I went roller skating today
First time since before my surgery so almost 2 years ago
First time I used my good dance boots since I quit skating when I was around 11/12 years old
I quit skating around the time I began puberty, when it started to hit me hard with debilitating periods. Part of me didn't want to compete with the possibility of bleeding through or being hopped up on Tylenol or Motrin. I gave up something I really liked because part of me thought I wouldn't be able to do it.
Today I skated almost 3 hours. I could do parts of the Denver Shuffle and Siesta Tango. I sped around the floor to a fast skate, spun on my toes to the Hokey Pokey (something I've never been able to do is spin since I only did dance and figures), and I shot the duck and was one of the last few still upright. As I did the corner parts to the Siesta Tango I felt like a champion again; I felt tall and strong in my core and confident that my feet would take me the right direction. I turned completely backwards and didn't look behind me as I did the steps and turns to something that terrified me even when I was competitively skating. I felt something I hadn't felt for almost 10 years:
I felt normal
I didn't feel the aches in my hips or back or pelvis, I didn't feel the nausea or cramping, I had no twinges of pain in my left abdomen or in my tailbone. Today I only felt the confidence in my posture, the delicate movements of my feet, and the power in myself.
Sure I'm paying for it now; chronic illnesses do that to you after some time of enjoyment. To feel so normal for so long however was the best feeling I've felt in a long time.
I am an Endometriosis warrior
But I'm also a two time national champion in artistic roller skating and the last year of my career was my personal best, having won first in figures and second in dance at regionals, almost placing third in figures at nationals
I am more than my disease
It felt good to be normal again
