elain behind the guards sending her a thankful look, but something in her eyes told her she was unsettled.
"Am I understood?", Vassa asked the guards, to which all of them collectively answered, "Yes, princess."
"Come, Elain.", Vassa said as she let Elain slip first into her room. Elain was pacing in her room, and Vassa already knew where this conversation would lead. Or better yet to whom.
Vassa groaned, "Just spit it out."
Elain looked at her and the hope in her eyes made her pity her. What lie had he told her this time, Vassa thought.
She watched as Elain took a deep breath before saying, "It was all a misunderstanding, Vassa. Nothing happened between them."
"Yeah, sure. As he told you that himself it must be the truth then, right?", taunted Vassa. This was mean even for her but she could no longer stand aside and watch this. Would no longer stand aside to witness Elain being treated like this.
Elain looked hurt by her words, but as much as it pained her to see her like this it was better than for her to be hurt while in marriage to that jerk with no way of an escape.
"Why are you like this, Vassa?", carefully asked Elain.
"Have you ever wondered why I don't like Graysen so much?" If Elain wanted an answer she would get it. No time is better than now.
Elain nodded her head, "Yes, and I can't understand it. Vassa, he is so nice-
"You deserve more than nice, Elain. And quite frankly I think your definition of nice is not really true to its real meaning.", Vassa interrupted Elain.
"What?", Elain said in disbelief, "You think Graysen is not good for me then who? You know my time is running out. I may be your lady in wait but I can't stay here all my life. Father is counting my days as we speak."
Vassa shook her head, "You are too blind to see anyway. Just forget it."
She saw that her answer pushed Elain to the edge as she demanded an answer from her, "No. I am not going to forget it. Vassa you started this so you will have to finish it. Why do you dislike Graysen -
"I am jealous." Vassa exclaimed.
Elain took a step back surprised by the outburst. Vassa only looked at her, studying her. Looking for her next movement. Now half of the truth is finally out.
As Elain remained stuck to her place Vassa repeated in a softer voice, "I am jealous of him."
Elain looked at her with her doe-brown eyes full of compassion, "Oh Vassa you don't have to worry about a thing. I am never going to replace you. You know that."
"I do.", Vassa quickly said, "But I will never have something that I want."
"Your every single wish Vassa was always made to come true. You are a princess, you only need to say the words and it's done. What do you want?" Elain said with her eyebrows scrunched showing clear signs of confusion.
"You." Vassa answered looking into her eyes. She could see the shock when she said those words out loud and could see the puzzlement only growing.
Elaine started rambling while playing with her dress, a habit she picked up whenever she was nervous, "What, Vassa? How? When?"
"I have always liked you Elain.", Vassa started as she took a couple of steps towards Elain closing the gap between the two of them, "I always thought you were the prettiest and the kindest girl in this kingdom and beyond."
Elain looked in shock, but Vassa could swear she saw a pinch of pink creeping up her neck and relief in her eyes, "But Vassa you know this isn't possi-
"I do", Vassa whispered softly in her ear. She could feel how stiff Elain had become not knowing her next move. Vassa slowly started dragging her hands up and down Elain's back until she finally settled her hands on her corset.
"Vassa. We can't.", Elain said breathlessly, "I am your lady in waiting and you are a princess."
"But that is why we absolutely should. I am a princess as you said so what I say goes.", Vassa said as she slowly started kissing down the column of Elain's neck. Elain let out a moan which urged Vassa to continue her torture with her lips while pushing Elain's body closer to her.
"Do you have any idea how jealous I was whenever a visiting prince or a guard would take a liking to you?", Vassa revealed as she stopped the assault on Elain's neck. It would definitely leave hickeys.
"It was you all along!", Elain exclaimed but she did not pull away from Vassa.
"Yes. I was.", Vassa answered.
Elain looked hesitant before saying, "You want me all to myself Vassa, but you know I need a -
"Husband.", Vassa finished for Elain who was been saying all of the same things over and over again, "I know you need a husband. You have been telling me this since a long time ago."
"Then, why ruin my chances?", Elain asked sincerely.
Vassa took a couple of moments before saying this out loud. This was something that she never thought she would be admitting out loud, "Because I wanted you all for myself. Hate me all you want but I could not let you go."
"So it was you who intercepted the letters I have meant to send to Graysen.", Elain concluded.
"Yes.", Vassa admitted.
Elain shook her head causing a few unruly curls to fall from her hairstyle, "That is petty-
"I know." Vassa could not let her finish. After admitting everything she suddenly felt too drained for anything, let alone a possible argument.
"My princess, will you let me finish? Elain said with a soft lilt in her voice.
"You can finish." Vassa gestured with her hand for Elain to just get it over with.
"That was petty and dumb.", Elain immediately responded holding eye contact with her. It was as if now the tables have turned and it was now Elain who was judging the situation.
"What?", Vassa asked.
She must have misunderstood. What was happening right now?
Elain closed the gap between them and gently pushed her hair away from her face. Vassa could melt at her soft touch.
"I said that was petty and dumb." Elain repeated as her finger started brushing her cheek.
"Why?", Vassa whispered in disbelief.
"I like you.", Elain admitted as her cheeks flushed with pink. "I always have, but you are a princess and I am nobody."
"Not to me.", Vassa interrupted as she took Elain in her embrace, "Never to me. You are everything to me." She could feel Elain's hand hugging her in return.
"But we could never be with such rules.", Elain sadly said.
"Rules are meant to be broken.", Vassa exclaimed. There was no way that she would ever back away now. Not after getting Elain to admit that she also has feelings for her. Rules be damned.
"But you could lose your title Vassa. Don't be rash." Elain was worried for her and she would be lying if she didn't find that endearing.
"What is worth my title if I lose you? Losing you has forever been one of my biggest fear. You are everything I have ever wanted in a friend and in a" Vassa paused for a second locking her blue eyes with Elain's brown ones, "in a lover as well."
"You would truly let everything go for me.", Elain looked at her with such wide eyes it made her smile.
"Everything and much more my Elain." Vassa softly took her hand in hers and interlaced their fingers.
"You are so sweet, but I still don't want you to suffer because of this choice. What if we keep this a secret.", Elain suggested while reassuringly squeezing her hand.
"No. I want everyone to know this.", Vassa said in a firm tone.
"You want everyone to know that I am yours, princess? And that you are mine?", Elain asked with hope in her voice.
"Yes." Vassa did not feel an ounce of shame admitting it. She wanted to scream it so that the whole kingdom knows that they are together.
"Can I write to my sister about this?"
"You never have to ask for permission with me Elain. You can do whatever you want.", Vassa replied.
"Well I do want one thing.", Elain started but didn't finish her thought.
"What is it? I can call the guards in so that they can bring you-
"No.", Elain exclaimed, "I don't need their assistance I need yours."
Vassa looked at her and could see the teasing smile Elain had, "What is it that you want my Elain?"
"My princess, will you let me finish?" Elain asked with a mischievous look on her face. Two could play that game.
