Apr 1, 2024
Reading over what I have of an outline for the 3rd draft of The Shadow of Vale and I think I fixed the beginning of the story. Looking back at it after a year of rest, it works much better than the other beginnings I gave it.
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Reading over what I have of an outline for the 3rd draft of The Shadow of Vale and I think I fixed the beginning of the story. Looking back at it after a year of rest, it works much better than the other beginnings I gave it.
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Happy WBW! ^^ If you could bring one thing/person/place/etc. from your wip into the real world, which one would it be and why?
I thought this was an easy answer, but the more I think about it, it's actually really hard to pick.
My first thought is Zuriel just cause he has been a favorite character of mine for years, but I'd also hate to take him from Aila.
I think maybe Nydia, the subrealm Aila made with Kyra. It'd be a neat hide away with really interesting plants and buildings. A place made with the goal of it being as beautiful and peaceful as possible to bring Kyra back from the darkest despair. By it's nature it would just be so restorative.
So yeah, I think Nydia would be it.
I had this story in my head last night. Probably not something I'd ever actually try to publish, just an idea i wanted to play with.
“Halvar.”
Halvar dropped out of his stance and turned to the sound of Zia’s voice with a frown. It took a moment for him to spot her across the garden. She had someone with her. One of her nymph suitors. He took several slow steps toward her, trying to figure out what she was doing out here.
“Halvar, I didn’t know you’d be out here.” She emphasized her words, looking at him pleadingly.
Halvar tilted his head slightly. Of course, she knew he’d be out here, he was always out here in the afternoons. “Yeah,” He said slowly, starting to get that she was coming to him as her guard. “I picked your stomping grounds today.”
“Hi! I’m Seneh.” The nymph introduced himself enthusiastically, offering his hand to Halvar, rather awkwardly given that he practically clung to Zia with his right arm.
“Halvar.” He replied curtly, glancing back at Zia. “Oh, so since I’ve run into you,” Halvar started again, suppressing a smile as an idea struck him for how to get her out of her predicament. “I got an ointment from Rafael for you.”
Zia turned her head, looking sideways at him. “Oh? An ointment? For what?”
“For the uh,” he leaned toward her, careful to whisper loud enough for Seneh to hear. “The growth. It’ll help with the oozing.”
Zia looked at him with amused shock, biting her lips as he stood up. This was not the tact she had expected him to take. She felt Seneh’s grip on her loosen immediately.
“I was going to bring it by later, but it is probably better if I give it to you now, you know, given the severity.” Halvar had a glint in his eye that made Zia feel both like hugging him and punching him in the face.
“If you are busy, I could come back. I believe your brother will arrange a dinner for us soon.” Seneh said, looking uncomfortable.
“Oh, yeah. That would probably be best. Thank you.” Zia said, feeling relief as Seneh released her arm and bowed politely before exiting the garden in a manner that invoked the word fleeing.
“Halvar!” Zia scolded as Seneh left their line of sight.
Halvar smiled, then began chuckling. Soon he was bent over in laughter, joined shortly by Zia.
“Well, I hope you didn’t like him ‘cause I don’t think he is going to make that dinner.” Halvar said, his face still flush with laughter.
Playing around with a possible starting point with Aila and Kyra in Nydia.
I just have no idea of it’s going to work to set up the world. I think I can set up a good deal of it, take some of the weight off of putting it all in the scenes with Aaron learning about Vale.
Me writing a scene today: Oh, really? That’s interesting, didn’t know that. I like it.
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It feels really chaotic to wander around the plot lines of all the characters across two books, but I think it is making everything work together a lot better. I am trying to run through the plots to see if they conflict with anything that happens later, or that is cannon as happening before.
Given the number of characters in the first book, there is huge potential to pepper in the needed world building without overwhelming the reader because I can just drop them in a family of a particular area and be like, “this is how this place and people work.” Then go to another and repeat, weaving it together as the characters meet and move along toward the next critical moment.
I really want my sister in law to finish reading the second draft so I can look at her feed back. She already gave me a few good thoughts about the beginning of The Shadow of Vale which I have played with.
Some of my scribbles from today
This is part of Fall of the Shadow. TW: mention of death.
“We weren’t supposed to cross that river.” Zelena said, breaking the long silence since their last argument.
Annoyed, Kyra continued without replying.
“There are two rivers and I have never heard of a river running between Lux and Tala.” Zelena continued. The silence left too much for her mind to work on. She prodded, hoping to get her sister to argue with her again. It would at least keep her mind occupied.
“How would you know? Its not like we ever ventured farther than Lux. I don’t know anyone who has ever been to Tala and I know you don’t either.” She replied sharply despite a growing sense that her younger sister was right. It felt like they should be going north, but they seemed to have turned west.
“I just haven’t heard of it.”
Kyra stopped and turned to her sister. “I am sure there are hundreds of towns you have never heard of either. Doesn’t mean they don’t exist.”
Zelena tilted her head.
Kyra sighed and started along the path they had been travelling again. “We aren’t going back.”
Zelena followed her sister in silence.
Kyra glanced repeatedly into the trees on their left hoping to see a path up the mountain. They had been going parallel to them for too long now. It didn’t seem right that Tala would be this far along Enid lake. After another hour they found themselves on an open beach where the mountains drew close enough to the water that it chocked out the trees.
“Kyra, we are going the wrong way.”
“I know!” Kyra shouted, turning back to Zelena. She took a deep breath and repeated it softer. “I know we are.” She rubbed her forehead and looked out over the lake. She took a few steps toward the water with a frown. “Is that smoke?”
Zelena followed her sister’s gaze. There did seem to be smoke rising from the middle of the lake. They hadn’t seen it through the trees. They had been too focused on the mountains on the other side of them.
“Is that, is that Enid?” Zelena stuttered. A well of anger rising in her.
Alright, its not perfect but I have figured out why Samael did it, what set him off.
The third draft is going to have a much stronger foundation with much more developed plots, world, and characters.
Its going to be good.