#vaksani

behold the GARBAGE

pain and suffering laced with vaksani

Hello, Bitch!

Listen, first off I want you to take a deep breath and be kind to yourself. Maybe a hot bath or a cup of tea out on the porch or knit half a hat -- whatever you need to do to start concocting what-if fic in your head. (I was going to do a thing here where I write "calm your tits" and then use strikethrough on that and then the above, but why pussyfoot around what we really know this is all about?)

Second, I want you to know that I'm here for you. Need someone to bounce off ideas? Need a beta? Need someone to scream at the world that someone else has also written the best of rare pairs and they should read it too? I'm here for all of that. I'm here so hard I will drive you nuts. Maybe that's a bad thing, but fuck my life, I'm hungry for more Vaksani and I have no time and 500 other WIPS of 495 other rare pairs to roll around in my head in the middle of the night.

Third, welcome to the club! I love you for who you are and all that you'll become (the next writer of Vaksani). You got this. Go forth and be happy (writing a rare pair few people will read, but those that do will become your best friends).

Honestly, Bitch. Thank you. From the bottom of my cold, dead heart.

Have some fluff, friend!

22. Nap

The house is unusually quiet when Garrus returns. He drops his duffel at the door and checks his omnitool to make certain he hadn’t missed a message from Zaeed about him taking the kids somewhere. When he finds nothing, he hums to himself and makes his way toward the bedrooms. Perhaps Zaeed has finally lived up to his threat of duct taping the kids down to their beds. The thought is both amusing and disturbing in equal measure.

In the hall, he hears the low hum of someone talking and recognizes the soothing tones of the nature program the kids have recently become addicted to. It’s an old Earth program highlighting the flora and fauna from exotic regions around the planet. He turns into his and Zaeed’s room and sees the vid screen on the wall — a large creature dives down underneath muddy water — and finds the three of them on the bed. Ingrid and Paxton are tucked up on either side of a sleeping Zaeed, their eyes fixed on the screen. Paxton sees Garrus enter and lifts a finger up to his face plates in what Garrus has come to know as a “Be quiet” gesture. Then he points at the sleeping Zaeed.

Garrus grins at Paxton’s concern and nods, backing out the door with a little wave.

Here ya go!

34. bauble (aka: geegaw)

Vaksani

Garrus opens the storage crate and stares down into the disorganized morass. Helmets. Rifle parts. Model ship. Pieces of unrelated armor. Half-full bottle of Batarian brandy. There’s more below, but he’s afraid to shift anything for fear of A.) catastrophic failure, and B.) catastrophic reprisal. It’s the mess of it that surprises him most. Zaeed is normally fastidious and organized. But this crate hints at something else.

Zaeed grunts next to him, arms crossed, also looking down into the crate. “Whatta load of shitty geegaws.” He picks up the helmet — a large, red Krogan helmet — and holds it up. “What does it say about a man who keeps fucking trophies of his kills?” He stares at it, his lips pressed together until they’re practically nonexistent. Then he tosses it back into the crate and closes the lid. “Toss that goddamn shit out the airlock.”

There are days (many) when I just can't wrap my head around that I wrote all that. I don't know if I ever told you, but writing Zaeed and Garrus as a couple was pretty much what convinced me that the marriage I was in was not the marriage that I wanted and that it wasn't going to change, so I'd better fucking do something about it (because that's What Zaeed Would Do). I was so unhappy, especially in the last year. Writing about two badasses dumbasses and their accidental kids somehow saved my sanity (not to mention the amazing people I met while doing so). The entire Mass Effect series was pivotal to me not completely losing it during that time, and Zaeed and Garrus were the anchor to hold it all in place.

Whoever says fanfic is worthless is talking out of their ass.

Also, a lot of that series was written on my phone in the bathroom because that was the only private place I had at the time. Wheeee!

Thank you so much for the love. It really does mean the world to me that people go back and reread it.

Heh heh heh

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“Jesus Christ, Garrus,” Zaeed complains as he watches the other man set up a complicated mechanism that eventually ends up being a high resolution, telescopic camera on a tripod, “stick a gun on that and you’ve got a goddamn sniper rifle.”

Garrus lays himself flat on the very edge of the roof, pulling Zaeed down with him, “You said you wanted to be able to see their pores, so I’ll make it so you can see their pores.”

“Uh huh,” Zaeed grunts, laying down next to Garrus on the cold cement, but not before having a good look at the man’s ass on the way down.

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