#varcole

Varka gently placed the teacup down on the plate. It made hardly a sound as the porcelain dishes clinked against each other.

"Who knew that dandelions could also brew such excellent tea!" Varka complimented.

"Hehe, glad you’re enjoying it,~" Alice said.

"The brewing of tea is just as intricate of a craft as Mondstadt’s beer, Varka," Barbeloth said. "It’s a form of witchcraft of its own, and dare I say Alice has perfected the spell."

"Ohoho, Barbie, you flatter me."

Octavia’s ears drooped. "It’s been far too long since I’ve last been able to taste Alice’s tea."

"Oh, I’m sure you’ll be able to return soon!"

"The Knights of Favonius’s expedition in Nod Krai was an outstanding success," Varka said. "It’s a good sign for not just the future of Mondstadt, but for Teyvat as a whole."

[Which means you might finally be able to rest yourself, Alice.] Nicole said. [No more leaving us to hold down the fort! And more time for tea parties and actually using our magic for what matters most! I haven’t even been able to sculpt as much as I want to because it feels like I have no free time.]

"I’d say it was pretty swell when you used your magic against Dottore. We wouldn’t have been able to do it without you," Varka said, nudging Nicole with his elbow.

Nicole giggled as her cheeks turned a rosy pink. Alice, in turn, was most amused at their antics.

"Aww, you two are the most adorable," Alice said, enamored. "You better let me plan the wedding."

A drop of sweat rolled down the side of Varka’s face. The thought of marrying Nicole did not make him nervous, as it was a future he had prepared himself for long ago. Rather, it was the threat of Alice being their wedding’s planner. Mondstadt won’t be left standing if she was in charge of the ceremony.

"Don’t be so nervous, Varka," Octavia said, "many other young men go through exactly what you have."

"Well, it’s not exactly that-"

"Oooh, we can have fireworks!" Alice interjected.

[And party games and a bar and a dance floor and a photographer and a horse carriage and Barbatos and music and the whole church to ourselves and the entirety of the Knights of Favonius in attendance!] Nicole added on.

Terrifying.

"Now now, dears," Barbeloth said, "one step at a time. You wouldn’t want the poor lad to explode before he can even ask the question."

Varka could feel the eyes of Dodocos and ladies all shift their focus onto him.

"Me? Explode? Haha, I’m doing great!" he said, feigning confidence with a thumbs up.

Nicole’s poorly restrained giggle only caused him to turn red, and so he slipped away from the conversation by turning his head and taking a sip of his tea.

While Varka was pretending to not be present, the silence did not last too long as Octavia spoke up.

"So Alice, how's Klee doing?"

"Ah...I haven’t seen my darling little Klee in a while. She sounds lively enough from the phone calls we have had, but I still worry about her getting lonely."

[I’m sure being put into solitary confinement doesn’t help.]

"It doesn’t. Take it from me," Alice said, crossing her arms.

"That little lass will make a fine Knight, should she learn how to better distinguish when and when not to use explosives," Varka said as he placed his teacup down. "For a girl her age, there’s only so much training she’s willing to tolerate in one sitting. At least she gets to play with my kiddos sometimes, but..."

Alice, Barbeloth, and Octavia's gazes all shifted to focus on Varka.

"Huh? Did I say something?"

"Oh my!" Barbeloth said. "Grandchildren already!"

"W-wait! It’s not like that!" Varka quickly corrected. "They’re not even mine technically. I’ve merely taken them under my wing."

[Hmm, are you sure about that?] Nicole said, raising an eyebrow. [Because Razor definitely sees you as a father figure. Even if the wolves took care of him for quite some time, you still taught him everything that he knows. Mika’s just a fledgling, but only someone with the Grand Master to look up to would be that bold of an adventurer at such a young age. And we can’t forget Sucrose, who is an adorable little thing, but I certainly wouldn’t mess with whatever she’s been brewing in that lab.”

"Haha, I suppose they all have taken after me in one way or another. But Nicole, dear, that would, by all technicalities, make you their mother."

The other three Hexenzirkel witches shifted their gazes to Nicole. Alice contemplated for a moment, as if the thought had never crossed her mind.

[Oh my, that is most delightful!]

"They already admire you greatly,” Varka said, “especially Sucrose, who always has been a little shy to discuss even her experiments in alchemy. She really does want to talk to you more. You might as well formally accept your title at this point.”

Alice leaned in closer to loudly whisper into Nicole’s ear. "If you’re going to be a mother, might as well go for the full experience..."

"Alice!" Barbeloth said, the little Dodoco bouncing upwards.

Alice and Nicole giggled, though at the expense of Varka who was hiding his face. Fifty-year-old man, who had experienced death firsthand, embarrassed by the concept of creating new life...

"Well," Octavia said, "at least it’s a more responsible option compared to the route Rhinedottir took."

"Albedo and Durin aren’t all that bad..." Alice said.

"Subject Two caused a massive headache for the Knights," Varka mentioned.

[And Durin...well...] Nicole trailed off.

"Oh, Celestia forbid a woman have a little fun with her creations!" Alice said.

Celestia did, in fact, forbid. Varka met Nicole’s gaze silently. Her eyes darted back and forth between him and Alice. Neither of them said anything, telepathically or otherwise.

Varka simply picked up the teacup in front of him and took a sip, rather than open his mouth. Of course the witch who gives her child explosives as toys wouldn’t see a problem with it. But Varka didn’t really have much ground to stand on, given the nature of some of the Knights he has raised.

"Oh Rhinedottir...Alice...whatever are we going to do with your children," Barbeloth lamented.

Alice crossed her arms and huffed.

[Razor, Sucrose, and Mika are all very well behaved. I don’t think any of us will have a reason to worry about them. Well, for the most part anyways. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sucrose finds herself a spot at our table in the near future.] Nicole said.

"You’re practically treating them as your own already. How lovely!" Alice said.

"Well, at least there’s a better chance of them turning out alright," Octavia noted.

If Rhinedottir was around, she would certainly have a few words of protest.

"Nicole brought Varka along with her. I’m not sure she’s entirely without blame."

"I am an innocent man here," Varka protested, taking a sip of his tea.

When he had glanced down at his cup as he was setting it back down, he noticed that not a single drop of tea remained. It was impressive enough that he had managed to make such a relatively small amount last for as long as he did. At this point, Varka felt it would be rude to overstay his welcome, as if he were to ask for another cup, he might as well ask for the entire teapot for how much he drinks on the norm.

"Ah, as much as I would like to stay and chat with you ladies, Jean will only continue to stack more papers on my desk the longer I am away," he said as he started to slide out of his chair.

Varka, however, was stopped in his tracks by the feeling of something fluffy atop his shoulders, wrapping around his mouth. He turned his head to the side to see the dot-eyes of a blue-tailed Dodoco shimmering with an ominous glint unlike any he had seen before.

"Leaving so soon, dear?" Barbeloth said. "You only just got here! Why not sit back down and have yourself another cup of tea?"

Fearing for his safety, Varka, sweat rolling down the side of his face, sat back down as instructed. Although his airways were free of Barbeloth’s fluffy tail, his mouth was sealed shut as he was stunned into silence. Alice refilled his cup, while Nicole looked at him with an awfully devious smile.