#validation addiction

(And that’s okay — until you trade your whole life for it.)

You think you’re chasing success. You think you’re chasing beauty. You think you’re chasing freedom, status, validation, purpose.

But what if I told you this:

You’re not chasing the thing. You’re chasing the feeling of being seen having it.

And the second that truth lands in your gut, something inside you shifts.

Because deep down… you’ve always known.

🧠 STAGE ONE: YOU’RE NOT CRAVING THE THING — YOU’RE CRAVING THE ECHO 🧠

You didn’t want the luxury car. You wanted to pull up somewhere and watch necks turn. You wanted your enemies to spiral. You wanted your ex to see that reel.

You didn’t want to write a book. You wanted people to say, “Wow, they actually did it.”

You didn’t want to get fit. You wanted your mirror to turn into a weapon. You wanted to feel untouchable. You wanted the thirst comments.

You didn’t want love. You wanted to look like someone who’s finally lovable.

💡 That’s not desire. That’s defense. It’s not motivation. It’s survival instinct — sharpened by years of being overlooked.

You don’t want the thing. You want what the thing says about you to other people.

And that’s where it all goes sideways.

⚠️ STAGE TWO: YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM WAS BUILT ON MIRRORS ⚠️

You don’t need to be a psychologist to understand this:

From birth, you were trained to equate visibility with safety.

A parent’s eye contact? = love. Smiles from strangers? = good child. Praise from teachers? = value.

So by the time you hit 18? Your worth was outsourced.

You didn’t feel real until someone reacted. You didn’t feel valuable unless someone noticed.

Now the algorithm knows that. So does your boss. So do the marketers feeding you $89 moisturizers and digital diets for your self-esteem.

And you — the real you — is stuck under layers of performance.

Layers of “look at me.” Layers of “am I enough yet?” Layers of “please, someone tell me I’m okay.”

📱 Every scroll is a mirror. 🩻 Every post is an X-ray. 💀 And every like is a life raft in the ocean of am I even real without this?

💣 STAGE THREE: YOU’VE BEEN TRAINED TO PERFORM YOUR OWN LIFE 💣

They don’t need to enslave you anymore. They just need you to enslave yourself… to the audience.

👏 Want a relationship? Cool. But will it look good on Instagram? 👏 Want a passion project? Great. But is it monetizable? 👏 Want peace and quiet? LOL. Will it get engagement?

Even rest is performative now.

You’re burning out from pretending to be calm. You’re tired from trying to “look” healed. You’re over it — but still refreshing the views.

📸 You’re not in your life. You’re in the trailer for it.

And that trailer has a budget. A brand. A broken human beneath it who’s screaming for something real.

🔍 STAGE FOUR: IF YOU GOT EVERYTHING YOU ENVY, YOU’D STILL BE HUNGRY 🔍

Let’s say you win.

You get the body. The partner. The followers. The TED Talk. The book deal. The million-dollar apartment.

Now what?

If the entire chase was based on being seen, Then who are you when no one’s watching?

🫥 You’ve been so busy rehearsing your dream life, You forgot to ask if you even want it.

And if your dream is powered by envy? You’ll inherit the misery of the people you envied, too.

Because what you didn’t see… Were the anxiety meds. The broken marriage. The sleepless nights. The “why am I still empty” sobbing on 1000-thread-count sheets.

🥀 STAGE FIVE: WHAT TO WANT INSTEAD 🥀

Want peace. It doesn’t post well, but it feels like heaven.

Want truth. Even if it means burning your aesthetic.

Want depth. Even if it means fewer followers.

Want intimacy. Even if it means turning off notifications.

Want purpose. Even if no one ever applauds it.

💬 Ask yourself: “Would I still want this… if no one ever knew I had it?”

And if the answer is no? Then congratulations — you just spotted your programming.

🧨 FINAL WARNING: YOU ARE NOT A BRAND. STOP LIVING LIKE ONE. 🧨

You are not your feed. You are not your fit check. You are not your views, your reach, your followers, or your likes.

You are a human being — Not a product trying to go viral.

✨ Most of what you want… was installed in you by a world that profits off your emptiness.

But you can uninstall it.

You can opt out.

You can trade the performance for the person.

You can want less — and live so much more.

🌀 This was A Humble Tumble. You didn’t fall apart. You fell inward.

And that’s where the truth lives.