30. ask me anything ! -- book format preference? paperback, hardcover, ebook?

I got into ebooks during the pandemic, when I couldn't go to my beloved local library, and while it is great to have so many books jammed into one tablet, my heart still belongs to paperbacks. Easier to read in the bathtub, less painful when you start falling asleep and drop the book on your face.

Hardcovers are nice, but cracking the spines feels murderous, and they are so expensive (ref: this post, which couldn't be more true).

oscar remembered when he’d gotten jumped in. he remembered the PAIN of every punch, every kick, and he still had bruises from it to this day. but he was so much more than the pain he’d endured. he was strong, brave, and downright TERRIFYING when he needed to be. as the leader of the santos, he needed to be respected, and the respect came from FEAR.

oscar had finally gotten used to the violence after a few years in the gang. he felt NUMB every time he kicked the boy to the ground. every punch he dealt was strong and purposeful. the boy, named hunter, had specifically asked to be in the gang for protection. oscar had agreed, but clearly hunter didn’t know anything about being jumped in. the poor teenager was crying out, pleading and begging for MERCY, not even fighting the blows anymore. it only made oscar hit him harder; not because he deserved it, but because a member of the santos couldn’t be WEAK.

“STOP CRYING,” he said in a firm voice, kicking hunter in the face again. hunter whimpered and curled up into a ball, unable to resist the blows. tears were streaming down his cheeks, and oscar should have felt guilty. but instead, he felt nothing... NUMBNESS. if anything, it was a dull pain in his chest from overexertion and a chronic lack of sleep.

he was so involved in what he was doing that he didn’t notice anyone behind him,

she was right. they only saw the colors. it was just another shitty fact of life. although he’d gotten used to it, it still bothered him sometimes; he just never really showed it. besides, what could he do about it? nothing.

“we ain’t CHILDREN,” oscar scoffed. it was a natural response, a defensive response. but his real response would surely disappoint nadine. he couldn’t stay with her, not if he wanted to keep her safe. people around him were in constant danger, and that’s the last thing he would want for nadine. then again, she wasn’t exactly a normal girl.

time travel couldn’t save her forever, though, and it would only be more painful when she left for real if he made this promise. he didn’t like promises, anyway - they were too fragile, too easily broken. but he couldn’t exactly say no to her.