#upgoer five

Part Before The Real Story

Any Dream Will Do

Father And Sons/Son's Clothes

Son's Dream

Sad, Sad, Son

One More Dead Person In The Place Of The Dead People

The Guy With A Lot Of Money

Close Every Door

Go, Go, Go, Son

Story Of The Leading Man

Sad, Sad, Leading Man

Song of the Rock Star (Seven Big Animals)

Leading Man's Dream

Wow, Kill The Animals That Fly

Those Days We Used To Know

The Brothers Come To The Place Where The Food Is

Who Took The Food?

Youngest Son Song (With A Beat From A Place Far Away)

Second Youngest Son All The Time

Father In The Place Where The Food Is

Ending Song: Any Dream Will Do/Give Me My Clothes With Bright Colors

City That Is Up High With Lots Of Water

The Man From Another State And The Man Who Helps Him (Where I Want To Be)

Opening Business

Song For Four People (A Thing That Was Nice And Calm)

The Man From Our State And The Woman (No One's Side)

Game You Play On A Table

Song For Two People In A High Up Place

Woman Leaves Her Job

Sad Song By The People Who Come From One State And Work In Another State Song About One's Home

One Night In A City With Bars

God Help My Heart

Talking Fight

I Know Him So Well

The Deal (No Deal)

Feel Bad For The Child

The End Of The Game

No One Cries For The Bad People

Dear Old School

The Man Who Has Strange Powers And I

What Is This Feeling?

Something Bad

Dancing Through Life

Cool And Well Liked

I'm Not That Girl

One Short Day

A Man Who Feels Many Things

Fighting The Force That Pulls You To The Ground

Give Thanks To The Good

Very Good

I'm Not That Girl (Again)

As Long As You're Mine

No Good Act

People Walking Around To Look For And Kill A Bad Woman

For Good

Les Miz song titles (according to my tracks) rewritten in Upgoer Five language. This is actually surprisingly easy.

What happens when you try to use only the most 1000 common English words to explain reasonably complex ideas? You get Up-Goer Five.

A while back, the guy who makes XKCD did a comic explaining the Saturn V rocket. But because it's fucking complicated, he decided to only use nice, easy words so everyone would understand. The 1000 nicest and easiest words, as it were, or at least the most frequently used. This was the result.

So, without further ado, this is my attempt. See if you can guess what I'm talking about before you click the 'read more' to find out!

Time to learn about the cold up-top gods! The cold up-top gods have pointed head covers. The head covers are made of pretty-rock and have animal part points. Sometimes they also have animal part pretty bits to keep them warm. One cold up-top god has a pretty-rock on the end of a stick. He is the only person who can pick it up. He also has face hair. He controls the sky-noise and rain and things. Many people wear a thing that is like his pretty-rock on the end of a stick to show that they like the cold up-top gods, or that they like face-hair sky-noise god.

- me, using Up-Goer Five Text Editor

Premise being, say...whatever, using the thousand (ten hundred) most common English words. Like, say, this: 

To be or not to be, that is the question: Whether it is better in the mind to be hurt By the pain that life throws at you, Or to take arms against life's troubles And end them by force? To die, to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart's pain and all the many shocks That come to living humans. It is an ending everyone should want. To die, to sleep; To sleep: perhaps to dream: yes, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have slipped out of our bodies, Must make us stop and think. That's the reason That we keep going through life's problems. For who would take time's hurting again and again, The mean man's bad act, the high man's bad words, The pain of one-sided love, the wait for truth, The wrongs of those in power and the bad things That good people should not have to take, When he himself might end it with a cut? Who would carry something heavy, Would tired and hot pull it through life, But that the fear of something after death, The strange place from which No one returns, holds the will in check And makes us stay with the problems we have Than fly to others that we know not of? In this way our minds keep us in fear; And in this way our own true power Is made soft and sick by thinking. And great important plans By such thoughts are turned and lost And are not acted on. Oh! Here is the beautiful girl! In your songs be all my faults remembered.