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Doing responsible adult things is always a headache when the involved parties don't communicate.
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The first tropical cyclone in our country is named after my grandmother who passed away almost a year ago. It feels funny and sad at the same time. I joked to my family about how this is a different way of letting her presence be known or "pagpaparamdam" to us.
Please, keep our country (Philippines) in your hearts and minds because we'll be voting for the country's future senators in a few hours. The mock votes have shown positive results and I'm just hoping that there's enough people in this country who aren't blind and will vote for the right people. I wasn't nervous a few hours ago but remembering what happened to the presidential elections got me worrying about the same thing happening to the senatorial elections.
I've long accepted that there's something wrong with me and I'd take myself to talk to a professional just so I can get help and get my shit together bcs I'm so fucking tired of not being able to just focus on finishing the things I need to do. Like, can my brain not? Just for a few hours, I'd deeply appreciate if it just sticks with what I need to do. For fuck's sake, I only need to type a couple of terms for my flashcards and I can't even do that without finding the right bgm or having my phone open so I can read while working. I'm torn between needing a lot of things before I can work on anything and not being able to work on anything because there's too much going on or it's not enough.
I'm going to chop my fingers off. Getting myself used to writing on my left hand continues to tempt me because my right hand and arm are fucking overworked & I want to avoid causing an injury on this hand due to over-exertion. The next time I go back home, I'm taking the writing exercise sheets my younger cousin had when she was younger.
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lmao my relationship with my mom sucks sooooo bad that anytime they're video-calling me and she's the only one the screen, there's just awkward silence for minutes XD (bit of a rant under the cut)
It still hurts whenever I don't reciprocate her energy because at least she's trying but a part of myself is there to remind me that it's always like this. There'll be days that she acts like she loves us and most days where she's a stranger. I'd only get hurt again if I let myself believe for a second that she's going to change.
Going to be inactive for the next two weeks bcs of life and university. I wanted to upload a Valentine's Day fic featuring James and his partner but I couldn't finish it on time and I'm not happy with where it is now. But I'll still drop by from time to time whenever I'm procrastinating or resting :D
Unrelated rant to this announcement below bcs I'm too lazy to make a separate post
Hit by another random wave of grief as I wash my grandma's cardigan. I'm crazy sentimental to the point I can't get rid of the used tissues inside the pocket of the cardigan my grandma used to wear. I've worn and washed it numerous times to the point the tissues are all torn apart but I still haven't thrown them away.
