#vanaar

“Excuse me. . .” The soft voice came from behind Vanaar, and she tensed reflexively. Her hands balled into fists, and it took every ounce of strength in her not to reach for a weapon that was no longer there, that had not been there for months. 

“When I settled down in the area,” Vanaar said slowly, “I used to deck well meaning souls that snuck up on me. Consider yourself lucky that I’ve had eight months to settle down.” 

“Oh well, you do sound quite tough.” A young girl stepped up to the table, and Vanaar had to blink twice to believe her eyes. If she hadn’t known better, remembered some nugget tucked away in her head that Alphinaud had a sister-a twin-then she would have sworn that he was beside her in the flesh. The girl stuck out her hand. “Alisaie Leveileur. I’ve followed your exploits, Warrior of Light.” 

A monster--how could it be so big?--stood before her. Ice raced through her blood. How could she possibly be expected to bring it down? If this was what it meant to be a hero, if this was the fate she faced as Hydaelyn’s chosen, then she wanted none of it. 

Vanaar looked at the girl’s outstretched palm and scoffed. “You obviously haven’t been following close enough. I’m not the Warrior of Light. You must have me mistaken for someone else.” 

She had fought many monsters, each one impossibly larger and more ferocious than the last. This one. . .this was too much. Her heart pounded so loudly in her chest that she could not heart the call of her comrades until it was too late. 

“Perhaps not.” The girl looked genuinely thoughtful for a moment, before a flash of anger overtook her eyes. “I’m sorry for wasting your time, then. The realm needs fresh, blooming soldiers, not wilted relics of the past.” 

The comment might have stung two months ago, but Vanaar had done well to dull her senses since she had come here. Nothing could slip through. She waved the girl off. 

The stench rose from the battlefield as she limped back to the scions. They had the nerve to call it a victory, but she could not rinse the stain of blood from her lance, she could not clear the bodies from her sight. The stench stayed with her for days, weeks, months. There were so many bodies. 

As Vanaar greedily gulped at the fresh pint of ale that the bartender set before her, a look worse than anger overtook Alisaie’s face. Pity overwhelmed her features. 

She tried to sit, but her arm betrayed her, giving out as a fresh burst of pain shot through her body. Two days she had been like this, utterly and completely helpless. She could see the pity in everyone’s eyes as they came to visit, tried to help. One of the fabled Warriors of Light, the only one now. Only she could have even the hope of saving the others from whatever wicked magic had wrenched their souls from their bodies, and she could not even bring herself to sit up in bed. If they even could be saved. X’kebhi had not even left behind a body to save. She thought of Amille, cold and lifeless in her arms as Vanaar dragged her from the battlefield, and hot tears streamed down her cheeks, stinging at the fresh wounds on her face. She had to do something. 

“Hydaelyn,” Vanaar whispered to the empty room. “I never asked for this. You’ve taken everything, everyone from me and given me a gift I never wanted.” 

Silence pressed in around her, drowning her in the nothingness. As if compelled, she continued. 

“Everyone I’ve loved, everyone I’ve trusted has given their lives in service to you, and still it’s not enough to sate your greedy thirst, is it?” Her voice quivered as it broke free from the whisper. “You’ve accepted their lives like measly gil, doling out cryptic prophecies and binding gifts that nobody asked for.” 

Her throat choked up in a strangled cry. “You won’t even let me die. You won’t even give me that honor.” 

Steeling herself, she rose, pushing through the pain as a guttural cry erupted from the pit of her stomach. Her head spun as she pushed beyond sitting, as she placed her feet on the cold stone floor, as she put weight on feet that felt ready to collapse but for the sheer force of her will. 

“You can have me for your collection,” Vanar shouted. Tears stained the bandage across her eye, dripped onto her shirt. Someone would surely hear her shouting and be at her side within minutes, but she didn’t care. “Take my life in your service, since that’s all you care about. But bring them back. You can have my life in return for their souls. Their time isn’t over yet, you can’t have them. Take me instead.” 

In a rush the strength left her body. Vanaar’s knees buckled, and she crumpled to the ground as the door opened, an attendant rushing to her side, helping her back into bed. She clenched her fists. Nothing would keep her down for long. Tomorrow she would begin the search for her friends’ souls.  

---

I have so many feelings you guys, stormblood really did me like that. 

Feo Ul laughed. “Well what do you expect? You saved their realm, child, their very existence. I’m sure the castle would be bursting at the seams if we let in everyone whose life you’ve touched.” 

“And they’re all going to be looking at me.” Vanaar rubbed the sparkling lace hem of her dress between her fingers. Other-worldly material, surely, if her fae patron had anything to do with it. 

“Good thing you look hot in that dress,” X’kebhi said. She stepped fully into the room from her post at the door--neither of them fully trusted Amille to not try to sneak a look at her before the ceremony, tradition and luck be damned--and sized Vanaar up with a faux-analytical gaze. Finally after her calculations were complete, she gave a curt, satisfied nod. “They’ll be talking about your radiance for centuries.” 

“Kebhi,” Vanaar managed before the emotion choked at her throat, cutting her thought off short. She pulled the miqo’te in for a hug. 

“You two deserve your moment, Vee.” X’kebhi’s own voice was thick. “We’ve had to fight a lot of sin eaters and garleans and politicians to get here.” 

Feo Ul tapped at Vanaar’s shoulder, pulling her back with soft grace. “There there, I’ll have no more of that, you two! I’d barely finished Vanaar’s make up and there you go getting all teary eyed and sentimental. Come now, look up and to the right--yes, that’s better.” 

The pixie fussed around for several minutes longer while X’kebhi gave Vanaar a look that could only mean relief at not being the one under their skeptical gaze. Finally, when they were satisfied, they gave a small nod, first to Vanaar, then to X’kebhi. 

“I think you’re all set then, sapling. Best not keep her waiting any longer.” 

X’kebhi held out her arm to Vanaar and together they walked towards the ballroom. Vanaar felt a moment of relief, giving way to giddy flutters. There was no one else she would want at her side for this moment.

--

She shambled through the field like a ghost, stopping aimlessly here or there to shuffle a bit of rubble around. She barely perceived what destruction had been wrought on the landscape. Though she had started in the encampment where X’kebhi had disappeared, and though she had set out in the opposite direction, she still ended up in a familiar clearing. The scorch marks and destruction here were all too familiar here. Vanaar carefully brought a hand to the fresh scars that marred her face. 

A strong hand clapped on her shoulder and Vanaar nearly jumped out of her skin. In her reflection, she had deafened herself to the outside world, a dangerous habit she needed to break, especially now that she was alone. 

“You’ll find nothing but ghosts here, Vanaar.” Raubahn’s strong voice cut into her thoughts. “We’d best move elsewhere.” 

Vanaar scowled. “I’m not going back to the inn. How’d you find me here anyway? I was being careful.” 

“There’s something magnetic about places like this, places that have taken so much from you.” Exhaustion lined the edges of Raubahn’s face. She remembered as well as he that cursed night in Ul’dah, and now wondered how many times he had visited the banquet hall in the dead of night. “Anyway, I’m not here to escort you back. I’m here to help look. It’s the very least I owe the two of you after all you’ve done for me.” 

Vanaar set her jaw and nodded. “I don’t know if she even left a body behind.” 

“But you’ll not be contented until you at least check.” 

Vanaar nodded. 

“Then let’s be at it.” Raubahn’s gaze turned out to the horizon. “The night is young, but the others are already beside themselves with worry at your disappearance. I give them an hour, maybe two before they think to come here.” 

With a grim smile, Vanaar returned and started picking her way through the rubble once more. After a moment, she turned back.

 “Raubahn? Thank you.”

--

“‘Sa bout time you made it out here, luv,” Amille turned, that same grin, those same amber eyes, and an unfamiliar tinge of sorrow lingering beneath. 

Vanaar wanted nothing more than to run to her arms, to be swept away in the strength and comfort of her embrace, but she held herself back. The last words she had said to Amille on the battlefield, they had been meant to sting, to get her as far away from the deadly sphere of Vanaar’s own influence as they could. It hadn’t worked. Amille had fought her way through hordes of Garlean soldiers just to have her soul stripped from her. In the weeks that followed that bloody night, Vanaar had forced herself to come to terms with the fact that her friends, her loved ones. . .her Amille had been lost to her forever. 

“You were brought here at the same time as Allisae, that means you’ve been here for. . .” 

“A year abouts, aye,” Amile replied. A look flickered across her face, too fast for Vanaar to properly identify before it was replaced by a smirk. “You look so serious, Vee. That mask, all the black.” 

“The battle took its toll on all of us,” Vanaar replied. She self-consciously rubbed her left arm, her scarred arm. She wore long gloves to cover the worst of it, but there was a vanity in her that wondered how Amille would react when she saw. She dropped her gaze to the ground, ears flattening against her head. “So you’ve been fighting sin-eaters?” 

Amille nodded. “There’s plenty of work round these parts for a mercenary.” 

“She’s underselling herself,” Allisae cut in. “Her skills are invaluable to our cause, though I’m sure that comes as no surprise to you.” 

In spite of herself, a smile spread across Vanaar’s face. “Even here, you’re keeping up with that charade?”

“Charade?” Amille scoffed. “I’m the best damn mercenary around, thank you kindly.” 

“I’ve no doubt about it,” Vanaar said, glancing back up at Amille. Her arms were crossed, and with a pang of longing, Vanaar wished to be wrapped in their embrace. She bit her lip as a heavy silence settled over the small group. After glancing between the two of them, X’kebhi clapped her hand on Allisae’s shoulder. 

“I had some questions about your work here, Allisae,” X’kebhi said. “We’ve been conducting research in the Crystarium, and perhaps with what you’ve learned about the sin eaters here, we could start to make some headway. Perhaps you can discuss it with me at camp?”

Allisae glanced at Vanaar and nodded. “Amille can show you the way when you’re ready.” 

The two walked away, X’kebhi already beginning to detail the studies she and the Exarch had been working on. A stiffness filled the air in their wake, and Vanaar felt a pang of longing in her chest. Though she had motivated herself in those lonely weeks with the hope that she might be able to find a way to reunite with Amille, she had never dared to let herself to dream this far. She was not sure what came next, but she knew it was on her to make the first move. She was the reason Amille was caught up in all of this, after all. 

“Vee,” Amille said, startling Vanaar out of her contemplation. “I’m happy to see you again.” 

Vanaar could feel the tears hot on her face as she took a step forward, then another, closing the distance between them. “I never should have asked you to leave.” 

“You did what you thought was right, luv, no one could blame you for that.” 

Vanaar could tell that Amille was holding herself back, gauging the situation, waiting for her to set the precedent. With shaky hands, Vanaar reached behind her head and untied the bone mask that hid her face, her scars. It dropped to the ground with a soft thud, and Vanaar’s eyes followed it, unable to bring herself to meet Amille’s gaze. She could still hear the sharp intake of air as Amille took it in. 

“Vanaar,” she said softly. 

“I was reckless,” Vanaar muttered. “I had already lost so many people, Ami. I couldn’t let him take even one more life that night. I had to take him on by myself. There was no other choice.” 

Amille’s tone turned to stone. “Who did this to you?”

“Zenos…or Elidibus, I guess. I know it’ll take some time getting used to. . .this.” 

Amille cupped Vanaar’s chin with a strong hand, tilting her face up towards her own. Vanaar looked into her warm amber eyes, vision blurred with tears. 

“There’s nothing that’s changed about you, Vee. You’re still as strong and beautiful as the day I first laid eyes on you.” 

Unable to wait a second longer, Vanaar reached up with both hands and pulled Amille into a kiss. Her lips were dry against Vanaar’s, sticky with the heat. She could feel Amille’s sweat mingling with her own tears, but as they melted into each other Vanaar felt more at peace than she had in weeks.

--

Amille belongs to @kollapsar

“Go on, shoo.”

“Aww, you made a friend!” X’kebhi walked up to her from the crowded streets of the Sapphire Exchange, where they were supposed to meet before Vanaar got waylaid.

“He’s not a friend, he’s a scoundrel and a charlatan,” Vanaar replied, glaring at the small dog that had now grown so bold as to approach her and sniff her legs.

“You’re a white mage, aren’t you supposed to like nature and animals or something?” X’kebhi asked. She was doing a poor job of keeping the amusement out of her eyes.

Vanaar scowled. The puppy was now standing on his hind legs to sniff in her bag. Stooping, she scooped him up and stared in his eyes. “I have nothing for you, I can’t have a dog. Go bother one of the thousands of other people in this city and leave me alone.”

She knelt and gently placed the dog back on the ground, facing the markets, and gave a small push on his rear. He took a few hesitant steps forward, and just as Vanaar thought she might be free from the nuisance, he spun around and ran back to her, jumping back into her arms and licking at her face.

“Is this some kind of game to you, mongrel?” Vanaar squinted down at the dog’s happy face.

“I mean, you could at least keep him while we’re in Ul’dah,” X’kebhi said. “Maybe try to find a home for him. Raubahn seems lonely enough.”

The thought of someone as massive as Raubahn holding this small dog was enough to crack Vanaar’s scowl. She let out a small chuckle. “Perhaps we can find someone willing to take in a cur like this.”

The shiba gave an enthusiastic lick at her face before yipping excitedly. She firmly sat him back on the ground and stood, already regretting her decision. The dog danced at her heels running up against her legs as she walked. Annoying little monster, she thought.

“So what’re you gonna name him?” X’kebhi asked with a grin.

“I’m not keeping him, so he’s not getting a name.” Vanaar looked down at the dog, who continued to prance about, tongue lolling like a ribbon.

“Don’t you think he’ll be easier to give away if he has a name?”

“No.”

Vanaar pretended to examine the wares of the merchant stall in front of her with great vigor, if only to block out X’kebhi’s disappointed face. Of course she didn’t need a rug, but she examined the weave, the colors, the stitching, all with a very serious expression. Finally, she caved, turning to X’kebhi with an exasperated smile.

“Fine. He can be Daemon, because he was surely sent here to haunt me.”

If Daemon found any fault in his new name, it certainly didn’t show. He let out a yipping bark before spinning in a few quick circles after his tail. Vanaar hoped they’d be able to find a home for him soon.

--

I decided to go with the more adorable interpretation of today’s prompt, so here’s another one about puppies for @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast​