#uwupaige

beams of the early morning sun shined down against catherine's face and her exposed back, her head resting comfortably against her soft pillows, which felt different this morning. the warmth against her smooth skin was comforting but the intensity of the light forced her eyes to flutter open. her vision was foggy for a moment, having definitely fallen asleep in her contact lenses.

the woman tried desperately to find her sleep again, enjoying the luxury of sleeping in this past week since she was technically off of while paige and madison were out of town. she shut her eyes and leaned into her pillow some more, taking in a deep breath. again, something was different about it this morning. the whiff she took was unlike her own scent, and more like what a certain blondes hair smelled like after a fresh wash.

the sound of water falling continuously against some kind of hard surface in the next room over filled her senses soon after, making the woman's eyebrows furrow. she turned her aching neck to find out who could possibly be in her shower.

that was until she realized that was in fact not her shower running, and she had not been asleep in her own bed, in her own room, in her own apartment.

she was in paige's bed. in paige's room. in paige's apartment.

her vision finally cleared as she took in the space around her. the dark bedding and the random purple throw blanket that definitely didn't belong to her, but for sure screamed paige. the way her dresser was a mess, her framed photos all collapsed against one another. and the two empty wine glasses resting naturally on her nightstand.

confusion struck and she would have began to freak out, but her mind was soon filled with answers as memories from the night before came flooding in as she looked around the sunlit room.

stumbling back and forth just a bit with the slightly shorter woman in front of her, paige let out an unexpected hum of satisfaction. her hands roamed slowly against her waist, catherine nearly mimicking paige's movements. she too needed the blonde as close to her as possible, her manicured finger tips reaching under her hoodie just a bit, grazing her soft and toned skin. it felt like fire against her palms.

pushing against catherine with her hips and torso, trapping the woman between her lean body and her wooden dresser, paige was not willing to let her go. their lips were still on one another, attacking each other lovingly, yet still so hungry.

they weren't exactly sure who would be in control, the both of them being the 'top' in different aspects of their relationship, or whatever it is they had.

catherine just assumed it would be paige after she eventually lifted her up off of the ground with ease, sliding her onto the dark, wooden surface behind her. she yelped and giggled into the heated kiss. the woman's hand flew back against the surface she had found herself sitting against now for support, the sound of a few of paige's framed photos collapsing behind her. paige smiled into her plump lips, not worried in the slightest about her high valued items possibly in some sort of wreck.

the tiny bit of chaos behind the brunette pulled her away from her personal version of heaven, catherine's heart jumping at the small realization of where she was right now, and a small wave of anxiety took over her slowly.

"mmph, paige," catherine spoke in between kisses, hushed, out of breath and now anxious. her words came out mumbled, not pulling far enough away from the blonde before her, merely murmuring against the woman. and something about that willed paige to keep going. the only time she's ever been able to shut her up willingly.

catherine tried to speak, but to no avail, just muffled gibberish. paige pulled away from her lips eventually, as she was simply allowing the woman to talk. she opted to trail down to her chin, ducking her head to kiss her neck, looking for the spot that would get the most reaction from her. something she was desperate to learn about.

the woman couldn't talk for a second, her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted, her mind instant mush at paige's touch. her hand moves from her shoulders to the back of paige's neck, holding her in place, silently begging her to not move. she couldn't help it, no matter what her mind was telling her in that moment, it all just felt so right.

slightly losing each other in translation, catherine was about to give up and just go all in. let go for just a second, something she hardly did. but anxiety is not that easy to shake.

"paige." she breathed out, her voice almost achy like she had been using all of her strength to hold that in: she sounded so needy. and it was everything paige had been wanting to hear. catherine was always so put together, so strong, and so witty. knowing she was breaking her down, knowing that she had her like this.. it turned her on to no end. she needed her.

"hmm?" paige hummed back, not pulling away, determined to not let this moment stop if it was the last thing she did. and if she knew catherine as well as she thought she did, she knew a list

of excuses and reasons for her to pull away were about to come next, ruining their moment. and she was prepared to fight for this.

catherine's moan vibrated in the back of her throat at the feeling of paige's lips sucking against her neck, the blonde so easily finding the spot that made her body melt against the wooden surface.

again, the brunette was at a loss for words, and her mind was completely distracted at the woman's lips against her body. the feeling of paige's fingers pulling at the knot that held her pajama pants securely at her waist brought her back down to earth slightly. and the feeling of her fingers dipping below into uncharted territory finally made her speak up, and allow the anxiety to return.

"slow down, p." she spoke, a low moan stuck in the back of her throat, daring to come out.

"i'm sorry," the blonde murmured against her tan skin, quickly slowing her kisses and her movements.

she didn't even realize she had been going as fast as catherine accused her of. she had been wanting to do this for the last almost three months she's known catherine. it was as if all of these suppressed thoughts and emotions over time just came at full speed, and she couldn't control herself.

"you smell good." paige complimented in a mumble, her mind clearly wandering to the other little parts of the woman she'd become so fond of.

catherine's vanilla and shea butter lotion was still stuck on her skin from earlier, and paige wondered if it would be weird if she took a whiff. pecking the woman's neck once more before she pulled away, her hands still caressing her thighs through her plaid pajama pants, paige looked up at the woman before her, barely even inches away. a goofy, love-struck smile played on her face, eyes still low. she was in a daze, unsure if this was all even real.

"thanks," the brunette giggled, her voice low, hand tangled in paige's bleached blonde locks. she bit down on her bottom lip, eyeing paige and the state she was in now. she was slightly looking up at the brunette, in awe, in love. it made her stomach drop and her heart flutter, and the addictive smile she had been wearing was not helping either. catherine gave her a shy grin, leaning in just slightly, that enough to let paige know she could continue with what she was doing. slowly, of course.

they moved quickly, catherine eventually pushing herself off of paige's dresser in attempt to get the ball moving, almost disregarding the warning she gave paige not even ten minutes ago about needing to slow down. her feet hit the floor with a thud, somehow not interrupting their kiss. her hands fell to the blondes waist, walking them both back slightly, waiting to hit the side of her bed. finally they did, paige's knees folding, causing her to sit.

on instinct catherine climbed on her lap, straddling her hips, never breaking their passionate kiss. paige caressed the woman's clothed thighs, wishing she could feel her smooth skin beneath the restricting fabric.

paiges warm hand then ran up and under catherine's dark red top, the feeling of her bare skin against her palms enough to make her lightheaded. she noticed the lack of bra restricting her, and she smiled to herself. she knew it.

she continued in what she planned on doing, her hands falling to the hem of catherine's tight and tempting shirt, beginning to pull it over her head. before she could get far, though, she felt the woman distracting her.

"careful," the brunette whispered in her ear, the word rolling off her tongue like it was meant to turn her on. and it did, but paige knew that wasn't why she said it.

"why?" paige breathed. she wasn't asking defiantly, but more so daringly.

"just go slow." catherine hummed, recognizing to the playful tone that coated the blondes words.

"scared?"

"no, p, just—go slow, please."

'slow? bet.' the blonde thought to herself.

"i promise." she spoke aloud. and, oh, did she deliver. she would later have catherine hate going slow.

the sound of water slowly dripping down the drain and slight humming echoed against the tile of paiges bathroom, a tune catherine couldn't quite place. it was enough to draw her away from the memories she couldn't stop feeling butterflies over.

her heart began to race at the sound of the doorknob turning, meaning she was about to be face to face with paige for the first time since last night. she knew she would be feeling anxious, but she was impressed with herself for not booking it out of them.

though it did scare her that she had almost no time to think, and any questions paige would have for her now would put her on the spot completely.

it's fine. she was fine.

the blonde stepped into her bedroom, dressed in warm clothes for her classes that day, towel in hand as she dried her blonde locks. she was in her own little world for a moment.

"hey, p," catherine spoke almost breathless, so caught off guard even though she was fully prepared for the woman's presence. she felt like her heart was beating a million miles a minute, she didn't realize how nervous she was to speak to paige until now.

paige was seemingly feeling just as put on the spot. she almost forgot about the woman in her bed, and the state that she would find her in when she returned: half naked and.. remorseful?

normally, paige could read catherine like a picture book, somehow being able to see right through any front she tried to put up. but, right now, she was hard to read. she seemed so calm, calmer than normal. her eyes were bright but her brows were low, on one hand indicating hope, and on the other showing vulnerability.

immediately, paige began to regret their night together. the thought of catherine running away after what they shared scared her beyond belief. she couldn't bare that kind of disappointment and pain. maybe that's why she responded the way she did.

"hi.." the blonde trailed off, clearing her throat, eyes flickering to anywhere but the now intimidating woman's eyes. she continued her towel drying movements on her wet hair, trying to act as casual as possible. "how'd you, uh, sleep?"

rumbles of laughter dared to leave catherine's lips, but she chose to stay on neutral ground, not wanting to push their nonexistent boundaries before she could get a good feel for how paige was feeling. though, it was quite obvious paige was feeling shy.

"i slept good." the brunette answered truthfully, genuinely feeling happy at the thought of them sleeping in the same bed. something about it just felt so right. catherine's eyes followed a pacing paige, her steps circling around her room slowly as she continued at her wet hair with her towel.

she tried to continue the conversation, for once not wanting to run away, needing and wanting everything to be laid out on the table. honest and raw. "you?" the woman asked.

paige didn't pay the woman an ounce of her sight, eyes trained on everything else she needed to do. she looked around her dresser, mere inches away from the woman in her bed, now noticing how some of her framed photos were knocked down. she made a mental note to fix those as she reached for her deodorant which had sat nearby.

the blonde could feel catherine's eyes on her, her body so stiff under her gaze all of the sudden. she couldn't even face her. "yeah, yeah, i slept fine."

catherine then knew something was definitely off, her read of paige becoming clearer the more they interacted. maybe she was just nervous.

"hey," catherine spoke, her voice soft like it normally was with paige, a hand reaching out to grab for the woman's toned arm, an attempt to earn her full attention. it was when paige's body didn't react well to her touch that catherine's hope began to dwindle. paige lightly jerked her arm away almost involuntarily, and catherine could not help but wonder: why?

what had happened between them falling asleep last night to now?

the sounds of catherine's soft, quiet snoring did not interrupt all of the thoughts flowing through the mind of the awake blonde beside her.

the woman was genuinely surprised that she was still awake this late at night. the time was nearing a half past one in the morning, and her bright, blue eyes were still wide open. she couldn't help but ponder.

what are we now? what does cat think? does she really want this? do i really want this?

paige was mature enough to know that this was obviously the anxiety speaking, and no matter how many times she tried to fall asleep, or how many conversations she had with god, it just wouldn't go away.

the only thing odd about this particular feeling of anxiety weighing down on her chest was the setting she was feeling it in.

if one thing was certain, it was that paige never felt anxious about or while laying in bed next to a naked woman. ever. this was, usually, her specialty.

but, there was something about catherine. her soft snoring and all. she made paige feel things she has never felt before. which felt super sappy for paige to admit, but it was the truth.

this is all too much.

it was much easier said than done in her mind, and now that everything had already happened, things could change for good, and it was terrifying.

frustratingly, the blonde sat up in her bed with a dramatic sigh, nearly forgetting she had sleeping beauty right beside her. paige paused, quietly slowing her movements, watching the way catherine began stirring, praying she didn't wake the woman up.

paige crept out of her bed, and eventually out of her room after finding a random outfit on her floor to throw on.

catherine retracted her hand instantly, instead reaching down on paige's floor, looking for any sort of shirt she could finally dress herself in, now feeling subconscious about the state paige had seen her in, and the way she reacted.

"what's wrong?" the woman started, really trying to not revert back to her old ways. she wanted to try. for paige.

the blonde sighed, mentally yelling at herself harder than she'd ever have on the court, annoyed at why all of the sudden catherine had made her tongue tied, and why she couldn't even explain that to her.

"sorry, i just.." paige started, still searching desperately for the right words. though, that would be the farthest she got. like clockwork, the sound of her bedroom door creaking open interrupted their intense moment.

madison's small face was all either of the women could see, peering through the crack in paige's open door.

"mom, cat's not here yet." the small girl informed the woman concerningly. as madison scanned the room for her mother, her eyes landed on the very person she had been waiting for all morning. a gasp left her lips, and her eyes lit up. "cat!"

the girl then pushed the door wide open, attempting to hop up onto paige's dark bedding where catherine had been sat up at. on instinct, catherine made sure her sheets were pulled up all the way, eyes wide and the slight feeling of guilt washing over her, almost like she had been caught by a parent. both of the woman caught each others eyes for only the second time that morning, shock plastered on their faces.

"maddie!" the woman exclaimed, trying to act as normal as possible.

"why are you in paigey's bed?" the small girl asked naturally, not skipping a beat, curiosity coating her words.

catherine cleared her throat nervously, "oh! uh," she started, searching for the best answer she could find. "we had a sleepover."

madison gasped, "you said sleepovers weren't allowed?"

"no, i—i said you weren't allowed to have sleepovers until you were older." the woman explained, the both of them completely sidetracked.

meanwhile, paige just stood there and watched their interaction, wondering how catherine always captured madison's attention anytime she was in the room.

and next thing they knew, madison was running out of paige's room, calling for catherine to come help her pick out an outfit for school.

"i'm coming," catherine called out to the little girl, hopping out of paige's bed with a quickness. her eyes roamed around looking for any pair of bottoms she could wear so she wasn't sporting just a pair of underwear. she found her pajama pants nearby, shimmying her way into them.

as catherine approached paige's bedroom door, attempting to leave, paige's voice stopped her dead in her tracks, turning to face the woman a little too eagerly. "cat?"

"yeah?"

those bright eyes that once held gleams of hope and vulnerability were now struck down, only holding looks of longing, confusion, and, the one paige did not want to admit, pain.

paige held the woman's eyes in her own though it hurt her so bad, "are we—"

unfortunately, madison had successfully interrupted them for the second time that morning, coming back to paige's room, tugging on the brunettes arm, whining for her to come help her.

"you're still awake?"

the sounds of catherine's groggy voice speaking, strained and sleepy, cut through the thick silence softly, pulling paige away from the glass of water she had poured herself mere seconds ago.

"just needed some water." the blonde assured, not sure how she should come off to the half-awake woman approaching her.

catherine sighed at the feeling of the cold kitchen tile against her bare feet, shuffling closer to the blonde she had set her sights on. and to say she was just a tiny bit more attached than any time before would be less than the truth.

paige's back was facing catherine, though her head peered over her shoulder, eyeing the woman as she approached her.

the next thing paige knew, catherine's head was leaning against her shoulder, a sleepy sigh to follow. neither of them thought about how comfortable their position actually was.

humming an okay to paige's response, catherine's lips pressed against her clothed shoulder in a comforting kiss. a hand rubbed at the blondes side momentarily before she spoke once again.

"don't take too long." catherine pleaded kindly, the only thing on her tired mind was making sure paige came back to bed.

the sleepy brunette then shuffled her way back to paige's bed with ease, finding her sleep again very soon after.

paige couldn't help but relish in how natural everything felt. how beautiful catherine looked even in the middle of the night. how she was just innately sweet and comforting. or, just how right everything felt.

yet, there was something weighing on her, and she still couldn't place it.

looking down at all of the photo frames on her dresser, paige took special interest staring at all of the ones her and catherine knocked over not even twelve hours before. and, she couldn't help but notice a small crack in one of them, which held one of her favorite photos of all time: a selfie catherine took of herself and madison at the park. paige's favorite people in the whole world, in one broken photo frame.

chapter eighteen: running.

"finally! i've been waiting for this to happen!"

"did you hear a word i said? she's acting so weird." catherine deadpanned, trying to pull her best friend down from her high and back to reality.

the woman had started to tidy up the bueckers home, something else to distract herself from the turmoil she had going on in her mind, finding out homework was not going to help. however, she eventually found herself sitting on the dark grey couch she was so familiar with, molly on the other end of the phone line, contemplating everything she's done to bring her to this God awful moment.

"who cares?! you fucked paige bueckers!" the woman on the other end cheered, dismissing her best friends worries.

"ugh, you're impossible." catherine sighed, a head shake to follow, though molly couldn't see. she couldn't help but throw her head back in slight frustration, not exactly needing the pick-me-up right now. honestly, she just wanted answers. and for everything to go back to the way they were.

"sorry, im just vicariously living through you." molly joked with a small laugh.

catherine scoffed, "oh my god, you're pathetic."

"maybe," molly shrugged, not sure if she'd completely disagree with the woman. she then tapped the facetime button on her screen, a sudden need to see her best friends face.

"aw, ma," the woman began, a small

pout on her face, "don't stress it. i'm sure she's just pulling a 'you' and trying to run away when she doesn't want to."

catherine dismissed the woman's spot-on read of her, focusing on paige and not her own issues. "why would she want to run away though?" she thought out loud.

"she's putting up a wall before you can." molly said as if it was common sense, snacking on something on the other end of the phone, the sound of her mouth full of food muffling her words just slightly. "she's scared of you running so now she wants to run.. she's literally just doing what you do."

catherine rolled her eyes at how well molly could clock her. though, she would admit it did make her feel better—knowing paige could've just been scared and not full on rejecting her. "paige has hooked up with so many people though, even just since i've met her. i could count like three times i've had to take maddie out of the house for the night so she could go on a date. she's not serious about me."

"it could all be her way of filling the void you created, cat!" molly explained, her own psychology degree coming into play.

"this is just what she does, mo. she's acting weird because no one's ever slept over."

"ugh!" molly sighed dramatically, wanting to backhand slap catherine across the face. "shut the fuck up and stop psyching yourself out. seriously, this back and forth is killing me and i'm not even in this situation."

catherine simply shook her head, knowing her friend meant no offense, and this was all out of pure love. "fuck you." she sighed, returning the favor.

"you love me. and you love paige. so just let yourself!" molly explained in nicer terms this time, her voice genuine.

the brunette sighed, not even attempting to correct her quite obvious assumption, "i'm so scared, though." she spoke, her voice small and honest, cracking a little bit, "she's already starting to hurt me."

molly could hear the pain in her best friend's voice, she could see it on her face. she knew her too well.

"hey," she starts, wishing she was there to hold and console her. "she's not trying to hurt you, she's just.. also scared." molly

explained, "nothing bad is gonna happen." she assures her, "and if things don't work out, you shouldn't let that break you. be proud of yourself for getting out there again. getting back to yourself. i'm serious, this is most you you've been in a while."

catherine wanted to agree. paige was so unlike anyone she's ever met, her absence would be absolutely earth shattering. and the thought of not being there for madison, in times that were the toughest though she didn't know, killed her.

and on the topic of getting back to herself, catherine couldn't even fathom. she hardly knew herself some days. she's only felt like herself when she was with paige and madison. only then would the world make sense. only then would pieces start to fall into place.

"yeah.." the brunette trailed off. "thanks, mo."

molly's smile transferred across the phone screens, catherine too missing the woman. "anytime.." she started, "so.. what exactly did you guys do?"

"molly!" catherine berates, not being able to help the laugh that came out, knowing that question was on its way. molly was trying to cheer her up.

"is scissoring real?" molly proceeds to ask, totally unserious, knowing she was getting on her best friends nerves. "i mean, you've told me no before, but i'm curious if paige knows the secret."

"ew, mo! no, we didn't.. we didn't scissor." catherine whispers that last part.

"okay, head queens." molly teased further, which catherine could only shake her head to. "rate it on a scale of one to ten."

catherine's eyes just met the woman's on the phone screen, blinking a couple of times with a small smirk that gave away the answer.

molly gasps, unsure of why she was so surprised. "swear?!"

"god, it was the best sex i've ever had." the woman whined as the remnants of last night bounced across her mind, desperately trying to just recall the pleasurable parts of the evening. she sat for a moment and tried to think of the word that best fit her thoughts. "she's just so.. experienced?"

"oh, so, she's a slut?"

"you're such a dumbass."

paige had been going to town on the woman's neck above her, learning that catherine particularly enjoyed being touched there. her hands rested comfortably on her waist and thighs, taking in the beauty that was catherine, wanting to feel every part of her, and learn about her.

paige was going painfully slow, catherine nearly regretting her previous statement, in which she warned her to slow down.

right now, in this moment, she just wanted it all. so bad, she almost learned how to turn her brain off, and fully and completely enjoy this moment.

so, when paige went in to remove her top again, she obliged happily, her fingertips grasping the hem of her tee, pulling the maroon colored top over her head.

paige stopped for a moment, relishing in the view.

the brunette was topless, sitting on her lap, her face full of raw emotion. her long locks laid comfortably down her shoulders and back, a long bang falling in front of her face. her eyes were doe and her cheeks were flushed, vulnerability apparent. she was letting paige in.

she was still scared, though, her face turning away from paiges intense stare, her blue orbs making her falter. her heart began to race when she felt the woman's lips find her body again, kissing her neck, but slowly traveling down.

the blondes warm lips kissed down catherine bare chest, taking her time. paige never really took her time, never truly thought about the feeling of her skin on anothers. inhaling in the scent that radiated off of her smooth skin, it was enough to drive her absolutely wild.

"you're so perfect," the blonde whispered, but just loud enough for catherine to hear her clearly. her chest rose and fell as she breathed heavily, unsure of how to properly handle the woman; the way she deserved.

again, she was normally a pro. her body count was a number some might call disgusting, she knew exactly what she had to do—but something about it being catherine turned her brain to mush.

"fuck, i want you so bad.. can't even explain it." paige spoke, nearly out of breath, just completely overwhelmed with excitement and anxiety.

"you have me." catherine spoke, her voice soft and honest, fully allowing herself to accept everything—paige, her feelings—and accept the love paige was trying to communicate to her.

those words, those three words, meant everything and more to paige. catherine trusted her.

paige let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in, her eyes glued on catherine, full of pure infatuation. she leaned in once again, gathering catherine's perfect lips in hers, grabbing a strong hold of the woman in her arms, carefully flipping them over.

the blonde laid catherine down on the bed beneath them, traveling further down until she met the hem of her plaid pajama pants.

quickly, paige stood up, knees lightly hitting the frame of her bed, reaching to rid herself of her own hoodie before reaching for catherine's bottoms.

and all of the sudden, their slow, languid movements had began to speed up. like, they were communicating through each others touch, both agreeing that they needed this and needed it now.

paige tugged at the last article of clothing on catherine's body, sliding her black, lace underwear down her smooth, tan legs. paige stood up one last time, quickly admiring the woman.

naturally, catherine found herself wanting to hide from paige intense gaze.

"my god, you're making me nervous." catherine huffed out a small giggle, clearly flustered.

a playful, cocky smirk played on paige's pink lips. "it's just me." she assured, though it wasn't comforting in the slightest, voice low. catherine knew she was about to either regret everything, or be begging for her life.

her hand came up to the woman's legs, attempting to pry them apart, but she could feel her hesitating. "relax for me, cat. i gotchu.”

the brunette nodded, lips pursing, doing as told.

watching paige's head dip further and further down her thighs, until she inevitably was settled perfectly between her legs, catherine breathed shallow breaths. her mind was blank, and her legs already wanted to squirm.

and the feeling of paige's mouth on her did all but help.

a gasp that sounded far too close to a moan escaped her plump and parted lips, the pleasure immediately shutting off her brain; letting every last thought of uncertainty vanish. "oh, fuck."

paige's movements were slow yet effective, at first, lips and tongue skillfully breaking catherine down. catherine tasted as good as she imagined, and all paige could think about was how much she wanted to keep doing this.

quickly, she sped up her movements, eating catherine out like a woman starved, a hand instinctively gripping the brunettes unsteady hips, holding her in place.

catherine's hand fell behind paiges head, willing her to not move. it wasn't forceful, more of a safety net to assure herself that paige wasn't going anywhere.

"oh, my god." catherine sighed contently, legs beginning to squirm, eyes shutting and her mouth agape, allowing for every moan and whimper to flow out, much to paige's delight.

"like that?" paige spoke, out of breath from the number she was doing on the woman, the confidence in her voice contradicting the nervousness she felt inside.

"yes—fuck."

paige wanted things to be perfect. she needed them to be perfect. perfect for catherine.

"fuck, cat," paige hummed, like she was getting off as much as catherine was right now. an array of nicknames and controversial praises dared to flow off of her tongue, but she willed herself to keep things neutral until she knew exactly what they were to each other now.

catherine's chest rose and fell with every movement, the immense pleasure almost unbearable. she couldn't take it anymore.

"paige—"

soon, catherine was a moaning mess, desperately trying to be as quiet as possible, her orgasm rushing over her after minutes of feeling unbearably close.

paige took her time to slow down, truly not wanting this moment to end. this moment she's been dreaming of for so long. so honest, so rare.

so perfect.

"god, she was so good," the blonde sighed, thinking outloud into the quiet lounge room, her mind unable to shake the thought. not even about how she made catherine feel, but about her ten out of ten performance right after.

"oh my gosh, you're such a dumbass."

paige scoffed—there goes her good moment. looking up from her lap at her best friend, shaking her head slightly, shoulders scrunched like she was playing innocent, paige almost stuttered on her words, a hand coming up in defense. "wha—"

azzi was quick to cut her off, knowing the roster of excuses paige had stacked in her mind already, shifting to completely face the woman sitting across from her on the large couch.

"you can't, like, face-to-face ghost her right after you guys hook up!" the woman explained, feeling as though this should have been common knowledge, clearly annoyed with her best friends near fatal actions. "you need to talk to her."

"what do i even say?" paige shook her head. in her mind, she had already decided to just give up. she wouldn't take anything azzi was about to say seriously, she thought..

which, to nobodies surprise, was weird. it was unlike paige to just give up so easily. she was always so competitive, and so determined. if she wanted something, she would get it. but, fighting for this new feeling scared her to no end.

"tell her you're putting up a wall because you don't want her to hurt you—or something like that. whatever sounds natural." azzi answered.

"i don't wanna push her away."

"if you don't go talk to her, you will push her away." the slightly younger woman explained, "you're doing exactly what you told her not to do."

paige sighs, a hand coming to rub the base of her neck, rubbing the soft, blonde hair that rested there under her ponytail. "y'know, i've got a lot going on, maybe this isn't a good idea. me and cat," the woman started, standing up from her seat on the old couch. "she's said it before, i shouldn't date anyone—"

"oh, screw what she said—screw what you think." azzi spoke, quickly, getting in paige's way before she could just walk off. "paige, just.. if you do that, you'll lose her. okay?" she explains, "and you want this, i know you do. you both deserve it—don't back out now."

unsurprisingly, paige did end up taking azzi's words seriously, genuinely thinking about them.

she did deserve this. catherine was good for her. and she was good for catherine.

and now, she really did feel like a dumbass. how could she so quickly and so easily just fuck something like this up? she had the ball in her hand, and she threw it to an opponent.

rookie mistake.

˚✧.*

catherine stood in the kitchen, peering over the sink as she drained the bowl of strawberries she just finished washing. next to her sat her older macbook, playing her final lesson of the semester, of her college career. finally.

it was all sort of peaceful. until it wasn't.

the sound of the front door creaking open drew her out of her calming afternoon. the brunette looked over her shoulder, finding no other than paige walking out of the tiny corridor towards the kitchen.

paige isn't sure what to say, soon catching catherine's gaze. so, luckily, catherine was the one to do so.

"hey," catherine spoke, almost just as unsure as paige. looking back and forth from the sink, the tall blonde, and her laptop, she rambled, "i'm leaving in a few to get maddie from school, i didn't know you'd be back so early."

the brunette shut the running water off, drying her hands off on a near rag so she could pause her lecture, before fully turning to face the slightly taller woman, leaning her body against the counter.

"yeah, uh, i only had one class."

"practice?" catherine asked further.

"just weight room, today. i went early." paige spoke almost plainly, shrugging her half empty backpack off her now tired shoulders, walking towards the nearest chair she could find to toss it on.

catherine nodded, crossings her arms that were once at her side across her chest, the crop top she had sported suddenly feeling too revealing for the energy paige was exuding. she followed the woman with her eyes.

a silent spell fell upon them once more.

and, again, catherine was the first to speak.

"paige.." the woman started, paige looking towards her faster than she would have liked to. "we needa talk.. about last night."

paige sighed, nodding. she found herself walking towards the kitchen, suddenly feeling parched. probably due to the fact that all of the blood in her body just drained and her mouth was feeling particularly dry. she hasn't been this nervous since the first game of her college career.

clearing her throat, paige spoke as she rummaged through the fridge, unable to look catherine in the eye. "yeah, what do you wanna talk 'bout?"

catherine's face, had paige been paying attention to it, changed within second. she desperately tried to face this with understanding, but paige was making it hard. her brows furrowed together and her nose scrunched.

"uh.." the brunette started, totally caught off guard by paige keeping up the nonchalant act. "about why you just.. were acting all weird after."

paige nearly dismisses her, a nervous chuckle to follow. "i'm not acting weird."

"yes, you are."

paige shrugged, shaking her head. "i don't see it."

"what is wrong with you?" catherine asked; genuinely before insultingly.

"i'm fine." paige responded, another shrug to follow, which catherine quickly learned would send her overboard.

shaking her head, her once soft voice became more venomous; "stop shrugging your fucking shoulders. you're not acting fine, stop lying."

"what do you want me to say, cat?"

catherine thought she was in an alternate universe, truly not expecting this. scoffing, she pushed her body away from the counter, ultimately leaving the kitchen. "nothing." she spoke, muttering a quick 'fuck if i try again' under her breath.

paige, unappreciative of the sly comment catherine thought she couldn't hear, decided to poke the bear. "what's your problem?"

"what's my problem?!" catherine turned fast on her heel, already heading back into the kitchen, "god—you, paige!" one hand gesturing frantically to the girl mere feet away from her. "seriously, you're just gonna.." she trailed off, lowering her tone, "you're just gonna act like that didn't happen?"

"cat," paige breaths out, her voice raised ever so slightly, "i just.." she starts, a slight head shake to follow, "i don't wanna start this if you're just gonna put up a wall again."

"what have i done since that's made you think that? you're ignoring me!"

"i know you, cat.." paige trails off, "in a-a day, you're gonna go all no contact on me." she spoke, her voice daring to crack.

all catherine could do for a moment was stare.

"you really think i don't want this?" her voice was soft, breaking. she might've trusted paige, now. but, maybe paige didn't trust her.

a moment of silence fell over them once again, both of their breaths ragged, like they had to contain the mix of anger and want flowing through their veins.

"i'm sorry." the two spoke in sync, catching each others eyes for a small second before one of them had to let out a snort, causing the other to just giggle.

how they could go from zero, to a hundred, and back to zero in seconds made their heads spin.

maybe it was a soulmate thing? they weren't sure.

a head shake followed catherine's small laughs, "ay, we're such a mess."

paige just nods, a hand coming up to scratch the back of her neck nervously. "extremely."

catherine just looked up through her lashes at the slightly taller woman, her eyes communicating everything and nothing at once. "i am sorry.. for making you think i didn't want—whatever this is. i know i didn't exactly said it, but i just thought since we slept together that, that was enough of an answer, and.. i'm sorry."

paige couldn't help herself.

those eyes could convince her to set the world on fire. that voice, soft, sweet like honey, could tell her the sky was purple and all she would be able to do is agree. her tongue darted between her lips, wetting them, a nervous habit she's had for a while. clearing her throat momentarily, she opens her arms slightly. "c'mere."

catherine let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, not hesitating to embrace the blonde, opting to rest her cheek on her shoulder, inhaling her scent.

"i'm sorry, too." paige spoke after a moment of silence, "i should've just talked to you. i shouldn't have ignored you, especially after opening up to me.. i just don't wanna lose you."

"you're not gonna lose me, paige."

authors note!

hi y'all... long time no see 🫣

pls don't kill me 🩷

yknow i had to give yall some sesbian lex since i robbed you last time. im sorry if it's bad i just tried to make it flow nice but idk, tell me if its bad pls and just forget about it :D irdk i could read smut for days, but idk how to write it 😔 anyways—

HI BADDIESSSS!! i missed yall so so much!! again, sorry for disappearing.. BUT things in my life are slowly falling into place, so the nanny should be making a return with more consistent updates SOON!!!!

as always, tell me all of your thoughts, complaints, etc! i love love LOVE reading all of your comments.

thanks for reading, i really do appreciate the support 🩷

- mari 🫧