this is ridiculous. this is pathetic. this is hysterical. ive been groveling in agony this past week because i fucked up and lost a friend in the process and now all my anxiety and pain has caused me to dissociate from it therefore making me numb. i overdosed on zoloft and had to go to the er for that shit where i had to vomit it out of my system before they forced a tube through my nose down to my stomach to pump in charcoal. but you know the funniest part about this? ive been kept gravitated by soldier boy. soldier boy as in THE BOYS soldier boy. motherfucker was a dude who killed numerous families and got away with it, he’s a misogynistic asshole and is abusive to hell and back, and yet for SOME REASON every time i think about him my brain pumps absolute serotonin because he has been Carelessly selected as the Fuckboy of the Century in my mind where he can and abdolutely WILL destroy my oc with his dick. Soldier Boy singlehandedly forced me to continue doing what I loved after days of not doing so. Soldier Boy. Soldier Fucking Boy. Holy fucking shit.