it has been a long two weeks of convincing rowan to not die. he partially blocked on july 14th, and we've been back and forth from the er and work ever since.
it truly is his annual tradition to have a medical emergency. not helpful that he is a massive asshole at the hospital, and despite a ton of drugs on board, no one walked away unscathed... not his fault, but i'm gonna have a few cool new scars over sq fluids.
(good thing he wore his astronaut helmet)
he felt so gross and stressed, he was refusing to eat/drink and was either pacing between litterboxes or sleeping. i spent the time noting every breath he took and trying not to hyperventilate. gaba has been a lifesaver, he gets hella munchies.
after losing river, this time felt different. i think it kinda traumatized me to lose river. when rowan started crashing again a few days ago, i was absolutely losing it. thankfully, it's a simple uti. with some good drugs and antibiotics, he's doing a lot better. worst part now is that it has been so hot and humid, and that does not pair well with his fever and urgent need to be touching me at all times.
he stresses me the hell out and is the forever leaking hole in my savings account. c'est la vie, he is my blood son. i would kill for him (he is now insured for a reason)
i love you. stop trying to die.
