#usliving

Hello all!

I hope your week has been rather stress free. Sorry this post didn’t go up as yesterday as usual; my stomach was getting in the way again. 

This is the first part of a three-part #USLiving series about grocery shopping in the U.S. Quite a few things are different - a lot of them to the better, in my opinion. It’s the land of opportunity and this certainly applies to grocery stores and the shopping experience. Haha. Sometimes, it’s, even after almost 2 years, a little overwhelming for me when I am heading to a big store to actually, well, just get a few things.

Shall we? Here is what I can say from experience. What do you think?

1) Stores are open pretty much 24/7

Even on Christmas. Which actually makes sense (after I was completely shocked that people would work on Christmas Day), because in such a diverse country, not everyone is feeling festive on the holidays. So, if you feel like something from the grocery store in the middle of the night - get it. If you have an off-schedule and need to go shopping super early in the morning, or late at night - do it. There is a convenient time for everyone and the stores are open.

In Germany, your are lucky if a big store is open until 10 and everything is closed on Sundays anyway. That’s why it’s usually very quiet on the streets that day. Here, this is when the shopping haul for the following week begins.

2) Grocery shopping less frequently

Due to the quantities you can oftentimes buy (in one package), I got the feeling that people in the U.S. go grocery shopping less often than in Germany. Maybe it’s all the additives in a lot of things also? Correct me if you think this is wrong but back home people go to the store for only a handful of things if needed, sometimes shop every other day to fill up the fridge with fresh produce. Here, people tend to go once - maybe twice - a week and can really stock up with just one trip.

3) Shopping carts all over the place

So, this is one of the things that drives me nuts, maybe because I am a very organized German. Shopping carts are free. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t pay for shopping carts in Germany, but you do have to have a coin (or a coin like object) that has a certain size and that you can insert in the shopping cart to open the little chain and disconnect it from the other carts. Makes sense? This is so not everyone leaves their carts all over the place, or even walks right off with them. Because if you want to have your one-Euro coin back you need to bring back your cart to where you got it from in the parking lot and re-connect the cart you used. Can someone please explain why this is not the case here? Is it because of the freedom of the people, because you cannot expect them to carry around a coin or coin-like plastic object with them? Maybe. I think there is pros and cons about both ways. Fact is, people seem to be employed by the grocery stores just to walk around and collect the shopping carts which are literally all over the place.

4) Recycling? Rarely.

Recycling as we have it in Germany apparently doesn’t really exists. In front of grocery stores, there might be recycling cans but you don’t get a portion of your  money back for recycling. Whereas back home, basically every grocery store has a recycling section with a machine to put certain cans and bottles in and then you get a receipt with a split portion of your money back when checking out for recycling. However, I have learned that there apparently are a couple recycling centers around where you can hand-feed the machines and received credit for it.

5) More pricey

Here in San Diego, the price tag on groceries is, undoubtedly, bigger than in Germany. In general life in this city is way more expensive. You can complain about it, or you can just accept it. It’s what it is and I won’t be able to change it.

(I started writing this last night, as supposed to, but got so darn tired, which is why this #USLiving post only got live this morning. Sorry, folks!)

Friday, a week ago, I wrote about how my brother within a few days time decided to visit Rickey and I in San Diego - and arrived the night before here in Ocean Beach. Now, Friday, a week later, I am sitting on the couch, with little Pancho at my feet and Rocco snoring on the floor as it is (believe it or not) raining outside. Frederik left yesterday. A week went by in a whim. Six full days to be precise. 

We had a great time together that, once again, not only showed my how much we have both grown up, but also made me realize that the older we get, the closer we grow together. I wouldn’t want to miss my little brother in life. Hell no. Thinking back to the younger years when we were fighting like crazy and it must have seemed as if we deeply hated each other to our poor parents. But, “one day” - and that is now. 

The week we had Frederik in town was super relaxed; we did typical San Diego stuff. We hung out at the beach, Rickey took him shooting (probably his highlight), we had drinks at the best spot in town - OB Wonderland -, did CrossFit together, and had a BBQ during which Frederik ate his very first s’more ever. It was great and I think he enjoyed his time off school, also. 

It’s funny how every time someone visits (not that this happens often), it’s a reminder for me how lucky I am to be living here with my hubs. In San Diego, where other people come to vacation. I actually spent more time at the (dog) beach the past week than I did in 4 months combined probably. Not even kidding. But that’s good. Having family over puts things into perspective. It’s not that I take being here in SD for granted, hell no, it’s just everyday life that also happens here and I think “going to the beach” is something I still associate with being on vacation myself. 

I love the life we are building. But after almost two years of not having set foot on German ground, I sure do miss my family every once in a while. The desire to be home for just a couple weeks is definitely growing. But hopefully soon. Being home in fall would be my ultimate fall experience (you know, bundling up, changing leaves and all that...). 

Have a great weekend, all! We are heading off to the mountains now. 

Hi folks! 

I hope you finished your week off strong. We have a long weekend ahead as it’s Labor Day on Monday. It’s the perfect timing, as - drumroll - my brother is in town!! Say whuuut? After almost a year, he surprised Rickey and I basically with the news a few days ago: “I was thinking of coming over for a week because I found a super cheap flight.”

Oh my gaaaawwwd! Of course, yass! I was so stinking excited - and now he is here. He flew into LA last night and had a rather long journey (planes, buses, trains to eventually arrive down here in San Diego). But he made it and we had a great first day today. From morning walks with the doggies, breakfast in OB, to finalizing tux arrangements for Rickey and my upcoming wedding in January, to Starbucks runs (because...jet lag and I don’t really need a reason to get coffee), to working out together at the gym, going for a lengthy walk with the new little fur baby at the beach and dinner at home - it was the perfect first day and San Diego was shining bright. Literally. And it was hot.  

Welcome back to sunny San D.!!

Oh, and the photo was taken at the Bali Hai today; we showed Frederik where our wedding reception will take place in a few months. 

I still cannot wrap my head around this. Also allows me to see my life here from a different perspective for a while, namely through his eyes. I love life with my better half in this particular place on earth. Even though everyday life kicks in, it is important for me to take moments here and there to reflect upon what I have achieved in life, how it generally played out and what path I am on. It’s amazing. I never want this to end. 

Now, we have an eventful weekend ahead of us...and that’s it for today, friends. I am wired but excited for the next few days. 

Not having been back in Germany for almost two years (sounds so crazy!) makes me appreciate my family so much more. I am one lucky gal. 

142 more days to go - we are getting closer, friends!

We have officially entered the planning stage and are taking big steps towards ticking some important items off the list.

Now, what have we been up to? I'll tell you right now!

1) Both Rickey and I have made our decisions pretty much as of who we want to be standing by our sides in front of the altar. They will be notified shortly. 

2) Sunday, we went tux shopping. Mainly to get a first overview of what we want and what would look good (well, ehem, what I would like Rickey to wear; he did have a say, though). Also, to figure out the color scheme we have in mind. It was fun!

3) My dress is here and I have my first fitting beginning of October. I cannot wait to try this most special dress on again, soon. It's just the one and I know now what people mean when they say "Oh, you'll know if it's right for you or not". I am so glad I found my wedding gown when my mom and granny were in town in April. It made it even more special.

4) We made a decision on who our photographer will be.

5) We have started a list of potential "first dance" songs. I am telling you: It's definitely not going to be a conventional one. (...and that thing with the music, that I mentioned in the subject line? Well, I have been absolutely emotional about that. Every time I think a song would be right, I start bawling my eyes out. Might as well start thinking about getting permanent make up that cannot be washed away by my happy tears on our wedding day, haha.)

6) We met with our DJ and ticked that item off the list. 

7) I went shoe shopping with my lovely Chelsea yesterday, to get a first overview. I didn’t expect to find the perfect pair of shoes anyway (and should be right with my assumption), but it was good to see what could potentially be fitting. On to the next round shortly...gotta get those shoes before my October fitting. 

Yes, so these are the main things we have been doing the past couple weeks. I think it's pretty good pace.

This is what we have planned and in our calendars:

1) Narrowing down affordable options for videographers. (Okay, here is the thing: I have been watching so many wedding films that I feel like this would be the best way to capture the day - even more than photos. Yet, not having a photographer is absolutely no option. So...we are trying to get both. No money to waste here, but it is supposed to be the day for us, one of the most special ones in our lives, so making it near perfect and having the opportunity to re-live this day is totally worth it in my opinion.)

2) Sending out our bridesmaids / groomsmen "Popping the Question" mail. (Which is a whole celebration in itself and makes me so happy ... and again, it's one of the things that are so much more different than in Germany.)

We feel that up to this point we still have everything under control, haha. We are really not stressed but having fun right now. I hope it stays that way.

Happy Fri-yay lovely people!

I have a little note book. Actually, I bought it just recently at Target, to collect and organize thoughts about life in the US (so, for this post series essentially), as well as write down moments for my #SundayGratitude posts. I keep forgetting many of the impressions I have had during the week by the time I actually sit down and want to start typing. So, this little note book of mine is undoubtedly worth it.

Now, having had a look at it yesterday lead me to writing this #USLiving post: a few - more or less random and not connected at all - observations I have made and realizations I’ve had this week.

Here we go again. Life in the U.S. is a peculiar thing and I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

1) Customized Licence Plates

I legit burst out into laughter a few days ago when Rickey and I were stopping at a light, behind a car with a licence plate that (I shit you not) said: SlapBeti. Now besides that fact that I had a lot of questions in my head immediately (Who is Beti? Why slap here? Are you, driver of this car, Beti, and like to be slapped?), the point is that over here, licence plates don’t just consist of numbers and letters, oh no. Want a real personalized one? Not a problem at all. After all, it’s the “Land of Opportunity”, or rather of endless opportunities. If you fancy a laugh, check out Pinterest for some hilarious licence plates (omg, people!)

2) Car Sizes

Okay, granted, I had this realization years ago, when I first visited the states but it became pretty evident again at some point this week: Cars are just bigger over here. Maybe not so very much down here in San Diego, as city life often times requires a more manageable sized card (downtown city parking is killer...) and thus, specifically the little Fiats become more popular. However, trucks are still a real American thing. And what can I say? I kind of have a thing for those, big time. Totally uneconomic and polluting monsters, realistically seen, I get it. So, am I driving a truck? Ha, absolutely not! (Rickey does, though, but not a completely beefy one.) Do I wish I would? Heck, no. I would hit everything and everyone and city driving would give me several panic attacks. My solution? The littlest or cars. I made it without a car in car nation for about 9 months or so. Since public transport is not cool (or rather almost non-existent), I needed to make my life a little more convenient. I love my little Nugget” and yes, I do take it on the freeway (for anyone who has this question in their heads right now; a lot of people ask me that and I believe it has something to do with size again here). It’s the funniest when people ask this so seriously and sometimes in total horror.

3) Every Day Is Like “Casual Friday”

Everything is more relaxed, more casual here in sunshine city. This also relates to the dress code. You should see me on weekends. If I don’t need to go anywhere, I run around in workout clothes. Well, and even if I go somewhere during the day, you will most likely see me in gym pants and a tank top. It took me a while to adapt to this, but it’s just so darn easy. And the best thing? Pretty much everyone does it. (Again, there are always exceptions to the rules and nothing wrong with wearing nice clothes, on the contrary.) Of course, if there is a special event, or we go out do dinner, for instance, I greatly enjoy dressing up. But it also depends on where we go, haha. And then I have weekends where I just want to look a little more decent - decent meaning jeans, a nice t-shirt and not a messy bun and some mascara on. And then Rickey all too often goes: “Why are you dressing up?” Makes me laugh every time. See the little German-US difference in style here? What’s casual clothes for us can most likely be considered “more dressed up” over here. Maybe it’s just San Diego in particular...

4) Prescriptions Made Easy

Let’s talk doctors here for a second. I am not getting into the whole (controversial) healthcare topic (as I might still know too little about it to have a critical opinion) but one thing is for sure: Some things are just so much more advanced. Like...I was almost mind-blown how advanced. Let me give you an overview (and to those Americans out there, this won’t be anything new and exciting, but trust me, Germany is far behind when it comes to how healthcare routines are managed).

Now, first of all, we do have an online account through which everything is managed: health and wellness news, appointments, emailing your doctor, prescriptions, and refills. One thing that is completely normal here is to send your doctor (GP) an email if you have general “health and wellness” questions. Say what? Since you saw him/her for a general physical before, they have all info about you on file and give you guidance. They usually respond within two days. Now, the other thing I experienced just recently and that really blew my mind away (I am not even kidding!) was the fact that I actually grasped at the opportunity to email my GP about something; she responded, and just said “...I prescribed you...let me know how it goes.” Umm, what? Where? What just happened?

So, bottom line is: She gave me a prescription for something that would usually take a whole long process to actually get in Germany: Go to the doctor, wait, have it prescribed by him/her, take the piece of paper to the pharmacy. Here, since she just recently saw me, just gave me the prescription right away. It was automatically listed in my account, I just had to go to the pharmacy with my insurance card and they had it ready to go for me - without any surcharge. I mean...just imagine emailing your doctor personally in Germany...let alone this super convenient prescription procedure. Thumbs up. That was easy.

Any similar experiences you have made, living abroad, things that are different, yet tend to be better in your opinion?

Have a great weekend ahead and tag along on Instagram & Twitter if you fancy.

We all, one way or another, evolve. Thus, some relationships change. And then it’s up to us how we cope with this transition - worst case, with the loss of a very good friend. Because: change. I would even go as far as saying that we have all been there.

I have always been one to say that change is good. Change is opportunity. Change is new beginnings. Well, yes. And no. In certain aspects. I always considered change as something awesome when I found myself stuck in a situation, a way of life, I wasn’t truly happy with. Change was the chance to get out of that and start something new. When I am, however, happy with something and then some sort of change happens that I don’t particularly like, that I personally consider negative, well, then that change can throw me off. Especially when it involves a relationship I was proud of having built or am thinking of having the potential to become a somewhat “deeper” relationship. It has happened throughout the years - and it might again.  

The shitty part is technically the realization that something is not working out (anymore) and you see all the efforts - of course, you are trying to be the friend you want to have, right? - just seem to come from your end. That realization can be upsetting and frustrating. Either when you are just about to build a relationship with a person or have had a good bond (you thought) and this now seems to crumble for whatever reason (and the worst case is, when you don’t even know exactly why, but it just happens).

Now, why am I saying all this you might ask yourself at this point? Right, I get you. And I will explain in a second. I just want to highlight at this point that what I am going to say is not meant to offend any U.S. American here. It’s my personal experiences and every single person is different. This #USLiving series is meant to show the good things and the things I as a German might have a little more trouble with adjusting to or dealing with over here. The following sensitive topic is one of the things and it’s something I would like to personally share. 

So, that being said...

I have made the experience that American folks can be flaky (and I say “can” because not everyone is), to an extent I hadn’t experienced before anywhere else. 

Now, what I have always really liked about this country is that it’s super easy to get in touch with people, as they are usually very outgoing and easy to approach. They all too often talk to me before I can even say something. So, ya, I do really like that. However, then getting past the smalltalk phase, let alone building actual friendships, is a whole different story and this is where my frustration comes into play every now and then. 

You know, my biggest problem as a German is when someone says “Hey, next Saturday, let’s go do this and that, hang out” and I go “Yes, cool, sounds good, just let me know the details”, and I then completely set my mind on said next Saturday planning to do whatever has been suggested - and then have to realize that nothing is ever going to happen. I call it flaky. I don’t like it. I am used to that when someone suggests something, you even pick a day, that you basically have a date. It’s gonna happen. Not here. (There are great exceptions to the rules - also made this happy experience.) Sometimes, I follow up, but then I don’t hear anything or plans fell through or whatever it is. It disappoints me. What disappoints me even more is that I am getting to a point where, when someone says and suggest any possible plans, I even think to myself “Okay, not gonna happen anyway, but nice to know.” I don't want to think like that, though. But that’s my only personal self-defense. (It sounds so dramatic.)

So, ya, bottom line is, I have personally experienced a real disconnect between saying and actually meaning it more than ever before.

The trouble with building meaningful, “deep” relationships is the one thing. Having finally come to a point where you think you have established a stable base and the realization that something is going backwards creeps up on you - after the effort only seems to be on your end - is the other thing. I get self-doubt. Am I becoming boring, not adventurous enough? Am I weird in some way? All these things. But as described above, maybe all this is a natural, meant-to-be process of gradual change and not even to be taken very personally. Maybe just a phase because of the other person’s certain circumstances. But it’s bugging me. 

And then there is a third scenario in that there seem to be a number of people out there always looking for “the best party”. Literally. You get hit up if their plans fell through and make new plans because they are kind of panicky to end up without any plans - only to get a slap in the face by them saying that, a day later or so, their former plans are still on the agenda now. Sorry. 

As I said, not all people are like that and one of my oldest and very best friends just so happens to be American. 

But, as San Diego has it, I need to be more relaxed about things I guess. I am a type A planner, but some things simply cannot be planned, as they will eventually happen the way they are meant to be. If friendships are meant to be, they will happen eventually. It generally takes time and maybe 20 months in this country aren’t enough to have thirty very good friends - if anyone ever will in their lives. And yet again, everything will fall into place. I just need to get a little bit of “strict” German out of me and learn not to take things people say all too seriously (and get excited to quickly, for that matter). 

Be well and have a lovely weekend, everyone. 

Disclaimer: Again, this is not to offend any Americans here. This is just an observation I have made since I came here more than one and half years ago. I also know that generalizing is never a good idea and simply not true. After all, it’s the country of my choice and where I will hopefully be allowed to stay put, as it makes me feel most like home - and the kindness and openness of the people I have also been lucky enough to experience plays a huge role in that. 

Hello you lovely people! 

I hope you had a good week and are ringing in the weekend in style. This will just be a very short post sharing my excitement with you about a big day. 

August is officially here and for some reason, I woke up yesterday and it hit me: 5 and a half more months until Rickey and I exchange our vows (that don't exist just yet) before God and all our loved ones. SO THRILLED. My heart is about to explode and I am so full with joy these days. IT'S GETTING SO REAL! For years, I have been dreaming of walking down the aisle with my dad, in a white dress, my man looking at me in awe and tearing up (because, you have to know, if this happens, this is actually special because Rickey, unlike me, is not the most emotional of people, haha).  

You guys, the planning phase for our church wedding has officially begun! Whoop, whoop! Now, some of you might think that it's only 5 and a half more months until January 14 and SO much to do. But let me tell you: We were pretty quick with locking in the most important things: I said yes to the dress back in April, when my mom and grandma were still here; we booked the church, and also our beautiful reception venue. Now, we have to take care of "little" things (not less important, though) such as flowers, cake, bridesmaids and groomsmen, selecting color schemes...and so on and so forth. But I have everything planned in my head already (and Rickey finds joy in going with the flow - haha, that man!).

It's going to be amazing. As we cross items off our list, I will share with you our progress in upcoming #USLiving posts. Because be assured: There are - and will be - a lot of differences between Germany and the U.S. when it comes to wedding planning! 

You all have a wonderful weekend. 

But for real! In case you haven’t figured it out at this point already: This week’s short #USLiving post is about food. Food in America. More so: eating out in the U.S. 

Believe it or not, there are some significant differences between where I come from - Germany, in case you are new here  - and the Land of the Free. I was meaning to take today’s post in a slightly different direction but while I was having dinner earlier, for some reason all the little things different when eating out over here came to my mind. And here I am.

Now, without further ado, find the 7 things that are strikingly different to Germany when eating at a restaurant here in the U.S. 

1) Ice Water

What can I say...Americans love their ice water. I know some that order it room temperature like me (but she technically was born in Germany also - my former landlady Annie -, so she has specific genes, hehe). Each to their own but I for one cannot deal with Antarctica in my water glass. Brain freeze, tooth sensitivity, and stomach pain. Blame it on being a redhead, or on being a European - your choice. 

2) Free Water

I love it! Water should be free everywhere. It’s not in Germany, though. Well, technically it is. It’s just that no one asks for tap water because, errr, it’s just not a thing and you would get a strange look. Bottled water is what people order - and ultimately pay for. Carbonated is a thing, also. Over here, you get as much (tap) water as you want to when you dine out. Thank you, ‘merica. I like staying hydrated for free. 

3) Check Before You Ask 

One thing I find a little strange and sometimes feels as if they want to kick you out of the restaurant is that if you don’t order anything else, you get the check with a friendly: “Whenever you’re ready, not rush.” Weeeellll...thank you, I am still eating. May I finish or should I leave you my credit card right away? Haha. Back home, you are being asked several times if you would still like something to drink, dessert etc. Even if you said no, the server would not bring you the check - and here is the difference - unless you ask for it. Ever. 

4) Tipping More

I kind of have an idea why the check arrives so early on your table, basically while you are still eating, namely because the waiters and waitresses over her rely a great deal on the tip customers leave, as they only get paid minimum wage. (Sometimes even less than that?) So ya, I do understand that the more often there are new people, the more tip you get and eventually you go home with more money at the end of the day. Bottom line is: In Germany, we say you tip about 10% or even less. Here in the U.S., the norm is about 20% - 25%. 

5) Portions for Two (or Three)

Okay, so this certainly depends on what kind of place you are eating at (the fancier the less food on your plate, is my personal rule of thumb) but generally, portions in the U.S. are large. It used to freak me out (I have this weird anxiety...) having an enormous place in front of me knowing that once I would be full there would still be so much food on this plate that people would ask themselves if I even ate anything. Sooooo that’s that. I also realized that portions are not made to be finished (I mean, you can, but the majority of people don’t). I figured out for myself that the best portion size for me (sometimes I even can’t finish those) are the appetizers. Yes, they are usually a real meal (for me, at least). We all know it: Everything is bigger in the U.S. It’s a fact.

6) Boxes (or “Doggy Bags” - Is that what some people really call it?)

This one ties into what I just said: Portions are large and its just all too common that people don't return an empty plate to the kitchen. Boxes. They are essential. Actually, I got so used to them that I am not really stressing about food portions anymore. Take home what you couldn’t eat - and have lunch the next day. So many times. Been there, done that - and will continue doing it. But this is just not a thing back home. Asking for a box? Errr...a confused look is what you will get. If you can’t finish your food, you leave it. Also, portions are way smaller in general, anyway.

7) Clearing Plates

I can very well live with all of the above - and I can also live with this one, but apart from the “check while you might still be eating” thing the “clearing plates from people at your table that are already done eating while you are not even half way through your food” is something that requires me getting used to. It’s like you are rushed to finish eating. Maybe it’s just me?! Anyway, in Europe - or Germany in particular - all plates will usually be cleared at once. Usually. 

There you have it, my impressions on eating out over here as compared to my home country. 

I love the States. Duh, otherwise I wouldn’t want to build my life here with my better half, but being born in another country means comparing is just natural. I don’t mean it in a negative way when I do, or trying to point out what’s better and worse or what’s wrong or right. It’s fun - and I am simply stating the differences I notice. No offense to anyone. Some things I don’t have trouble at all adjusting to, others - like the ice water situation - I just try to work my way around. And it does work for me. You just gotta find your ways.

Have a fabulous weekend, everyone!