I don't respond well to change. Which should be obvious considering that I still am holding out hope for the return of stirrup socks and the un-retirement of my personal idol, Craig Counsell. Unfortunately, age takes its toll and new players have to fill the holes left by those too old and weak to carry on. 

So, with Counsell gone, and the next champion yet to emerge, which multiple-glove-owning player should become the next object of our affection/unhealthy obsession? Which utilityman, overrated in traditional media and underrated in the saber-sphere, will ensure that the roster remains flexible, that the clubhouse manager has a uniform to scrub, and that the oncoming Hordes of Glaxon 9 will never reach our planet?

A couple of ground rules: 

They should be able to man the middle infield. They can mostly cover the less-mobile positons, but occasionally they need to play second or short. 

They should also be able to fill in for your Dad, if need be. 

A particularly noteworthy characteristic would be nice. Craig Counsell had the insane batting stance, Joe McEwing had the moniker of "Super Joe." 

Possession of the X-Factor. Otherwise known as "Grit & Gaminess." 

Not very good at hitting the baseball. 

Yet still possessing ability to trick managers into handing them hundreds of at-bats.

Has been employed by a variety of ballclubs.

So, the nominees: 

Willie Bloomquist

Qualifications: 

Has played every position except catcher and pitcher.

Has received more than 300 at-bats in each of the last two years despite posting an OPS of .657 and .724. Actually, that second one is quite acceptable. 

The living embodiment of Kirk Gibson's new-look gritty Diamondbacks. 

Somehow, someway, played for Team USA in the World Baseball Classic. Therefore he must be one of the 50 best players in America. Isn't that what that means? 

Could be the face of my fantasy video game franchise: BLOOMQUEST: Embers of the Mist. 

Eric Sogard

Has glasses. Not goggles, glasses. 

His glasses have a blog. 

He's famous enough to have someone make fake edits to his Baseball-Reference "Bullpen" page: 

Wait a second, I don't think the Liberal BeeJays are a real team...

Only 27, he's yet to have more than 108 plate appearances in a season. However, he's also only posted a 49 OPS+ in that time. 

Only played with one team. 

Ty Wigginton

Thick and bald. Like the ballplaying equivalent of an egg. 

He's been pressed into starter-like playing time throughout his career, hitting more than 20 home runs in a season four times. Is that too much power for a utility man? 

At 35, he hasn't played second base in two years. 

Played for seven teams, eight if you count the Cardinals this year. 

Ty Wigginton delivered the birth of his son, Cannon, in his home while on the phone with 9-1-1. That's legit. 

Named his son Cannon.  

An honest-to-gosh All-Star. 

Ty Wigginton, is that you? 

Because a league member decided a mere baby was more important than displaying dominance over other men and women across the Internet, a spot has just opened in the inaugural Old Time Family Baseball Utility Player league.

So if you like guys who have to carry an assortment of gloves or are enamored with that swingman at the back of the bullpen, this is the league for you. We carry two catchers, relievers, and every other non-catcher or reliever must have multi-position flexibility to be eligible. Does this new, bizarre, and amazing take on fantasy baseball sound like your kind of thing? Then why not click through and join the good fight. Oh, and there will be as-of-yet-undecided prizes to the victor. And probably to the loser. We'll see.

The link should work, but in case it doesn't, the password is Counsell and the League ID is 30792.

The draft is this coming Sunday, March 11th, at 1 pm Eastern/10 pm Pacific. And considering the format of the league, I strongly suggest you sign up only if you know you can make the draft.

As a lover of utilitymen, sidearming relievers, and the ability to own a single player's merchandise in a wide variety of colors and styles, naturally I love journeymen too. Jon Bois, using man's greatest gift, the human brain, investigates the journeyman like no one ever has before. Who are they? Where do they come from? Why do they keep getting jobs? 

In the case of Kevin Jarvis, who finished with a career 6.03 ERA in 780 innings, that's not so clear. Nor does it make so much sense for a player like Octavio Dotel who has the fourth best ERA+ among all pitchers who make the journeyman status. But that's just the way things go sometimes.